Title: Lost and Found

Chapter: 36

~~~~~~~~~~~

A severe case of nervousness assailed Castiel non-stop on the short journey to earth. I’m meeting God, he thought. I’m really meeting God.

He touched down and approached the park bench. He was right on time, but all he saw was Chuck sitting on that bench. His stomach churned and his hands were both shaking and sweating.

Chuck was bent over, forearms on his knees and gaze on the ground. He appeared deep in thought.

“Chuck?”

He looked up, squinting a little at the bright sunlight. “Hi, Cas.” He sat back, glancing at the clear blue sky and the lush foliage around the bench. “Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

“It is.” Confusion welled up inside him and he looked around for someone else, anyone else. There had to be someone besides Chuck here. “Have you seen anyone else?”

“Like who?”

“Like….” He looked away, disappointment zinging through him. Of course. Why should he have been so arrogant as to think he might really meet God face to face? “I never took Joshua for the practical joke type before.”

“Cas….” His voice changed as he continued, became deeper, more commanding. “Castiel. Child. Don’t you recognize me? Look at me.”

He looked…and fell to his knees as glory shone all around. Heat and light, peace and love encased him. It felt like those hugs Dean and others gave him, only complete. He felt…whole. God’s face was ever-shifting and yet fixed in features at the same time. “Have you been Chuck all along?”

God smiled wide. “No. Just when Chuck is enjoying time with the other prophets in heaven. Like…since the Apocalypse ended. There was no one to see him raised, so I borrowed his life for awhile.”

“Since the Apocalypse? Then, it was you….” No wonder Chuck had seemed ready to leave when he, Uzziel, and Abigael had gone to his house to take him to the wedding. It hadn’t been a surprise at all.

“At Dean and Jo’s wedding? Yes. Jo was beautiful and those vows were perfect.”

“There’s a real Chuck?” Seeing him as Chuck, he’d assumed…. What was that saying Dean told him about assuming? Something about a donkey?

“Of course. You’ve conversed with him several times.” He sat back on the bench, arms along the back of it, one ankle resting on opposite knee. “You may check, Castiel,” he said gently. “I won’t hide the prophet’s heavenly location from you any longer. Go on. Speak with Chuck. Ask him. Ask the others. They’ll confirm.”

“I believe you.”

He chuckled. “No, you don’t. You’re still afraid this is some elaborate practical joke at your expense or an illusion. See for yourself and then we’ll talk. I insist. To ease your mind.”

He found Chuck in heaven and in his own body, just like others. Chuck was willing to talk, glad to see him.

“Cas! Man! Good to see you! Do you believe this? Me. Here. I got a chance to talk to Elijah. Elijah! His bodily raising? Way cooler than mine. He got a chariot and horses of fire and I got more of a ‘beam me up, Scotty’ sort of thing, but he’s not snobby about it. He’s really a down to earth guy, you know?”

Chuck asked about Sam and Dean, then Ellen and Jo. Of course, it turned out he’d known all along that Zachariah had raised Ellen and Jo, but he’d also known he wasn’t supposed to mention it or hint that they were alive.

“Why,” Cas demanded, mildly horrified that Jo and Ellen had been left to go through even a portion of Zachariah’s plan for them.

“Well…. Not everything is revealed to prophets, Cas. When I write, I don’t reveal plot points until they’re relevant and, at the time, Ellen and Jo were no longer relevant. They’d played their roles. The end of the Apocalypse had to be told and it didn’t include Jo and Ellen.”

“Not relevant.”

“Yeah, I guess they are now though, huh?”

“If Dean had known Jo was alive --”

“Everything has a purpose. You know that. We just might not see it.”

A thing Uzziel said all the time. Uzziel kept trying to find the purpose in things that had happened, but was there really? What possibly could have been the purpose for any of what had happened?

He left Chuck there and returned to the park. There were so many things he wanted to ask and he couldn’t decide where to begin.

God patted the bench beside him. “Sit. Relax. I promise you this’ll be painless.”

Slowly, he sat, not too close, but not at the end of the bench. “Why?” It was a blanket word really, meaning every why question running through his mind. Why had Jo and Ellen had to go through death and Zachariah’s plan? Why had Dean had to go through the loss and pain of losing Sam and feeling worthless? Why had Sam had to be soulless and then deal with regaining his soul? Why had Raphael had to murder other angels? Why…. “Why appear now? Why leave me without some clear idea of your will this entire time? I’ve been floundering up there --”

“Castiel, I’ve been with you the entire time, watching you, observing, noting what you do with the free will gift. You followed my will. Why do you think you were given the gift of further life? I could have left you as cosmic dust, but you alone out of all of those have kept faith.”

“Not entirely,” he said in a low voice.

“You mean your bender? You were frustrated and emotional, but beneath it all, your faith was still there. It wasn’t time for you to sit with me and talk, but it is now. Anything you wish to discuss we can.”

But his mind remained stubbornly blank on where to really begin.

God sighed. “I can see it’ll take awhile for you to gather your thoughts. Therefore, let’s begin with the special job I have for you and for those angels you’ve discovered are exceptional. You and Uzziel have done a beautiful job thus far, but there are still a few minor changes that need to be made before the unveiling.”

“Unveiling?”

“Yes. The new department. Let’s talk…angel and human relations.”

As God spoke, Castiel forgot his nervousness and finally began to see how the pieces were fitting together.

~~~~~~~~~~

They didn’t leave as quickly as Dean had hoped and not because of either of the women. They were both ready. It was Sam who held them up, arranging and rearranging the trunk, going back in the house to bring out more weapons. The trunk was beginning to look like an armory -- more than usual anyway. While Dean was glad Sam was thinking things through, he was heading into extreme overkill.

Dean stepped beside him and contemplated the trunk. “Aren’t you ready yet?” He leaned over and moved a couple items, casting an inquiring glance up at him. “The Colt too, Sam? Really?”

He rested a hand on the trunk lid. “I just want to make sure we have everything we could possibly need to kill it.”

“I think you’ve covered that. There’s everything but the kitchen sink in here. Sure you don’t want to add that?”

“Depends. Would the kitchen sink work as a weapon? It’d be sort of bulky.”

He slapped Sam on the back. “Close it up. Let’s go. Burning daylight.”

With Jo’s need to pee every twenty minutes or thereabouts, Dean figured their time on the road was going to double. He thought they’d stop about every hour for Jo to stretch her legs (to help ward off varicose veins) and buy snacks (Jo claimed the baby needed to graze). The plan was to drive for the rest of the afternoon, stop for dinner and the night, and continue in the morning. He figured that after all of the stops they’d reach Battle Creek by tomorrow afternoon.

After that was the task of taking Ben home. Dean thought he and Jo would do it so Lisa wouldn’t feel overwhelmed. Taking Sam and Gwen as well might be a little too much for her to handle. They’d go to the door, wait to go in, and once Lisa had invited them inside to talk about it, they’d figure out what had sent Ben to him. Dean was still betting it was a new boyfriend or something like that. He wondered what had happened, why none of the men had worked out, and decided it didn’t really matter. It wasn’t his concern.

He glanced at Jo as they drove. Her current position pulled an amused smile from him. She’d wedged a little pillow behind the small of her back so she was leaning forward a fraction. Her doctor had mentioned she might find that having a pillow behind her back would help with any backaches she could get as her pregnancy progressed. Dr. Ames, a mother of three children herself, had been full of advice like that and so far, Dean thought she was a good choice. She’d answered their questions, even the ones he’d realized later had been stupid, and given them plenty to discuss and think about, like the necessity of prenatal vitamins. Dr. Ames said they were necessary. Jo disagreed. She’d force one down with a disgusted expression and melodramatic gagging noise. Had she remembered to bring those? He’d have to ask later.

Jo was writing on a legal pad. She smiled back at him and turned the legal pad, tapping one finger on it.

In glances, he read, ‘Talk to him. Be nice.’ Dean opened his mouth to protest that he’d been perfectly nice while having been upset, but Jo raised a finger at him and shook her head. He glanced in the rearview mirror. Ben was sitting with his arms crossed, staring out the window. “So. Ben. How was school this year?”

Ben looked at him, expression shifting into uncertainty. “Why do you care?”

He winced at the tone. “Because I do. How was school?”

From Ben’s reaction Dean would think he’d asked something unreasonable. He sighed heavily. “Fine.”

“That’s good. It is. Did you like it?”

“No.”

“Oh. Have a favorite class?”

“Yes.”

“What was it?”

“English.”

He thought a minute. This had been easier once. His conversational skills with Ben appeared to have diminished and he grasped at the next thought that came into his mind. “You on the baseball team?”

“No.”

No? He’d loved baseball. He’d really looked forward to practice and the games. What had happened to change that? “Why not?”

Ben snorted. “Because.” He rolled his eyes.

Hmm. One word sullen answers. Dean remembered giving those himself as a teenager. “Good talk, Ben.”

“Right.”

He shot a dark glance Jo’s way. It was hopeless. There was no way to get that kid talking.

In response, she rolled her own eyes as if to say he’d done it all wrong. She shifted position so she could turn and see Ben. “What was it you liked about English? The books? The writing?”

For a moment, Dean thought Ben was going to give her the silent treatment, but then he spoke.

“Both, but I like writing. We had to write a fifteen page story and mine was picked to get sent into a statewide contest. I didn’t win, but it was in the top five entries for my grade.”

“Wow. That’s pretty cool. What was your story about?”

She made it sound so easy to draw him out. This, this, was why she was going to be a great mom. Nurturing instinct, calm action in tense situations. Dean listened to the conversation as it progressed. While Ben seemed reluctant to talk to Jo, he was talking and giving her more than one word answers.

‘Relax’, she wrote on the pad.

He tried again. “I guess your tastes changed. Happens to everyone. What’s interesting to you now?”

“Paintball.”

“Paintball is fun.”

“I’m good at it, too. Tommy and I go to the paintball place on the weekends.”

“What happened to make you not like baseball anymore,” Jo asked in an innocent tone.

“How did you know I liked it? I could’ve been on the team because my mom made me.”

“Dean mentioned it. You know, he does occasionally mention you, Ben.” She tapped her finger on the word ‘relax’ again.

He glanced at Jo. What was she doing? He didn’t remember telling her that and he tried not to mention Ben or Lisa. Doing so might upset Jo and he didn’t want her upset any more than he wanted to be upset.

“He does?”

In the rearview mirror, he could see Ben’s gaze flicking between him and Jo.

“Of course. Dean wonders how you’re doing and all of that.”

“I do,” he interjected, receiving an approving nod from Jo.

“Then why doesn’t he ever call?”

“Out of respect for your mom,” Dean said, receiving another approving nod and beginning to understand what she was doing. She was diffusing tension, getting Ben out of the sullen mood he was in. “Maybe we could have handled the breakup better, but we decided it was best to have a clean break for all of us.”

“Oh.” He appeared to think that over. “I do still like baseball, but the team in Battle Creek sucks. The kids are all obnoxious and I didn’t like the coach. I like paintball.”

Jo wrote on the pad again and turned it so he could see it. ‘Apologize’ was written in big letters.

She wanted him to apologize? Didn’t he have every right to be upset? Ben had shown up without calling. Well….he’d tried calling. It had been Dean who hadn’t answered.

She tapped her finger on the page over and over.

He cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you earlier,” he said. “It surprised me when you showed up and I wasn’t expecting it.”

“I wouldn’t have had to come if you would’ve answered the phone to begin with.”

“That’s…that’s very true, but I….” How did he say he hadn’t answered because he’d been afraid it was Ben or Lisa? That wouldn’t do Ben’s self-esteem any good.

Jo looked over the seat at Ben. “Ben, Dean lost his phone and we’d decided to switch carriers anyway for a better plan. More minutes, more perks. We both had to get new numbers and it’s a big old mess.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Dean drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Amazing. From genial to snarling in a second. “You want to stop the attitude?”

“You’re not my dad.”

Jo sighed and abandoned her efforts, reaching for the tapes. “Let’s listen to some music.” She popped in the first tape she touched and they drove with the music loud enough to deter conversation for over an hour.

Dean pulled into the rest stop and turned off the car. A minute later, Sam and Gwen pulled up beside them. They were smiling and laughing as they left the car, obviously having a much better time thus far than Dean, Jo, and Ben were. Dean got out and went around to the passenger side.

Ben opened the door, gaze following Sam and Gwen as they walked over. “I want to ride with Sam and Gwen,” he blurted out. He slammed the door. “I really want to.”

Surprise slid over Sam’s face. He leaned against the car and slid his hands in his pockets. “It’s fine with me.”

“I don’t mind,” Gwen said, sliding an arm about Sam’s waist and resting her cheek against his arm. “Could be fun.”

“No. You’re staying right in that backseat where I can keep an eye on you.”

Jo closed the door and slid her hand into the crook of his elbow, giving a gentle tug. “Take a walk with me.”

He caught Sam’s attention and gestured at Ben with one finger. “Watch him. Jo and I are taking a walk.”

They strolled the rest area, Jo leading him slowly behind the building out of sight. Once they were hidden from view, she stopped him. “Let him ride with them.”

“Why?”

“Think a minute, Dean. Yes, he’d expected that you’d moved on, but to actually see and meet your wife, who is pregnant with your child? You lived with them for a year. You were a father to him for that long. What do you think his attitude is all about? He wasn’t prepared to see evidence that you’d moved on. And to sit in a car with us for hours, the both of us together? He’s hurting. He might even be thinking you’d forgotten about him.”

“That’s what the whole ‘Dean still thinks about you’ bit was for?”

“Yes. Not to mention it’s the truth. You do still think about him. About them.”

“I don’t,” he tried to deny, but Jo shook her head.

“Dean, it’s okay. I know you do. I think it’s normal. You have a history with them. It’s normal to wonder about people you were close to once. Let him ride with Sam and Gwen for awhile. Let him get to know Sam. I think he needs to see that Sam wasn’t the villain who ripped you away from him.”

“Jo.” He grasped her shoulders. “Honey, I love that you’re concerned for him when this whole situation has got to be hurting you, but --”

“I don’t particularly like that he showed up, no. I don’t like the situation at all. However, we’re in the middle of it and the only way to deal with it is to deal with it.” She gestured in the direction of the cars. “That kid over there has issues with how your year with them ended, it’s obvious. I think some of it can be fixed.”

“You’re so understanding.” And patient. She had patience in spades. He skimmed his hands down and around to her back.

Jo laughed and shook her head. “No, I’m not. That’s the thing, Dean. I really just want to put him on a bus, send him home, and forget all about him. Or let Sam and Gwen take him home. I don’t want to deal with this. We have our own things to deal with right now, we don’t need him too.”

“Why don’t we let Sam and Gwen take him? We’ll let them….” He swallowed hard. He already knew the answer to that. He’d said it himself back at the house. “Not their responsibility.”

“Nope. And I keep thinking…what if Ben’s right and Lisa is in danger? Can we turn our backs no matter what went on between you and how it ended? It wouldn’t be right. It’s against my personal oath as a hunter.”

“You have an oath?”

“Sure. Help the helpless in a way that’d make my dad proud.”

“That’s a good oath. Simple and to the point.”

“It is. Not helping if she needs help, even though I don’t want anything to do with her, would be wrong. I’d be ignoring my own oath and I can’t do that.”

“You know Ben’s manipulating you, right?” He raised his brows to punctuate the words. “Lisa isn’t in danger.”

“Maybe he is and maybe she isn’t, but it won’t hurt him to ride with them for awhile. Gwen’s good with kids, too. He’ll be okay with them.” She rested her hands on his ribs. “If Lisa isn’t in danger, this is a cry for attention, which means he needs help. And if she is in danger, it’s cry for help. Either way, that kid needs help. If it’s the former, we sit down with her and him and address whatever it was that sent him running across the country to you. If it’s the latter, we deal with it.”

“It’s not the latter. He’s done this before. Ben has a history of crying wolf.”

“Sure. I get that.” She nodded, sliding her hands up and to the back of his neck. “But even the boy who cried wolf really saw a wolf once and when no one believed him, the wolf killed him. What if she’s in danger?”

“She’s not and yes, I’m sure.” He pressed his forehead to hers for a few seconds.

“I’m glad you’re so certain, because I’m not. He’s scared of something and I don’t think it’s your temper or whatever punishment she’ll come up with. We deal with this and then it’s done, it’s over. We’ll be done with Lisa Braeden. If they want the name of a hunter in case something happens, we give them several referrals and insist they lose our number and Ben forget how to find us. Step back from this emotionally and look at it as a hunter, not a man upset because he has to see the ex he thought he’d put behind him.”

Dean closed his eyes and tried. Really he did. He couldn’t be objective. Opening his eyes again, he said, “I can’t, Jo. I can’t distance myself. I’m trying and it’s not working. The past is getting in the way.”

“Okay.” Her hands raised, cupping his face, thumbs sweeping across his cheeks in a slow caress. “Okay. I’ll tell you what I see. I see a boy terrified his mother is going to die and very afraid the one man he trusts to deal with the bad things won’t deal with it.”

“I’m not convinced Lisa is in any danger.”

“We’ll sort it out. It’s one or the other.”

She sounded so certain.

They ended up driving later than he’d planned, and when they did stop for the night, Sam and Gwen offered to go get pizza while Jo rested. Ben opted to go with them, giving Dean a chance to have a quiet moment with Jo. Ben really seemed to be warming up to Sam, a thing that surprised Dean, as Ben had been as standoffish towards Sam as Lisa had always been.

Jo put her pajamas on and laid on the bed, putting her feet up on the headboard. “You know this putting my legs up at night thing? Really helps with the water retention. I thought it was stupid at first.”

She didn’t have water retention, but if it made her feel better to put her feet up at night, he was all for it. He sat beside her. “You given any more thought to names?”

“Always. Chloe Elizabeth for a girl or Marion Phillip for a boy.”

“Marion? Really? Do you want him to get beat up?”

She laughed. “Dean!”

“Do you go through that name book and look for the names you know I won’t like? You do, don’t you? All of your combinations have been weird.”

“What are your top picks then-- and don’t say any form of Mary, John, Sam, Dean, Robert, Joanna, or Ellen this time.”

“I have nothing. No, wait. Josephus Augustus for a boy and Martika Sharona for a girl.”

She shook her head. “Now who’s going through the name book and choosing names at random?”

“We have plenty of time to pick a name.” He liked to tease her with strange names in odd combinations and suspected that was what she’d been doing. Surely she hadn’t been serious about Leslie Thomas for a boy? Or Persephone Marianna for a girl?

“I’d like to have it narrowed down to at least a couple different choices by blast-off.”

“We will. I’m kind of partial to Jack.”

“It’s a form of John, Dean.”

“Not an obvious one.”

“Jack, huh?” She gasped. “Feel it, feel it, feel it!” Delight lit Jo’s eyes and then she was pressing his hand firmly to her belly, a little to the side. Beneath his palm was a real push.

“Was that…?”

Jo grinned and laughed. “Yeah. Oh! He’s like really kicking hard, too!”

“Guess Jack is a winner then.” He shoved her shirt up and stared at the spot, rewarded after a moment by the actual sight of that extremity pushing at Jo. He ran a finger over it. “Hey, baby,” Dean whispered. “Don’t kick your mama too hard, okay?”

“It doesn’t hurt. Feels a little strange, but I think I’m already getting used to it.”

Leaning over, he pressed a kiss there, then laid beside her. “I can’t imagine missing this. I know I’ve missed a lot already by being out with Sam --”

“Sshh.” She put a finger to his lips, stopping the words. “You’re doing your job. It’s good you’re out there with Sam. It’s an important thing you’re doing and I don’t want it any other way, okay? Can we please move past this?”

Touching her cheek, he smoothed his fingers along her skin and tangled them in her hair. She was so beautiful. It seemed like she grew more so with each day that passed and it still amazed him that she was finally his. “Why did it take us so long, Jo?”

He knew why. Circumstances hadn’t been right and when she’d been ready he hadn’t. They’d simply not been in sync until her true memories had been returned to her.

“We had to find our right time, right place,” she replied.

They’d most definitely found it.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jo stayed awake after Dean fell asleep, unable to drift off. She didn’t want to meet Lisa, yet neither was she willing to let Dean go in alone. He needed a support system by his side to face that part of his past. Her stomach was upset and it wasn’t heartburn or any of the other fun things being pregnant could cause. It was pure nerves. Her mind kept going through all of the possibilities of what could happen during their meeting with Lisa. She imagined Lisa being a nice person, she imagined her saying something snide, and she imagined everything in-between, attempting to mentally prepare herself for anything. Dean and Sam’s views on Lisa were admittedly biased in Dean’s favor and while she was trying not to have a preconceived notion of how the woman was, it was too late. She already didn’t like her and just knew it was going to be mutual.

Please let it go easily, she prayed. Dean needs this to be easy.

She shifted onto her side. It was no longer possible to sleep on her stomach. Her belly had gotten too big for that to be comfortable anymore. Not that she was huge, because she wasn’t. Doctor Ames had said she was doing fine and it was only that she was petite to begin with that made her seem like she’d put on more weight than she should. She and the baby were exactly where they should be.

Dean liked the changing shape of her body, running his hands over her just as much, if not more, than he did before she’d gotten pregnant. Since coming to grips with her pregnancy, he’d thrown himself into learning what he could, reading the books she’d gotten from the library, spouting facts he’d read like it was fascinating stuff, and amusing everyone around them. She couldn’t wait for it to be over and the baby to be born. In her mind, she could see Dean holding their child, rocking him, caring for him….

She rolled back onto her back. There were so many decisions they had yet to make, from the birth to after. It was somewhat daunting how many decisions were involved in having a baby.

“Can’t sleep?” Sam’s voice came from the direction of the table, soft and low. He’d offered to stay up and make sure Ben didn’t sneak out or anything and Gwen would take the next watch at about three.

Jo got up carefully and joined him. “A little insomnia. It’s funny, you know? I’ve faced all sorts of creatures, come back from the dead and dealt with that, but I’m nervous about meeting her,” she admitted. “Out of all the things to be nervous about, that’s the one that gets me.”

He closed the lid on his laptop, frowning. “Why?”

“A lot of history between them.”

“A lot of history between you and Dean, too. More now in total days than what he spent with her.”

“I’m still nervous.”

“Don’t be.” He slid the laptop aside. “Dean’s got you now.”

“He was with her for a year.”

“But you’re the one he married. I think that speaks for itself.”

She put her chin in her hands and smiled at him. The words, spoken in such a calm, affectionate way, quelled her nerves. “Thanks, Sam.”

He returned her smile. “You’re my favorite sister-in-law.”

“I’m your only sister-in-law.”

“You’re still my favorite.” He crossed his arms on the table. “You and Dean work because you both share similar ideals and have a similar background. You get each other and what you have is good for both of you. You support him and encourage him in so many ways, Jo. He needs that.”

Reaching out a hand, she touching his arm. “I don’t do it alone, you know. You’re a big part of his life, too, and I’m very glad for that.”

“I’m glad Dean and I’ve mended things. It was bad for awhile, but we can laugh now and that’s a good thing.” He studied her, gaze growing serious. “I’ve been meaning to ask and you don’t have to answer…. What’s it like being pregnant?”

“Weird,” she answered promptly. “Um…. I don’t know, Sam. It’s…amazing. I have a tiny human being in my stomach. How strange does that sound? Dean and I actually made a person. A little him, a little me, mixed into a completely new person altogether. It’s an awesome responsibility. You know, my mom was totally right, too. The day I told Dean and he freaked out, I was freaking out myself.”

“I remember. You were pretty distraught.”

“She told me not to worry, that Dean would make the right decision and he’d be back soon.” Ellen had been certain, holding Jo, rocking her, insisting that Dean was going to do right in the end.

“And he was.”

“He was. I was worried I wouldn’t feel love for the baby because it wasn’t planned, but she said that once I feel the baby move, it’ll all rush over me and I’ll be so in love with this baby that that’s it. She was right. I love this baby.” She touched her stomach, smoothed her shirt over it. “Boy or girl doesn’t matter, though I wouldn’t mind a boy with Dean’s eyes and his mischievous grin.”

“Hate to break it to you, Jo, but he’s hoping for a girl.”

“I know. Tries to hide it, but I think he’s picturing a little girl in a frilly little dress running up to him and holding out her arms, yelling, ‘Daddy!’ for him to pick her up. I thought he’d want a son. Don’t most guys want a son? Wouldn’t you want a son? Hypothetically. If you and say, Gwen, someday…. Wouldn’t you want a boy?”

He grinned and looked over to where Gwen was asleep. He no longer flinched when kids were mentioned and Jo wondered if that had to do with the talk he and Gwen had had. “Um…hypothetically, I guess a boy would be fine, but girls are unknown territory. Honestly, I think Dean just wants a little girl because he thinks she’ll be like you.”

Jo snorted. “Heaven help us if we do. I was a holy terror. I certainly wouldn’t want a kid like I was. I got in more trouble for the strangest things.”

Sam laughed. “You, Jo? I just don’t see that.”

She nodded. “Ask my mother. She’ll gladly regale you with stories of my stubbornness as a little girl and continue her stories all the way up to the present. Some things I’m never going to live down.”

“Aren’t you scared? I don’t mean just about the birth, but about all of it?”

“Hell yeah. With as many ways as it’s possible to screw up a kid? I’m terrified and Dean’s putting on a good front, but he’s just as terrified as I am.” She shifted position. “Are you really checking out a lead on a case tomorrow?”

“Family lives in a suburb of Chicago. We’ll pass right by. I can stop in, talk to them, and meet you in Battle Creek perhaps an hour maybe two at most behind you. Although between Dean’s obsessive stops every hour and his lead foot, I may actually beat you all there.”

“You’re on the witch case.”

“I am.” He nodded. “I’ve got all but a little bit put together, a couple things I’m not clear on.” He jerked his head towards the bed. “You should try to sleep. You’re going to need your strength for when the meeting with Lisa is over and Dean tries to send you and Gwen home while we finish this case.”

“You think he will?”

“Oh, I know he will.” The way he said it was like he knew without one single doubt.

“Sam?”

“Try to sleep, Jo, okay?”

She got back into bed and when she woke up it was to Gwen complaining that Sam hadn’t woken her for her shift. He’d stayed up the entire night, watching over all of them.

~~~~~~~~~~

The past hours had been a revelation to Ben in many ways. The first was that seeing Dean as someone else’s family hurt. It really hurt, as in physical pain in his chest. Ben still thought of Dean as the father he wanted -- he was cool, had a cool job, and Ben still wanted to be like Dean.

He slid into the booth beside Jo and picked up a menu to study. Gwen slid beside him and Sam sat beside her and across from Dean.

“That’s all you’re planning on eating?” Dean glanced at Jo. “Fruit?”

“I’m not that hungry this morning, Dean.”

“You feeling okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Sure the baby doesn’t want anything?” He quirked a brow, his tone teasing. “They’ve got Belgian waffles.”

Her smile was affectionate. “The baby isn’t communicating any particular wants at present, although he’s going to want cheese popcorn at the next gas station we stop at.”

“Sure it isn’t mommy that wants it?”

Jo made a noise of protest. “Dean, that hurts. I’m trying to nourish our child here. How can I say no to cheese popcorn?”

“Cheese popcorn it is. Did you take your vitamin?”

“Yes, Dean, I took my horse pill.”

“You need to put your feet up?”

Jo rolled her eyes. “No. I don’t have to pee, don’t need a nap since I just woke up, and I’m not thirsty, though orange juice sort of does sound good right now. Maybe I’ll have that.”

Ben stayed as quiet as possible. The second revelation was that Dean was different with Jo than he’d been with Ben’s mom. He was relaxed and the emotion on both their faces when they looked at each other reminded Ben of the way his grandparents looked at each other. They really loved each other and Ben was uncomfortable, feeling very much like an outsider despite how they all tried to make him feel at ease.

“You’re sure you took the vitamin?”

“Dean.”

“Just checking.” His gaze turned to Ben, a serious air falling over him. “How long before Lisa realizes you’re not on that camping trip?”

“Several days. I made sure to wait until they were leaving before talking to them so they wouldn’t have called the house.”

Dean poured more coffee into his cup. “What kind of group was it? Boy Scouts?”

“No, it was a father-son group. My dad had cancelled anyway, but I still could’ve gone.”

“Your dad?” Dean was surprised and looked a bit shocked. “When did he….”

“He showed up a few months ago wanting legal rights to see me. He and mom are in the middle of a legal battle over it. They argue on the phone all the time. He lives a couple hours away.”

“He just showed up?”

“Yeah. I’ve got a half-sister and she’s kind of cool.”

“Step-mom?”

“No, she died in a car accident years ago.” He wasn’t supposed to know how his dad had originally taken the DNA test and run off when the results had come in. Nor was he supposed to know about how his dad had decided he’d wanted to get to know his son after all. There were a lot of things he wasn’t supposed to know.

“What’s he do?”

“He’s a paramedic I think.”

“That’s an intense job,” Sam said. “Is that why he cancelled?”

“I don’t know. Mom just said he wasn’t coming to pick me up.” Ben turned his attention fully to Sam, dismissing thoughts of his dad. Sam was a nice guy, like seriously nice. Yet another revelation. He still wasn’t sure he liked him. Sam had been the reason Dean had left. His mom had said. Sam had come back and Dean left. The nicer Sam was, the guiltier Ben felt for having disliked him without having really met him.

He’d sort of liked riding with Sam and Gwen. They included him in the conversations and didn’t treat him like a kid. They’d made the hours fun.

Jo was nice, too. Ben wanted to hate her. He wanted to despise her. She was where his mom had been in Dean’s life only with a permanency to it Lisa hadn’t had. Dean had committed to Jo in a way he never had to Lisa. Yet Ben couldn’t hate Jo and felt more than a little disloyal to his mom because of that. He shouldn’t like the woman who’d replaced her.

Still…. Jo was cool. She and Gwen both. They were both women hunters and must kick serious monster ass if they’d stayed alive in it their entire lives. It was awesome that women could do the job. Why hadn’t he realized it before? Of course a woman could be a hunter! He thought Tommy was going to love hearing that. She liked this stuff, too. Maybe someday they could be hunters together, slaying monsters and saving the world.

Dean would hate that. He didn’t want Ben to do that. Ben frowned with a sudden thought, glance falling on Jo’s stomach. Was Dean going to let the baby grow up hunting? After all, Jo was a hunter, too, and it didn’t sound like she planned to retire from it completely to be a mom.

He ordered the chocolate chip pancakes, his introspective bent continuing.

There was more to what had happened between his mom and Dean than he knew about. That was obvious now. There had been more to cause their break than Sam coming back into Dean’s life. Yes, Sam had asked Dean to hunt. Yes, Dean had gone. Both were facts. But Sam didn’t seem selfish and inconsiderate. In fact, he appeared to be the very opposite of that and not what Ben had ever expected at all.

“Ben?”

He looked up to find his food had come and Sam was leaning over, syrup container in hand. “Syrup on those,” he asked, proffering the spouted jar.

“Yeah.” He took it, then nodded. “Thanks, Sam.”

He saw Dean and Jo exchange a baffled glance and spent the rest of the meal carefully concentrating on his food.