Title: Lost and Found

Chapter: Seventeen

~~~~~~~~~~

Jo was nervous. She both wanted to see her mother and didn’t, afraid of what she’d find the second they walked in to the motel room.

Dean took her hand in his. “Do you want me to call Sam? Have him come out and escort us in?”

“No. Yes. Would he?”

“Okay.” He nodded. “Let me call Sam.”

He didn’t call, he texted and within a minute, Sam was coming out of the motel and over to the car. Sam opened the passenger door and crouched down, taking one of Jo’s hands in his. “Hey, Jo.” He smiled.

“Sam.” She swallowed hard. One hand in Dean’s, one in Sam’s, her support group of two at the moment.

“Are you ready to go in?”

“No. How is she?”

“Curious as to who’s coming to see her. Gwen and I’ve tried not to give her any real details.” His thumb swept across the back of her hand. “Don’t get your hopes up though. I don’t think the methods we used on you will work. You can try, but I doubt she’ll know you.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“Are you?”

“Yes,” she replied in the firmest tone possible, though now that she was here, her resolve was fading. She was conscious of Dean beside her shaking his head in negative, contradicting her and didn’t try to correct him because he was right. He knew the truth as well as she did. She knew she shouldn’t get her hopes up and had anyway.

“She’s got a few light memories without anything specific. She recognized my voice and I’m sure she’s got yours, Dean’s and probably Bobby’s too in her head. And she told me about stalking some woman, who I’m sure was you, to prove she wasn’t as observant as she thought she was. Doesn’t remember who the woman was though.”

“That was me,” Jo confirmed, remembering that incident well. Her mother had stalked her for three weeks and when Ellen had finally confronted Jo, she’d presented photographic evidence of the stalking. Jo had been embarrassed at how off-guard her mother had caught her. She’d been having a month of doubt about living the hunting life, more than a little lackadaisical in her usual bouts of hunter paranoia and therefore hadn’t been expecting anyone or anything to be following her around. She’d thought she’d gone enough off-grid and hadn’t, though to be fair, her mother seemed to have a sort of radar that honed in on her whenever they were in the same basic location. At least, it had always felt that way over the years.

“See?” His smile was brief and crooked. “She’s got a little memory in there peeking out.” It was an attempt to make her feel better going in there and Jo was grateful for it. “Try not to feel discouraged. Dean and I will be right there and Gwen’s aware of the situation, too.”

“Okay.” She took a deep breath. “Let’s go.”

Upon entering the room, she barely noticed the young woman there, focusing instead on the welcome sight of her mother. She looked well, if a little older. Still not a streak of gray or silver in her hair -- good genes on her mom’s side Jo knew. She licked her lips and waited for a response, hoping and praying she got the one she wanted. Logic dictated that getting her mother back was going to be difficult, yet Jo had still had a hope within her heart and mind that it’d be easy. For once, couldn’t something be easy? If she was honest with herself, she’d admit that her hopes outweighed logic.

Jo wasn’t honest with herself right then and everyone in that room knew it.

Therefore, the moment her mother looked at her with a puzzled frown and asked if she was supposed to know her, Jo was gutted. All she could do was stand and stare, understanding in an icy rush how Dean and Sam must have felt with her, Sam especially. The blood seemed to leave her limbs, hands becoming cold, and if Dean hadn’t been standing close with a bracing arm about her waist, she thought her suddenly weak knees might have given out. He kept her from sliding to the ground when she started to sag, fingers grasping the waist of her jeans under her shirt and hauling her upright, body a firm anchor against her.

“I’m your daughter,” she managed to whisper before convulsive sobs hit her and she turned into Dean’s comforting embrace, letting him take the brunt of her weight. He’d been ready for this…. Jo couldn’t help the tears or sobs, helpless beneath a wave of choking emotion.

“Her name is Jo,” she heard Gwen say.

Ellen cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, Jo. I…I don’t remember you.”

Dean worked the photo album from Jo’s hand -- it was a wonder she hadn’t dropped it -- and she squeezed her eyes shut. “Joanna Beth Harvelle. She was born April 7, 1983.”

“Is Harvelle my last name, too?” A curious lilt to her voice and Jo turned, keeping her arms about Dean’s waist.

“Yes. You always told me dad was the love of your life, that you knew you’d never remarry.”

Ellen’s nod was slow. “That feels right, but…I thought my family was dead. It was one of those facts I thought I had straight.”

“It’s a little complicated.” Sam sat at the table. “Jo was dead. You both were. She was….”

“Ripped open by a hellhound and bled out in a hardware store in Carthage, Missouri,” Jo finished at his hesitation. “Not a time to be sensitive, Sam, but I appreciate the effort.”

The photo album was turned over in Ellen’s hands. “How are you alive?”

Jo rubbed a hand along Dean’s back in a gesture that was more for her own calm than his. “Same way you are.”

“An angel,” Dean cut in, his arm tightening a fraction about her again. “He wanted to use the two of you against us. Another angel stepped in and changed the plan.”

Ellen sat down on the edge of the bed, crossing her legs and setting the album beside her to lean back on her hands. “Why against you, Sam, and Gwen?”

“Me and Sam. Gwen wasn’t a part of that. We didn’t even meet her until later. Didn’t Gwen tell you we didn’t know we even had any relatives left?”

Gwen sat on the end of the bed, directing a speculative stare at Ellen. “I mentioned it. I remember mentioning it.”

Surely they realized what her mother was doing? Jo glanced at the three of them and back to her mother. Ellen wasn’t being particularly subtle about it, either. She was making sure the facts Gwen had told her added up with what was being said now.

“Just making sure I have it all straight, boys.” Ellen touched the album. “So, what’s this?”

“Pictures. You put them in that album and kept it with you. With us.” Jo rested her cheek against Dean’s chest. Her tears weren’t stopping, they were simply there, a constant flow.

“Oh.” She opened the album, her continued detached manner causing fresh sobs to well up in Jo.

Sam and Dean had been right. Seeing the pictures didn’t work, nor did seeing Jo before her. She felt defeated by the entire situation.

~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re Dean,” Ellen said to the young man who came through the door with Sam, then looked at his companion. The young woman was beautiful in a way that made Ellen’s heart constrict within her. Breathtaking. She looked at Ellen with a mixture of expectation and fear. “I’m sorry….” Ellen shook her head. “Am I supposed to know you?”

Ellen wished she could say she knew the young woman, but she simply didn’t. The hope in the woman’s eyes gave way to despair and tears and Ellen wanted to step forward, take her in her arms and tell her it’d be okay.

The pronouncement that she was Ellen’s daughter stunned her. She clearly recalled knowing her family was dead -- not that she’d had a daughter specifically, only that her child was as dead as the husband she knew she’d had at one time.

Jo.

Joanna Beth Harvelle.

She tested it silently and could almost hear her own voice yelling it. Then, she tested her own name with that last name. Ellen Harvelle. It felt right to her, proper. Expressing her confusion brought an answer that also felt strangely right.

Hellhounds, Carthage, Missouri, and angels.

Looking down at the photo album Dean had handed her, Ellen placed it on her lap and opened it like she thought they wanted her to. Each page was studied carefully, Ellen scrutinizing the details, hungry for information. She was definitely one of the people in the pictures, unmistakable, as were Jo, Sam, and Dean. A desperation to know what they knew about her life grew. She had to know, because she thought there’d be nothing more terrible in the world to have lost her family into a black hole in her mind.

What if she never remembered Jo, or giving birth at all? What if she was never able to feel that connection she’d apparently had with Jo and with the Winchester brothers?

“I’m sorry,” she repeated in a whisper. “I want to remember. I want to remember you and these times in here, but….” she shrugged, sliding a hand across one page and feeling helpless. “I’m sorry.”

Sam moved to her, sitting beside her, and putting an arm around her. “It’s okay, Ellen.”

“No, Sam, no it’s not! I have a daughter I can’t even remember. How is that okay?”

“I only meant that we’ll do everything we can to help you get those memories back.” His hand chafed her arm.

“How?”

He didn’t have an answer and she saw that none of the rest did either. Despair, the same she thought was running roughshod over Jo, slid over her as well and Ellen began to cry.

~~~~~~~~~~

For all of Jo’s previous assurances that she expected trouble, they meant nothing when confronted with the harsh reality of her mother not knowing her. She was inconsolable, grieving fully now for what had been and might never be again. He’d thought at first that Jo had understood the reality of the situation. After all, she’d insisted she had and it had looked like maybe she did on the way here.

Now though?

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and rocked her slightly, aching inside for the disappointment and emotional agony she and Ellen were both going through. He knew exactly how Jo felt. It was hard for him to watch her go through this.

It was clear she’d never really let herself accept what could happen. She’d let herself hope too much and that hope was smashed.

Releasing her, he motioned to Gwen, who nodded and came through the connecting door and into the room. “Stay with her a minute,” he asked.

“Sure.” Gwen nodded.

Dean opened the door and stepped outside, leaving the door cracked. He watched through the window as Gwen took his place beside Jo and put an awkward arm around her, lips moving as she said something that seemed to calm Jo somewhat. Though Gwen claimed she hated this sort of drama, she appeared to be enjoying being in the thick of it, calming Ellen, helping to calm Jo.

Ellen was just as upset as Jo, for much the same reason. She wanted desperately to remember Jo, worrying aloud that she might never actually remember the child she’d given birth to. She was terrified those memories would remain buried forever. Sam, out of all of them, had the best results in calming her, assuring her in a quiet voice that she was remembering things, only not as fast as they’d all like her to. He’d pointed out a few things she’d mentioned to him the past couple days, like the phantom voices she heard in her mind and the stalking incident that Jo confirmed had happened.

Dean was very afraid the wait for Ellen’s memory would end up destroying Jo and Ellen both if he didn’t try to take action. He decided to take a big chance on annoying Castiel -- if he was even still alive. Surely Cas would do this. He liked both Ellen and Jo and he’d tried to fix Jo’s memory at first.

Slipping his hands in his jacket pockets, he cast a glance up at the night sky. “Cas? Castiel? If you’re still out there somewhere, alive and available…. We need you. We need your ability to look in people’s heads and see what’s up. It’s….” He sighed. “Cas, it’s Ellen. We’ve found her, but she doesn’t….” A frustrated noise left him. He wanted to make this right for Jo and Ellen both. “Damn it, Cas. Can you hear me at all?” Dean fumbled in his pocket for his phone and pulled it out. Might as well try that avenue, too. “Please hear me because I don’t think we have days to sit on this waiting for you. I don’t think Ellen and Jo can last that long.” He’d just dialed Castiel’s number when he heard Cas’s voice from behind him.

“I hear you, Dean. I’m here.”

Turning, he saw immediately that Cas was more relaxed than he’d ever seen him. “You’re still alive.” Relief slid through him.

“Yes.” His head turned, gaze fixing on Jo and Gwen through the window. “Your…cousin…is a very capable woman.”

Dean wondered a brief second on that odd pause and mention of Gwen and decided it didn’t mean anything at all. It was Cas talking like Cas. “She is at that. We found Ellen --”

“You said.” With that, Castiel was gone.

“And he’s gone. Poof.” Dean went inside the room and to the connecting door with the thought that Castiel may have gone there. He had, standing in front of Ellen, studying her. She stood and stared right back at him, not nearly as shocked by his sudden appearance as she should be for not having her memories. Maybe the mention of angels had sparked a tiny bit of memory she hadn’t admitted to?

“Geez,” Gwen gasped.

Dean turned to see what had startled her. It was Castiel, who now stood in front of Jo.

“I swear I’m going to put bells on you,” Dean told him.

Jo’s expression when she looked up at Castiel betrayed every ounce of her heartbreak and Dean stepped closer. Castiel touched his fingers to her temple, paused, then placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned down a fraction.

“Rejoice, for the day you’ve dreamed is at hand. This I can fix, Jo.”

Castiel was back before Ellen, staring at her as though seeing a mental map of what he needed to do, his brows drawn down. She tried to back up, but Sam placed a hand on her back, keeping her in place.

“What --” Ellen started to turn her head to look at Sam, but Castiel’s hand suddenly lashed out, two fingers to her forehead. In a second, satisfaction flashed across Castiel’s face. Dean thought he even saw the fleeting tiny curl of a grin.

Seeing Ellen’s memory return wasn’t like seeing Jo’s return. This was a fraction of a second shift between a puzzled, confused Ellen and one fully cognizant of what had occurred and what was happening now. She blinked and sucked in a breath. “Castiel? What…..” Her expression changed, became mournful and anguished. “Oh hell no! I’m --”

He lowered his hand. “Hello, Ellen. It’s good to see you again.”

Whirling from the doorway, Dean grabbed for Jo’s hand, tugging her to her feet. “Paging Doctor Cas,” he called, “you’re awesome!” He pulled her to the doorway where she could see Ellen and be seen.

“Mom?” Jo practically sobbed the word, her voice husky, the desperate hope in it carrying over to her expression and even posture.

He released her, expecting her and Ellen to run to each other any moment now. He wasn’t disappointed.

“Jo?” Ellen pushed past Castiel, reaching for Jo. “Baby!” They fell into each others arms, crying, laughing, and talking both fast and over each other in a rush of words that Dean suspected would need repeating later.

A slow smile formed as he watched that reunion Jo had yearned for. She’d talked about what she hoped for and Castiel had made it happen completely. Jo had her mother back and Dean was happy for her. He approached to Castiel. Cas looked tired, but satisfied, even…happy. He wondered what was up to cause that.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The first details of what Castiel and Uzziel wanted to accomplish were hammered out. They were going to do a census of angels, figure out who was still there and in what capacity. Then they’d assess what heaven needed and reassign if necessary. Uzziel wanted reports on everything. Cas thought it was okay to start with. They just needed to get a handle on the current full state of heaven and when they had, they could relax the initial rules.

Uzziel was full of ideas already, saying something Castiel hadn’t quite followed about classes and apprentices and work-study programs. He seemed to have studied humans a bit when he was supposed to have been doing Raphael’s dirty work and had admitted some curiosity towards them.

Castiel sat down and waited for the first reports to come in. It wouldn’t be long. Uzziel’s soldiers were efficient in their tasks.

Weariness welled up inside him and he stared without seeing his surroundings, breathing slowly, resting. Relaxation was a good sensation. He’d begun to attain a state of calm that he hadn’t felt in years now when he heard Dean calling for him.

Uzziel looked over at him and crossed his arms. “Go on. I’ve got this. Take your time. You haven’t seen your human friends in awhile and when you have it’s never been for a relaxing time. Go see what that’s like. You’ll find it a simple matter to return Ellen Harvelle back to her true self. I started the process when I saw her.” He started forward and turned back. “Would you be willing to write up a report detailing that particular sort of human interaction? The socializing, I mean.”

Cas stared at him. While not enthusiastic about human interactions personally, Uzziel was willing to learn, throwing himself into planning how to be more hands-on with humans. His behavior since winning the war only hours earlier bore that out. He was definitely trying to work with Castiel on policy and everything else. Time would tell if he’d continue to be so agreeable, however.

“Yes? No? Maybe?” He held up a hand. “Think about it. It’d be a useful tool when we start implementing some of those changes we talked about a little bit ago.”

“I’m going,” Cas told him.

“Think about --”

He left before Uzziel could finish the sentence.

Dean was agitated and attempting not to show it. Castiel could see that he was worried for Ellen and Jo, more specifically for Jo.

Interesting, he thought.

Going to Ellen, he took the briefest of looks at her mind, relieved that Uzziel hadn’t lied when he’d stated that Ellen wouldn’t take long to put back to normal. He then moved to Jo, taking in the depths of her grief, noting that her tears had given her a headache that had her feeling ill to her stomach. With a touch, he healed that pain and nausea and placed his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Castiel wasn’t good at comforting people and knew it, so he tried to give her encouraging words before returning to Ellen.

He peered into Ellen’s mind more closely, seeing the connections that needed a final tap to reactivate and those that needed a last bridge to repair. All in all, Ellen was easy to fix. Uzziel had repaired the damage Zachariah had done and his doctoring abilities proved to be excellent. Castiel couldn’t have done a better job himself. Well, if he’d had the power to heal that sort of damage. Uzziel was higher on the power scale than he was. All it took to fix Ellen was a touch.

Pleasure in making her well again filled him and he stepped aside, giving her a clear view of Jo.

Tears spilled from her eyes.

He wasn’t offended when Ellen pushed past him as though he’d ceased to exist because, for her, all had ceased save her daughter’s presence. He watched them embrace, both talking at once, crying and laughing. While he had no trouble following what either woman was saying, he wondered if they were really able to hear each other and fully understand what was said. He’d observed other women doing the same and thought that women truly were extraordinary creations in many ways.

Jo spoke of her search for Ellen, her own time alone, and of her relationship with Dean, chronicling the highlights. Castiel found it very telling that Jo told Ellen immediately about Dean. That relationship was important to her and she made sure her mother knew it.

Ellen spoke of life alone until she’d met up with Gwen and the horrible reality of not knowing who she was. She stressed how difficult it was to have no memories of her past.

Gwen and Sam retreated, sitting down at the table and talking quietly, giving the two women time together, while Dean came to him. “Cas.”

“Hello, Dean. There should be a celebration now -- for Ellen and Jo, for you and Jo….”

“Me and Jo?” Dean was visibly startled that Cas knew about them, though he shouldn’t be. It wasn’t even mind-reading to see that things had changed and become intimate between them. It was all over their faces. They’d had the right time and place and it had been perfect for them. If even Castiel could see it, it was more than obvious to anyone.

“Yes.” Castiel was glad for that. Jo was good for Dean. She gave him something he needed and he was lighter in heart and spirit than he’d been in a very long time. As for Jo, Dean was good for her as well. He made her natural sassiness spring forth, gave her a lightness of spirit more appropriate for her age than the solemn retrospection she’d been slipping into prior to her death. “You deny you’ve have sexual relations with her?”

“No, but --”

“It’s taken a long time to reach that point between you?”

“Yeah, but --”

“Then there should be celebrating. And for me as well.” Besides, with the war above ended, he did feel like celebrating himself. Castiel left, returning quickly with a large paper sack of their favorite brands of beer. Ellen, Jo, Dean, Sam, and Gwen. He set the sack down. “It all should be celebrated.”

Dean whistled as Castiel drew out the bottles and cans. “We’ll just call you Mr. Moneybags from now on. What’s up with you, Cas? You’re in a damn good mood. Big victory in the war?” He passed out the beers and returned, holding out a bottle. “Join us. If you have time.”

“I’ve time.” He let a smile blossom. It was finally starting to really sink in that his side had won the war. It was over. No more fighting. “The war is over, Dean. Raphael was defeated earlier today. We lost a total of one-third our brethren, but it’s done. It really is…over.”

He stared, comprehension growing in his eyes, a grin forming on his face. “You did it?”

“I had help. You were right. I had allies. Uzziel turned, brought most of Raphael’s army with him.”

“Wow. That’s…that’s awesome, Cas. So what are you gonna do now?”

“Put the pieces back together. Really put heaven back together. It’s going to be easier without Raphael causing trouble. Uzziel and I have begun deciding what needs addressed first and we’ve put together a semi-plan. Uzziel thinks we need to be more of a presence on earth than we’ve been and in a friendlier capacity. He’s willing to learn and I think others are as well. It’s a new day for us, Dean.”

“Congratulations.”

He didn’t protest the arm Dean slung about his shoulders. Cas wasn’t particularly comfortable with that gesture and never had been, but just this once he’d accept it. He’d pretend he was more human than he was because Dean was happy for him.

“We’ve gotta tell the others.” Dean clinked their beer bottles together and urged Castiel forward with him.

Castiel enjoyed the evening, surprised to find that, when he relaxed, he did remember many of those human behaviors he’d learned when he’d fallen. He resolved right then to do this often and keep his people skills current -- and maybe even write up a report for Uzziel to read.

After all, it wasn’t like he was busy fighting a war anymore, was it?

~~~~~~~~~~

Gwen sat on the bed beside Ellen, back to the headboard beside her. With Jo’s arrival, she knew things were going to change by necessity. They had to. Their team was done. From now on, it’d be Ellen and Jo Harvelle, like they’d started out and Gwen would go back to working alone. She was trying not to feel disappointed by that. She’d grown rather accustomed to hunting with Ellen. “So now that Jo’s back --”

“We’ll figure out a better way to divvy up the steps of the hunts we’ve got planned. Jo’s strong on research and planning, so that’ll take some of the load off of both of us.” Her sidelong glance was mildly amused, as though she’d known what Gwen had been thinking. Maybe she had.

“You want me to stay with you?” She frowned, wondering why since Ellen was going to want to spend time getting to know Jo again. “Why? You should spend time with Jo. Get to know her again.”

“We’re a team, aren’t we? You and me? And it’s better with three of us anyway. I’m not as young as I used to be and Jo’s going to be going off with Dean every so often.”

“Don’t you want to take some time and get to know her again? It’s been years since you were together. She’s changed, I’m sure.”

“We’ll catch up as we go like we did last time.” Ellen yawned. “I’m still worn out from yesterday. Why don’t you take everyone into your room for the rest of this party and let me get to bed?”

“Why don’t you and Jo stay here and talk?”

“Gwen, we’ll talk plenty over the next few weeks. Trust me. She knows I need rest.”

A glance at the door to Gwen’s room showed Jo shooing Sam and Dean through the door and motioning to Castiel to follow them. “Come on, guys. Mom’s tired.”

Dean stretched, taking up the entire doorway. “Now that you mention it, I’m kind of tired myself --”

“It’s only eleven, Dean.”

“It’s past my bedtime, woman.”

Jo shook her head with a grin and glanced over her shoulder. “You coming, Gwen?”

“Yeah, I’ll be in in a minute.”

Castiel approached the bed, gaze curious. “Do you require further healing services, Ellen?”

“It’s nothing, Cas. Another couple of good nights of sleep and I’ll be right as rain.”

“I could ease your fatigue.”

Ellen smiled. “Sweet offer, but I’d rather try sleep first.”

“Very well.” He turned away and went into Gwen’s room.

“Do you need anything?” Gwen got off the bed and waited for the negative she knew was coming.

“I think I have everything I need now.” Her smile was soft, relieved.

Gwen nodded. “I think you do.” She wondered a moment on what the coming weeks were going to bring for them. They were all going to have to adjust, even Sam and Dean. She went to the connecting door and stepped through into her room, closing the door behind her.

The party was back in full swing and Gwen grinned.

This was what she’d missed.

God willing there’d be many more evenings like this for them.

She took the fresh can of beer Sam handed her and went to get to know Jo Harvelle.