Title: Lost and Found

Chapter: 41

~~~~~~~~~~

To Jo’s surprise and great relief, her aim was true and Molek had time to do little more than give her a shove that pushed Jo against the door before the bullet hit. A hole opened up in Molek’s forehead. The bullet worked it’s own sort of magic and with another shaking of the earth, the crack that had released Molek closed, Mia’s body dropped to the ground. Sam and Dean also dropped, hard. She heard Sam coughing and Dean groaning.

Sometimes, it was the simplest of plans that did the job. Why make things difficult?

Jo turned and, for the first time in a very long time, was physically sick from a job. She heaved the contents of her stomach onto the grass right outside the door. The rain felt good against her skin and she stood there a moment, bent over, waiting in case more came up. It was the tension from making the shot, she decided, and that ultimate relief that she’d actually done it.

I did it. I killed Molek. She’s gone and Mia with her.

Her shoulders relaxed, exhaustion slipping over her in a rush. She put a hand against the barn to steady herself.

Dean touched her back, his hand rubbing, gentle. “Jo? You okay?”

“Yeah, just a little upset stomach. Go check on Ben and get Lisa untied, I’ll be right in.”

She went into the barn slowly, leaning against the door, her legs shaking a little. Maybe she should sit.

She did, watching Dean go from Ben, then Lisa while Sam undid Gwen’s bonds. Jo felt mildly detached from the scene. Dean gave Lisa a once-over as he cut the rope holding her. Jo knew that his sharp gaze would take in everything, note if she really needed a doctor. If she did, they’d get her to one.

His perusal lasted only a few seconds and in that time she saw Lisa smile and sit, reaching for him, her hands stretching out and making a grab for his shirt. It was the sort of move a woman made to drag a man against her and kiss him. Jo had done it herself a few times. Surprise and confusion played about Lisa’s face when Dean turned away and strode back to Jo instead of letting himself be pulled into her embrace. The look of surprise on her face was almost comical, but Jo didn’t laugh. She didn’t giggle because of what she saw underlying that expression as moments passed by.

Lisa didn’t like that Dean rejected her. She didn’t like that he wasn’t single and couldn’t be pulled back to her for any length of time. Jo saw anger, jealousy, and an incredulity mingled together before Lisa masked it. If Lisa hadn’t considered Jo an enemy before, she certainly did now. It was plain there in her expression. A part of Jo wondered what was going on in Lisa’s mind and how she was going to behave while the rest of her frankly didn’t care. Now that she’d met the woman, and interacted with her, Dean’s past with Lisa no longer felt the least bit threatening. There was nothing to feel threatened about.

Jo felt a sharp pang of relief that it was all over.

The civilian was saved. They could go home and she was more than ready to.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was over.

Dean went to Sam first, found him bruised and battered, but blessedly alive, then went to Jo. She was okay as well, entreating him to check Ben and get Lisa untied before coming back to her. He did, bending over Ben, noting that he was breathing and beginning to stir. He was going to hurt later from getting thrown against the wall, but he wasn’t seriously injured. Lastly, he went to Lisa, cutting her bonds, looking her over. The wound on her arm was superficial and nothing to worry about. A little antibiotic ointment and she might not even have much of a scar. Maybe the bump on her forehead could have left a concussion, though she didn’t look like it. Her gaze was clear and it appeared that she wasn’t even very shook up. Perhaps shock was starting to set in.

He cast a glance to Gwen and Sam. Gwen would see to her and give a far more decisive diagnosis than he could, he knew she would. It was how she worked. She was very good with doctoring.

In less than a minute, he’d finished his assessment of Lisa and turned back to Jo, pushing forward past the tugging on his shirt and returning to her. She was sitting by the wall, hands on her stomach. “You’re okay,” he asked, helping her up and taking her in his arms.

“I’m okay, sweetheart,” Jo said. “She didn’t have time to toss me like a rag doll before she died.”

“You’re sure? We’ll get Cas down here, have him check you out and --”

“Dean, I’m fine. Honest.”

“You’re sure you’re okay?”

“I’ll have to pee within the next fifteen minutes, but that’s just normal these days.”

“What’s with the hands on your stomach then?”

“Oh, junior’s just kicking and it’s a little uncomfortable.”

He placed his hand flat on her stomach. “His first real encounter with a demon.”

“Probably not his last.”

“Probably,” he acknowledged. Some day, they were going to have to teach their child how to protect himself or herself. It was inevitable and wholly necessary because he and Jo were both hunters. They would have to teach their child everything they knew and he was starting to accept that. Wasn’t that part of raising a child? Teaching him or her how to be safe in the world? He’d do anything he could to keep his child safe and if that meant imparting the knowledge he had on the things of the world and how to counter them, then so be it.

She looked over at Lisa. “She okay? Need a doctor?”

“Doctor Gwen maybe. Not the E.R. I don’t think.”

“How about Ben?”

He glanced in Ben’s direction. Lisa had moved to him and was hugging him. “He’ll be fine.”

“Good. He’s quite a kid, Dean. He stepped up when he had to.” She leaned against him, rested her head against his chest. “We should get them home, finish things here.”

Gwen went to Lisa and Ben. In a few minutes, she gave her assessment of the situation. Dean was a little surprised to hear her say they needed to sit with them, though he wasn’t surprised awhile later at the cars, when Gwen tugged him aside for a quick chat. She knew what needed to be done -- on all fronts.

She and Sam would take care of the scene. Dean would take care of Lisa and Ben. Her meaning was clear really. He needed to seek the closure he’d never fully had with Lisa and actively shut that chapter of his life. For his own sake, for Jo’s, and for their future.

Dean needed to face those things he’d not let himself face. He needed to take a long look at how Lisa had behaved towards him and towards Sam and all the things he should have said needed to be said.

It was time.

He thought he might even be ready.

~~~~~~~~~~

He cut the bonds holding her while Sam cut Gwen’s. Dean, her hero. Her knight without the armor, saving her again. Lisa sat up, smiling, reaching for Dean in thanks, her fingers grazing his t-shirt, pinching the barest bit of fabric. He moved away from her, not acknowledging her intent to thank him, and crouched down by Jo, his hands helping her up.

Lisa sat on the altar and stared at the two of them, her thoughts jumbled, mind numb, slowly making a transition between terror that was draining, relief that it was done, and confusion at Dean’s current actions.

What had happened? She’d heard Dean’s voice, heard him talking to the…the…the crazy person, and then a second gunshot. She’d only dared to open her eyes when he’d cut her bonds, reaching for him because she needed…. She’d wanted the warm, strong reassurance of his arms around her and instead of that, he’d left her with little more than a glance and, in her opinion, certainly not a thorough assessment of her health. He’d left her on the altar to go to Jo, who hadn’t even been in danger. She hadn’t been the one that nut was going to stab. Lisa was the one who needed him, not her. Why did he go to her?

Her mind struggled to close the door on the night’s happenings. If she didn’t think about them, they never happened. She was never taken from her bed, her house. She was never tied up, taunted by…. Never happened. Never….

Dean’s expression was tender, the hand he laid on Jo’s stomach possessive.

Why was Dean acting that way over Sam’s wife? Why was he concerned about her, holding her….

Beside her, Sam grabbed Gwen to him, his arms around her, face burying in her neck. “You’re alive,” he murmured, over and over. Lisa didn’t hear Gwen’s reply, but whatever it was prompted Sam to kiss her with an enthusiasm that bespoke his feelings rather well.

The woman beside her, Gwen, was the one Sam loved, not….

Lisa gasped, the pieces of her interactions with Sam and Jo clicking into place. Jo’s vehement dislike and general tone. How insistent she’d been that Dean was happy. Sam’s solicitous respect for Jo. The gentle tone, the caring touches to her back, arms, and shoulders.

Jo and Sam weren’t married.

It was Dean Jo was married to, the father of her child, and Sam’s respect hadn’t been concern for his own wife, but rather for his brother’s wife. Dean was married. Married.

Her cheeks flamed with heat and Lisa felt like she’d been punched in the stomach, nausea pooling inside her. There in her mind, if she could bear to admit it to herself, had been the tiny hope that Dean would give up hunting for good, retire, and return to her. Even after she’d moved on, she’d hoped he wouldn’t. That he’d cherish her as his future. His apple pie life. She’d hoped that she’d be the woman he’d never forget. She’d daydreamed that some day, even if she was married to someone else, he’d come to her and declare that she was the one he’d always wanted and he’d remember her until the day he died. She’d wanted him to want her forever, even when she became unattainable.

She stared down at her wrists, rubbed slowly at the red raw skin.

But he had moved on. He’d gotten married, started a family. How was that possible when he was still a hunter? What kind of woman would choose that life for herself and her future? The waiting around for him to come home? The constant wonder if he was really faithful? After all, Dean had always been the sort of guy that women liked. Him being at Sam’s beck and call? What kind of woman was okay with that and with the rest of her life being a non-stop horror ride?

The hunting was okay on occasion. She hadn’t minded him going out on a job, but constant? No way. It was too much. He’d saved the world once. Couldn’t someone else do it?

She turned her attention to Jo, jealousy that was sharp and bitter rising up inside her as she watched Dean caress her face and hold her against him. He was saying something about their baby.

Maybe Jo had him now, but had she been the one he’d warned when whatever big fight that had been going on had threatened the entire world? No. Had it been Jo he’d gone to when Sam had selfishly let Dean believe he was dead for a year? No. It had been Lisa he’d gone to, the first one he’d thought of then. It had been her and whatever Jo thought, Lisa had been first. That would never change.

It was a small consolation that somewhat soothed her battered pride.

She slid off the altar, uncomfortable with all of them right now. Sam was holding Gwen, Dean was holding Jo, and there was no one to hold her. They all appeared to have forgotten she was even there.

A chill breeze swept the barn, stirring the hay on the floor and making Lisa shiver. The storm brought a cold front with it.

Slowly, with as much dignity as she could, Lisa picked her way to where Ben was waking up. She knelt, touching his brow with a hand. “Ben?”

“Mom?” His eyes opened and he sat in a swift movement, grabbing on to her and holding her tightly. “I thought you were going to die!”

“I’m very much alive.”

She sat on the barn floor, holding her son, trying to block out the two couples across from her, but it wasn’t possible. Her attention kept straying to them.

Gwen loosed herself from Sam and came to her, kneeling. “Let me see your arm.”

“It’s a scratch,” Lisa replied, then held out her arm as Gwen had ordered. Her touch was gentle and very much like a doctor’s.

“I think mine was cut deeper,” she determined. “Little more than a scratch, not deep enough for stitches. We were lucky. She could have cut deep enough we’d be dead by now. Clean it really well and keep antibiotic ointment on it. I’d get a blood test, have them test for everything under the sun. Who knows what was on that knife, right? Keep an eye on it. If it starts looking strange, go to your doctor.” She raised a hand, touching the spot on Lisa’s head. “Quite a goose egg you’ve got raising. How many fingers am I holding up?” She went through the drill of checking for a concussion, question after question, and finally, Gwen looked at Ben. “How about you? You hit that wall pretty hard and passed out when she released you.”

“My head hurts a little,” he admitted.

“Understandable.”

“She made it hard to breathe, Gwen. I couldn’t breathe.”

“That’s probably why you passed out, but humor me, okay?” She held up her hand. “How many fingers?” When she was done, she cupped his shoulder with her palm a moment. “Good. I need you both to stand.”

Sam crouched beside her as Dean and Jo came towards them, arms about each other. He stretched out a hand. “Let’s get both of you up, okay?”

Lisa averted her face, trying not to flinch at the warm hand Sam placed on her bare arm. She supposed it hadn’t been him that had grabbed her at the house, but she couldn’t seem to forget that whatever it had been had looked just like him.

Whatever it had been….

No, didn’t happen. Nothing happened.

She got to her feet, keeping Ben close, and stepping back from Sam. Lisa put herself just out of his reach.

Gwen stood as well. “Take a few steps for me?” They complied and Gwen nodded. “Okay. Good.” She looked at Dean and Jo. “We need to stay with them for a few hours. I don’t think they’re concussed, but we should watch both them just in case. It was pretty intense up here where Lisa and I were and we should give her some support, watch for signs of shock.”

She meant mental and emotional support for the way the person had taunted her didn’t she? Lisa licked her lips, closing her eyes for a moment as tears welled up. Not a person. A demon. A demon had teased her with the threat of killing her and Gwen acted like it didn’t even bother her. How? How did she do it? It occurred to her that Gwen must be the other hunter Sam had mentioned. Was that how she did it then? Was she just that desensitized to the horror? “I have friends we can call,” Lisa said. Her voice sounded far away to her ears and she blinked fast to clear the tears.

“Sure.” Gwen nodded. “You mind telling them what happened, because you know there’ll be questions. They’ll take one look at you and ask questions, press for answers, want to know every little detail and honestly, do you want them to know? You want to explain how you ended up in a barn where they’ll find three dead bodies probably in the next few days?”

She tightened her arms around Ben. For the first time in months, he didn’t pull away, accepting the embrace, holding her tighter. “I wouldn’t…want to tell them.” There would be evidence she’d been there somewhere. Her blood that had been spilled or something. She didn’t want anyone to know she’d been mixed up in…this. But how could she take care of it? Someone would find out.

“Good.” Gwen smiled. “We’ll spend the rest of the night watching over you and be off sometime tomorrow.”

It occurred to Lisa that she’d been manipulated into doing exactly what Gwen wanted and Gwen wasn’t the least ashamed of it. In fact, she dared Lisa to object, her stare cool and business-like. She nodded anyway and looked at Dean, ignoring Jo. “Dean. Thank you.”

He shook his head. “No, it was all Jo. She was the one actually killed Molek.”

“It was a team effort,” Jo corrected. “You distracted him so I could get a killing shot.”

“True.” He drew Jo closer. “You took the shot, though.”

“And what a good shot it was,” Gwen said, aiming two fingers at an imaginary target and pretending to shoot. “Damn girl. You took like one second to aim. Color me impressed with your skills.”

“Same skills you have,” Jo replied, staring at Lisa. While she expected to see triumph in her eyes, or something along those lines, all Lisa saw was fatigue. “All part of the job.”

It felt almost insulting that there wasn’t any triumph there. “Thanks,” Lisa told her and turned her face against Ben. She wanted this night to end so she could forget it had ever happened.

~~~~~~~~~

Sam’s arms were a welcome support about Gwen and she allowed herself only a moment of relaxation, pressing her face into his neck. A small sob left her before she was able to push it back down.

She looked at Lisa, saw the beginnings of shock and denial, then looked at Dean and Jo. As much as Dean would like to leave without having the discussion he needed with Lisa, he needed to have that talk. There were things that had been left unsaid between the two and those things would haunt Dean for the rest of his life if he didn’t face them. Gwen couldn’t make him do it, but she could give him the opportunity.

As quickly as the rain had begun, it stopped. The path to the barn was muddy and waterlogged. They were going to have to walk. No way either car wouldn’t get stuck in that mud if they tried to bring them back here. She looked at Lisa. By the time they reached the cars, her feet were going to be cut, bruised, and muddy more than they already were. She didn’t need that along with everything else and Gwen made a quick decision, glancing up at Sam beside her. “Would you mind carrying Lisa down the lane? Her feet are going to be shredded by the time we get to the cars.” He was strong enough to do it.

“Not at all.” He didn’t want to she saw, but would do it because Gwen asked. He held out his hands for Lisa to take.

Instead, Lisa backed up a few steps, her answer said in Gwen’s direction. “No, no I can walk. It’s okay.”

“I have shoes on, you don’t,” Sam told her, but she was firm. She’d rather hurt her feet than let Sam carry her. “You’re sure?”

“I’d rather walk.” Her tone could easily be translated into ‘I’d rather be boiled in oil than let you touch me in any way.’.

Sam lips tightened and he turned his back on Lisa. Gwen understood his frustration and disgust. If she didn’t have a responsibility here, she’d rather leave Lisa to find her own way home. Gwen bet if Lisa had to walk all the way back barefoot, she’d be a bit more agreeable about accepting Sam’s help.

She fell into step beside Sam, following Dean and Jo, letting Ben guide his mother.

When they reached the vehicles, Gwen caught Dean’s arm, tugging him away a few steps to speak with him in relative privacy.

“Dean, you and Jo take Lisa and Ben home. Sam and I will do some damage control, pack at the motel, check out, and meet you at Lisa’s in a couple hours.”

“Damage control?”

“The sort that needs to be done for Lisa to continue to live here in Battle Creek” She was already planning where to start the fire, how to stack the bodies, and how to take care of this matter in a way that would keep Lisa safe from scrutiny. She knew Sam and Dean didn’t usually clean up anything, preferring to head out before anyone noticed that something had happened. Or as close to that as possible. But she’d been taught what to do in the case they needed to protect someone and Lisa and Ben needed this final protection. They needed the end and one where they wouldn’t be dragged into an investigation.

“Gwen?”

“Mia said the Campbells weren’t inclined to take people in, that they burned bridges rather than try to save those bridges. It’s true. It’s better not to most times, keeps us in the game and out of jail. Sometimes we do save those bridges, but sometimes, Dean…. The only way to save a bridge completely is to burn it.” She slanted a pointed glance towards Lisa and Ben. “You and only you need to fully burn your bridge. It’s time and you know it. Sam and I’ll take care of this, you take care of that.”

It took a moment for him to understand her meaning. She could see the sadness and resolution in his eyes. He was ready now to do whatever it took. “I know. I know, Gwen. I will.” He gestured at the barn. “Make sure you get everything, okay?”

“We will.” She’d keep moving as long as she could, because if she stopped to think for one second, she was going to break down and this wasn’t the time for that. Later, she’d let herself process what had happened, but for now, she’d push forward.

She and Sam watched Jo spread a blanket out on the backseat, Ben settling Lisa on the seat and putting another blanket around her. Within five minutes, Gwen and Sam were alone and back at the barn, moving bodies and deciding just what they were going to do.

Sam bent and retrieved the journal from where Mia had tossed it. “You want this?” He waved it a little. “Could clear up a few final details.”

“I probably should keep it. The rest are undoubtedly in those boxes we brought back from the compound.”

“I can hold on to it for you until we get back.”

She stared at it a moment, then nodded. “Yeah. Keep it for me.”

“So how are we going to take care of this? Fire?”

“I think so. The rain will keep it from spreading to the woods and the house, but with the bales the inside’ll catch quickly. What do you think?”

“I think some farmer is gonna be pissed.”

“Hope he’s insured.”

The fire didn’t take long to set or take the structure. Gwen thought that all that was going to be left was a shell. Good. Let it all burn.

A numbness took hold of her and it felt like she was an observer outside her body instead of in it. She let Sam guide her to the car and into the motel room once they reached the motel. Gwen sat on the edge of one bed, replaying the events of the past hours in her head. Her mother, the demon, the information she’d learned. If not for the Campbell family she would have either died as a sacrifice to Molek or been raised in Mia’s image, a witch dedicated to pure evil. If not for Neal Campbell saving her life and raising her as his own, her life would have been very different. After several minutes, she realized Sam had crouched down before her and was talking to her. She blinked and shook her head. “What? I didn’t --”

“Are you okay?”

She gave a helpless shrug. “My birth mother tried to kill me. She --” Tears welled up and Gwen couldn’t hold back the sobs that came in their wake, letting Sam draw her against him. He held her gently, as though she was fragile and might break, one hand sweeping along her back, his voice in her ear, murmuring soothing words.

She cried for what had happened tonight and for the hopes she’d had about her birth parents. Gwen cried because the truth hurt too much not to.

~~~~~~~~~

Ben didn’t want to acknowledge that he’d seen his mom not being very nice to Jo. He sat down on a chair across from Jo. He could hear the water running upstairs as his mom took a shower. She’d been in there for over half an hour already. He wondered if she was going to stay in there until all the hot water was gone and decided he couldn’t blame her if she did. She’d been shivering by the time they’d gotten inside the house. The hot water would help her to warm up.

Maybe he should make some coffee? Or cocoa? His mom still made cocoa for him whenever he was cold. Would she like that? Would tea be better? He thought they had some teabags somewhere in the pantry. Maybe he’d wait and see what Dean said. He didn’t want to disturb Jo with such a question. She looked like she was about ready to nod off.

He heard the sound of the vacuum as Dean finished cleaning up the shape shifter skin. Dean refused to let Ben help and, for once, Ben didn’t feel like he should press him on it. He didn’t mind Dean taking care of it without him. In fact, he sort of preferred not to have anything to do with it.

Jo gave him a weak smile, closed her eyes, and leaned her head back. Dirt still streaked her face. When they’d gotten back to the house, Dean had wiped a cloth across it, but he’d missed a smudge. In less than a minute, she was asleep. Ben wondered if all the running around had been hard on her and the baby.

His stare fell to her stomach and he hoped she was okay. He didn’t think he’d ever forget how she’d gone to try to save his mom. She’d put herself in danger to save her.

It had been something of a shock then to see his mom trying very hard not to acknowledge Jo’s presence. Except for that moment back at the barn, she wouldn’t look at Jo, speak to her directly, or answer her when Jo spoke. She was being rude in a way that would have gotten him grounded without any electronic amusements for months. Why? Jo had saved her life. She’d been nice and was nice. So why….?

He attempted to think it out like a logic problem. How would he feel if Tommy left and showed up later with a husband? The husband part he couldn’t wrap his mind around, so he amended it to ‘boyfriend’ instead. Someone who looked to fit in Tommy’s life better than he ever had. Someone who just seemed to click perfectly.

The answer to that was simple. He’d be jealous. He’d hate seeing another guy there; seeing how right the two looked; seeing how things might have been different if he himself had been a little different. It’d be particularly galling if that guy saved his life.

When he thought he understood his mom’s mindset at present better, he got up and placed a light blanket over Jo, tucking it a little about her and trying not to wake her. Ben turned to return to his chair and saw Dean leaning against the wall watching him. He looked tired, a question in his eyes that he didn’t actually ask. Ben shrugged. “I like Jo,” he said simply.

Dean’s smile was weak, like Jo’s had been, and he shoved off the wall, walking towards Ben. As he approached, Ben could see the exhaustion clinging to him. “I’m glad. She likes you, too. Thinks you’re quite a kid.” He stepped past Ben and sat beside Jo, putting an arm around her and gently easing her to him. She made a noise of contentment low in her throat and shifted position, turning in his embrace and returning to sleep. “Floor in your room is clean.”

“Thanks.” He motioned to the stairs. “I’m gonna go up for awhile.”

With a nod, Dean turned his face into Jo’s hair.

Dean put his other arm around her, and though he whispered, it was still loud enough for Ben to hear him tell Jo that he loved her.

The words didn’t make Ben cringe or feel anything except a burst of happiness that Dean had a family that loved him. A wife who would save the life of an old girlfriend rather than let her be killed; who would take care of that girlfriend’s son without malice towards him and even try to keep him away from the danger. A brother who would do the same. And Gwen, also that way. His family cared and they loved Dean just as much as Ben had. He’d seen the emotional bonds, the love and affection, between all of them.

Jo had grown up in the life and was a part of it from her childhood, like Gwen. Ben couldn’t imagine either woman living the life he and his mom had. He couldn’t imagine them doing carpools, having lunch with friends and going shopping, or going to average jobs. He couldn’t imagine them being ordinary.

While they weren’t superheroes, hunters were heroes and he knew enough about graphic novel superheroes to know that a parallel could definitely be drawn here. Hunters were the superheroes of the real world. It took a certain type of person to make the sacrifices necessary to continue to be a hunter and he’d met four of them. Dean, Sam, Jo, and Gwen. They were all above ordinary, willing to do whatever they had to to fight the good fight.

He didn’t have the makings to be one of them. He’d considered those things Gwen had said and come to that conclusion. He couldn’t be a hunter because he didn’t have the strength to let go. Dean had once told Ben that he wasn’t like Dean; he had other options available to him and it was true. Had Dean seen that Ben didn’t have the qualities that made a hunter? Maybe. Maybe it had just been about protecting him. Either way, Ben didn’t have what it took.

He found he didn’t care to be a hunter as much as he once had. While it was a good profession, in the end, it wasn’t for him.

Sam and Dean were out there. Jo and Gwen were out there. Nameless others were out there. They lived the life, died in the life, and along the way, they sometimes saved the whole damn world.

He thought he might finally understand the truth of hunting. It wasn’t glamorous or exciting. It was hard, dangerous, and sometimes boring. It required discipline and sacrifice. It called for giving up the things most people took for granted as normal and living outside of society. It meant a person’s entire life, not just a tiny piece. A hunter was one for life.

Smiling just a little, he headed up the stairs.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later, Gwen sat at the kitchen table with Lisa, taking a last close look at the scratch on her arm and the bump on her brow.

“Up there,” Lisa began, her voice shaking and low, gaze studying her. “How were you not terrified?” She’d taken several long showers in the hours that had passed, her shivering easing a bit more with each one, and she wore jeans, a t-shirt and had a sweater sitting on the table, there to put on when Gwen was done.

Gwen put a bandage on the scratch, one spread liberally with antibiotic ointment. “It’s part of the job to remain calm and…I was scared. I was sure we were going to die.”

“You didn’t look it.”

“I’ve been part of the hunting community a long time, Lisa. It’s sort of a necessity to desensitize yourself to some of it. The faint of heart and weak of stomach don’t last long. Can’t go out to slay Godzilla if you’re afraid of being stepped on.”

She’d looked uncomfortable for hours now, staring at Dean as though she couldn’t quite figure something out and repeatedly ignoring Sam and Jo with a rudeness that made Gwen want to punch her and yell at her to live in the real world. There was a look in her eyes, a decision she’d made to forget all of this. Maybe she’d managed to suppress some of it already.

But Gwen thought it wasn’t going to be quite that easy for her. “A bit of advice,” she said, closing the first aid kit.

“What?”

“Don’t bury this.” She looked around at the nice, neat house, with everything just so. “You’re going to have nightmares, nights you’ll wake up, certain it’s happening all over again. I guarantee those nightmares aren’t going to be easy to endure. You may even have them nightly for awhile. You might not feel at ease in this house anymore. Change the locks, paint, move the furniture around, make it seem like a different place. It’s normal though. All of that, the nightmares, the feelings, it’s normal. What happened was --”

“In the past. Over. Done.”

Gwen frowned. Unbelievable. “The memory of this isn’t going to go away, Lisa. You can’t pretend it didn’t happen. It did happen. You were abducted from your home, held captive, and nearly murdered. It was a last minute rescue. Doesn’t matter if you like it or not, you have to face this. Go get counseling, talk to Ben’s dad, something.”

Her glance fell to the table. “Do you still face things? Will you go to counseling?”

Honestly? No. She knew she could talk to Jo, Ellen, and Sam. Even Dean would listen if she really wanted to talk to him about it. Later today, when they stopped for the night, she planned to curl up with Sam again, let the warmth of his embrace soothe her. She’d talk to him, get it all out in uncontrollable sobs, then lather, rinse and repeat until it didn’t hurt as much anymore.

That was her world. She knew to expect the breakdown that was coming, accepted that it was going to happen. If she was Lisa, she’d go to counseling so fast heads would spin. She’d go to try to regain the sense of having an ordinary life. But she wasn’t Lisa and she could see the woman was going to ignore her advice and pretend it had never happened. She was going to will herself back to the point where Jo and Sam had come to see her, perhaps even before. She was going to ignore everything that had happened.

Gwen vaguely remembered Dean once saying something about that being Lisa’s defense mechanism. She ignored whatever she didn’t want to see or deal with.

“I would,” she lied.

Lisa’s attention returned to her. “If I need help, I’ll get it.”

The lie was there in her eyes and voice and while Gwen could call her on it, Lisa had made up her mind. To her, suppressing it and ignoring it was infinitely better than working through the fears and knowledge involved. It was better than actively acknowledging that her life had once more intersected with supernatural creatures. Gwen felt very tired, not really up to getting someone else into a good place. She’d already done more than she usually did because of what Lisa had once been to Dean and only wanted to leave. She wanted to be away from this house and town and never see Battle Creek again.

Someone else was going to have to be the one to put Lisa back together. Maybe Ben’s dad could do it. Or someone yet to walk into Lisa’s life.

“Okay.” She nodded and got up. “Goodbye then.” Turning, she went to where Sam waited at the front door and went outside with him.

The storm had passed quickly, leaving sunshine and cooler temperatures in it’s wake. It had been all build up and bluster and not much in the way of damages. The sun was warm on her skin.

Sam put his arm around her as they walked to the car. “She okay?”

“Physically she’s fine, but that woman is far from stable mentally. She’s going to need counseling and I bet she won’t get it. I told her to.”

He opened the back door for her. “It’s up to her. You tried. She’s an adult. She can make her own mistakes. Lie down and get some rest. I suspect we’re going to be waiting for Jo and Dean for awhile.”

“You’re bossy today.”

“Rest,” he urged.

He didn’t have to say it again. Gwen stretched out and let herself drift into a half asleep state.