Title: The Curse of Bittersweet Kisses
Chapter 31
Notes: Since S8 hasn’t aired yet, and little is known of Purgatory, I’m making up my own details for it.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel began to list his sins in his mind. Lying, stealing souls, murder…. “I was wrong.”

“I was peaceful, you know. Had been for a very long time. Hung up my battle hat centuries ago and avoided killing. All I wanted to do was to live and retire on earth in peace. I didn’t hurt anyone and you killed me, took in my soul with all the rest and….” She shrugged. “I guided the others, but really, all I want is revenge on you.”

“Revenge gets you killed,” he warned.

“As long as I can take you with me.”

“Eleanor Visyak?” Dean appeared in the doorway and Castiel let a small relieved sigh slip free. “Is that you?”

Sam stepped in the cabin as well and Castiel was relieved that they were both there, already back from taking Constance’s body from the cabin.

She turned her head, acknowledging them there. “I was her at one time. I liked being her. She had a good life, but what life can I have like this?” She gestured at herself. “I can’t pass for human anymore. He took that from me.”

“You could always wear a burka,” Dean suggested. “They’re pretty covering.”

“Are you making a joke at my expense, Dean?” Incredulity colored her voice. “I’m completely serious.”

“So am I. There’s ways you could deal with this and killing him isn’t one of them.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Sam told her. “But if you hurt one of ours, I will pull you out of your host. It’ll kill you, and I don’t mean send you back to Purgatory. You’ll be gone and you’ll never live again.” His slow words lent the odd sensation of time drawing out to this exchange. It felt like they had all the time in the world to deal with this, when Castiel knew there could only be minutes. Sam didn’t raise his hand, or indicate in any way how he could pull her from the host body.

“Maybe it’s better that way. I can’t live the way he changed me.”

“You can’t? Or you don’t want to? See, there’s a difference between the two.” Dean cocked his head. “Can’t means it’s impossible and that’s not true, Ellie. It’s possible. Difficult, but possible. What you mean is that you don’t want to.”

“I didn’t know,” Castiel told her. If he’d known what pulling all those souls inside him would do, would he still have done it? Unfortunately, yes. He’d been high on the god-like power that doing that had afforded him. He’d craved that power and the freedom he’d thought he’d have in it. He’d thought power would solve all his problems, Raphael being the number one problem. And so it had solved them, but added more. “I had no idea.” He dropped to his knees. “I’m sorry.”

“I want him to suffer, Dean.” She took a few steps back towards Dean. “Can you understand that? I want him to feel every bit of pain I felt when he cut me open.”

Dean took a slow step closer, hands raised. He was carrying the demon killing knife. “Hey, I totally get wanting Castiel to feel pain. I do. I know where you’re coming from.”

“Don’t patronize me.”

“I’m not. But revenge is a bad road to go down. Sam and I, we know a lot about that and what it does to someone. We grew up in that cycle.”

She pressed a fist to her chest. “I’m changed forever. Do you understand that? I’ve been made different on a fundamental level.”

Sam took a step closer now. “Out of everyone in this camp, Jimmy and I are probably the ones who understand about that the most.”

“Jimmy?” She shook her head with a confused frown. “Who is Jimmy?”

Castiel looked at her. “He means me.”

Her gaze turned thoughtful. “Explain that. Why is he calling you Jimmy, Castiel?”

“Because I’m…the vessel. Castiel’s, but he’s still here. He….” He shrugged, letting more of himself slip free, setting aside Jimmy’s mannerisms and way of speaking. He spoke to her as himself. “I was an angel, then corrupted. Souls from hell aided in that transformation. I’m positive Crowley gave me souls that were nearly turned to demons. I changed, began to exhibit questionable behavior and choices, and changed further when I took in all those souls from Purgatory. Monster souls made me a monster and finally, I’m none of those things now. I’m human, with human desires, regrets, pains, and fears. I’ll never be myself again. Divine judgment has fallen upon me. So kill me if you can. You might not be able to, I don’t know. Nothing ever fatal seems to happen to me. All I have are close calls. I’m to spend my days mired in the terrible consequences my actions have brought. I also suspect the Fates have been given license to torment me.” He licked his lips, tilted his head to one side. “Atropos would enjoy that. I plotted to kill her at one point.”

He saw both Sam and Dean’s eyes narrow and knew this was the beginning of the end for him. Soon, they’d put all the pieces together and maybe he would be ready to meet Death after all. He was tired of lying to them all.

“How did you get in the camp, Ellie?” Dean moved to the table and set the demon killing knife down on it. “We’ve got it --”

“Pretty secure,” she interrupted. “I found a tiny opening on the west end by the water. Your wire has pulled free. A large animal probably.”

Unclipping the walkie-talkie from his belt, Dean raised it. “Howard, get a couple guys out to the west by the water. We’ve got a breach. Plug it up before anyone finds it.”

Her attention returned to Castiel, a cool, hard stare.

“How did you plan to make him suffer,” Sam asked her.

“My equally disgruntled friends outside. We’ve been waiting. Meg was so obsessed with him that we knew she’d find him for us. I knew she’d find him. We didn’t need to expend much effort on that front and could plan our attack on him.”

“You planned to take him from Meg, didn’t you?” Sam edged closer opposite Dean. “You were going to let her take him out of here, then take him from her.”

“Yes, but with her dead, our plan has to change. My plan has to change.”

“And then?” Dean crossed his arms. “What were you going to do to him?”

“Be one with him again.”

“You mean cram as many of you inside his body as you could until he exploded,” Dean translated.

“Figuratively. Or literally. Either would suffice. We’ve been experimenting and we know we can get up to one thousand in, perhaps more if we try really hard.”

“Your plan now?”

She considered the question. “Possess him and take him outside your camp to be dealt with.”

Castiel removed his silver ring and leaned his head back, exposing his throat. “Whenever you’re ready, Eleanor. Sam, Dean. You should stand aside. This could be bad. Perhaps you should go outside?” He felt sick to his stomach, like he could throw up any second. “Should I open my mouth or does that matter?” Technically, this was the same plan he’d been following for Meg.

“You’re not even going to fight,” the creature that had been Eleanor asked. His apparent willingness to give himself up to her visibly threw her and he thought she seemed a little reluctant to follow through with her plan now that she was here. Dean and Sam would fight for those they considered their own and she knew that.

“No. I deserve death. I fully acknowledge it. I’m ready.” He wasn’t ready. In fact, he was more scared than he’d ever been in his entire existence.

“And when you’re done with him,” Sam demanded suddenly. “What then? You’ll just take the rest of them and leave us all alone? There’s an army right outside, Ellie, and we’ve seen what your kind can do. Are you sure you can control them?”

The strange sensation of time having slowed down continued, seconds stretching into minutes.

She didn’t answer, moving to grip Castiel’s jaw with cool, strong fingers. His head was forced back so far that it hurt his neck.

“This isn’t you.” Dean was nearly to her now, having slowly stepped closer through the conversation. “You’re not like the rest. We know that.”

“Think about this plan, Ellie.” Sam was closer as well. “Really think about it, then think about your army.”

Her swallow was a loud gulp and when she spoke, it sounded like she was on the verge of tears. “He made me like them.”

“You don’t have to be a monster or a killer.” Sam kept his attention on her. “It’s a choice. I know it’s hard. Believe me, I know. Don’t make us have to kill you. You can still turn this around, Ellie. Help us. Save us.”

“Bobby would never believe it to see you now.” Dean said it in a regretful tone.

She flinched at that. “They’ll kill me. I led them here after her and to tell them they can’t have their revenge would be my death.”

“You were willing to die a moment ago,” Dean reminded her. When she didn’t say anything, he tried again. “Ellie, I have a newborn daughter. She’d not even a week old yet. You can keep her from getting hurt.”

She shook her head, eyes squeezed shut. “Damn it! That’s just the sort of appeal Bobby would have made to me….” She turned her attention to Dean. “Is Bobby here? Is he guarding your daughter?”

“Bobby’s dead, Ellie.” He kept saying her name, a reminder of her former self. “The church of Castiel killed him, but we think it may have been after they were under Meg’s control.”

Her features went stony, then her lower lip trembled and Castiel saw her desire for revenge fade. “Dead. Seems wrong to me that he’s gone.” Her hand dropped from Castiel’s face.

“We know.” Dean put an arm around her and his other moved, hand pressing the knife to her stomach. Castiel hadn’t noticed him pick it back up from the table, though he obviously had. “Do I have to kill you?” He turned his head, staring down at her. “I don’t want to. Bobby liked you. He sent me to see you when the dragons showed up. Do I have to push this knife in and see what it does to you? Or will you fight to be who you were before…or as much of her as you can be now? Know that if I have to kill you and you stop me, Sam can still pull you out of this body and burn you into nothingness. You will die today. You reach for Jimmy, and either I kill you or Sam does.”

She sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I want him dead, Dean. I still do.”

“Like I said before, I fully understand. I’ve been there. Will you help us?”

Ellie transferred her gaze to Castiel. “You’re suffering?”

“He hates being human. Probably hates it more this time than last time because it really is forever for him.” Dean lowered the knife.

“Good,” she spat, then looked up at Dean. “How do you think I can help you?”

“You can start by telling us how to defend ourselves against your kind.”

Castiel slowly relaxed, leaning back against the footboard. He didn’t think he could stand if he tried, his legs feeling like they were made of jelly. Two threats gone, presumably a third as well, and he was exhausted. All he wanted to do was lie down and sleep for hours. As an angel, he’d taken his strength and healing ability for granted, but as a human, he was left wondering how Dean and Sam did this on a daily basis, for he’d found himself lacking.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes, Dean hated being right. If it wasn’t one thing, it was always another and Eleanor Visyak was that other thing right now. He did his best to diffuse the situation, mildly surprised when she did react how he’d thought she would in the end. He’d never thought her to be a killer. She’d proved as helpful as Bobby had thought she’d be. “Meg said she can control you, put you back in Purgatory or take you out. How?”

Pulling away, she sank down onto the side of Castiel’s bed. “Meg lied about a second door. The only way back into Purgatory aside from the door my blood helped to open is by dying and returning there. At least, those were the only ways we knew of. We’d been trying various rituals, but we did stumble on one that’ll help you protect your people here. Do you have paper and a pen?” With paper and a pen, she drew a symbol. “This works like a devil’s trap and it’s just as binding.”

“Okay.” He handed the paper to Sam. “Go make copies and get people on it?”

“Sure.” Sam left the cabin.

“Walk across camp with me.”

“Is that an order?”

“Strong suggestion.”

The faint hint of a smile turned her lips. “Very well.”

He took her to the infirmary, not missing how she shied back at first glimpse of the structure.

Ellie eyed the roof. “You can get a good start protecting them by finding a ton more of those and placing them along the fence line. I must say, though, that four is sufficient for any building. You merely need one per direction. There are enough for about three buildings up there.”

“They’re just plastic,” Dean told her, watching her reaction carefully. Just because she’d been Bobby’s girlfriend at one time didn’t mean she wouldn’t screw them over. She could still do so at any time.

Her glance held slight amusement. “Maybe so, but they’re also the image of the Keepers of the Borders in Purgatory. They’re like hellhounds. They primarily guarded Mother, though some packs were allowed to run free to police the rest of us. They have red eyes and deadly claws tipped with poison. Some are winged and fly, however most are land-bound. They’re fast and anyplace guarded by them is considered off-limits.”

Interesting. “How big is Purgatory?”

“How big is the earth? Or hell?” She shrugged. “Like earth, every thing has it’s prey and predator. The Keepers were the big dog on campus so to speak. None of us wanted to run into any of them. They can’t be kept as pets except by Mother and with her gone now…they’ll be running free in Purgatory with no one to keep them in hand. Being in Purgatory got a lot more dangerous for everyone when you killed Mother, Dean.”

“She was going to do some bad things. Had to.” He gestured at the roof again. “You’re sure it’ll keep them back?”

“Yes. Not many are brave, or stupid enough, to risk it. The real ones can look fairly lifeless and plastic when they choose.”

They stood for long moments, Ellie turning her back on the building as they talked, working out a plan for her to use when she left the camp. After a long moment of silence, he added, “You know, the offer to kill you still stands if you screw us over, Ellie.”

“I know. Who discovered the use for the gargoyles?”

“Ellen did. That’s Jo’s mom.”

“Who’s Jo?”

He ignored her question. “What else can you tell us?”

Sighing, she slid her hands in her jeans pockets. “The ones like me who’ve taken hosts will keep them until they’re sent back to Purgatory. Usually. We’re loyal to our hosts and take care of them. It’s a symbiotic relationship.”

He didn’t tell her what he thought of that relationship.

“The others, and I mean all of them, can be treated like hell demons. They’ll all disfigure their hosts, but only the lowest will drive them mad. The others will merely put their hosts in a catatonic state when they leave them, the bodies reverting to a human appearance. Meg thought your knife and the gun, the Colt, could kill them as well as hell demons. She also thought that whatever we are damages the human body, making it impossible for hell demons to take a host that one of us has had.”

“We knew that last one already.” At her questioning glance, he elaborated. “Crowley was in a sharing mood.” Crowley had had the Colt. He wondered where it was now and who was going to have it.

“I see. Did he also tell you that we can possess a body that already has a hell demon inside it?”

“He did not.” That upped them in the dangerous category. “A demon possessed by a demon. How nice.”

“It also makes that hell demon unable to leave the body once my kind leaves. The body is changed around them, locking them inside.”

Now that was definitely useful information. “Can they be exorcised?”

“Us or them?”

“Sure.”

She laughed. “Dean. My kind aren’t from hell, so unless you have an exorcism ritual geared towards Purgatory, my kind can’t be exorcised. The demons locked inside can’t be either. Good news, though. They can’t gain control any more than the host can so basically, they’re catatonic, too.”

“That could be messy.” How would they tell which catatonic people had hell demons inside them?

“This won’t be an easy war for you. I’m sorry I can’t tell you more. You appear to know about silver and iron, however, and they’re your biggest weapons against us.”

“Don’t you mean it won’t be for us? You’re in this with us.”

She nodded. “Remember, Dean, that while we may seem like the bigger threat, we’re not. We’re finite in number and can’t escape Purgatory once we’re put back there. You can win this if you can hold out.”

“Big if.” The voice came from behind them. It was Jimmy. “Castiel emptied Purgatory. That’s billions of monster souls. The odds are against us.”

“They always are,” Dean quipped, looking over his shoulder at him. “It’s nothing new. She’s right. They’re a threat because of sheer numbers. With her help though, I think we can do some damage if they try to come here.”

Ellie watched him a long moment. “The lowest have short memories. They’ll be back to driving people mad very shortly.” She glanced around the camp. “Well, I’ll head out like we discussed, tell them she was given wrong information, that it was a trap to kill her. I’ll lead them away and try to keep them away. It might work and give you time to take care of those matters I suggested.”

As she moved down the path towards the gate, he gave orders to let her leave.

“You’re just letting her go,” Jimmy asked.

“Sometimes Jimmy, you have to gamble that the monster isn’t a threat to you.”

Dean strode towards the infirmary to tell everyone there what had happened.

~~~~~~~~~~

Every word Dean said now made it seem like he knew the truth and Castiel waited on the path, sitting on one tree stump. Jody was the first to join him, then Sam, and finally Dean. The meeting was informal, Dean asking each of them for thoughts on how to proceed. Jody suggested they reinforce the fence and start adding the gargoyles to the fence line as they’d talked about. Sam added that some should be moved from the infirmary roof to their cabin roof and Dean had agreed. The symbol Ellie had given them would be added to the cabins and they’d beef up patrols for a few days.

They each received assignments. Dean was going to be just as busy as the rest of them.

Mindy approached, moving slowly to stand at Castiel’s side as Dean, Sam, and Jody finished up. He felt her hand on his arm, then his back, sliding in soothing passes back and forth. She waited patiently until Jody had moved towards the gate and Dean and Sam the infirmary.

Stepping even closer, she raised her free hand and pushed his hair from his brow. “You’re welcome to come stay with me tonight. I’ve only got that twin bed, but it’s not like we’ve never done that before.”

He considered the offer with all seriousness. The concern in her eyes made emotion rise inside him and he swallowed hard. “I can’t let the demon drive me from my cabin. She’s dead.”

Her fingers swept across his cheek. “I understand.” She dropped her hand, though her other still moved across his back. “Want some company now?”

“Can’t. Dean gave me some jobs to do.” They were oddly physical ones, too, which surprised him since he was all thumbs with tools. Maybe Dean thought if he had practice he’d be better with them?

“I’ll let you get on those then. If you change your mind, I’ll be with Ellen most of the afternoon.”

He spent the day attempting to perform those tasks Dean had assigned him and feeling completely inadequate in them. Removing many of the gargoyles they’d enthusiastically added to the infirmary roof wasn’t so bad, but putting them on the roof of Dean and Sam’s cabin was much harder for him. He did his best, putting in a long day before returning to his cabin.

Castiel sat down in the middle of the rug and stared at his bed. He’d forgotten to deal with the bed and had no energy left to go get clean sheets and a blanket. He was contemplating curling up on the rug and sleeping when a knock sounded at his door.

“Who is it,” he called warily. Caution was warranted after the events of the day.

“It’s Mindy. May I come in?”

He sighed and shifted position to face the door. “Of course.”

She had a large paper shopping sack in her arms, setting it on the small drop-leaf table by the wall. “Cooking team said you missed dinner.” Her hair was long and loose down her back and, despite the chilly air, she wasn’t wearing a jacket.

“I’m tired,” he explained.

“I’ll bet.” She rested one hand on her hip. “Fear is draining. Been there.”

Fear was draining, especially for a human body. “It is.”

“And then you worked hard all day on top of it.”

“I suppose.”

“Well, I brought you a sandwich, since I know you hardly keep any food here.”

“Mindy….”

“It’s peanut butter and loganberry jam, made the way you like it with peanut butter on both slices and the jam dropped between them. It’s even crunchy peanut butter.” Taking a container from the bag, she held it out, her manner coaxing. “Bread is fresh. Sliced it myself.”

“Crunchy,” he repeated. “With lots of jam?” He’d discovered that he had a regrettable sweet tooth half the time and loganberry jam seemed to curb it.

“How you like it.”

Getting up, he went to the table and sat down, taking the container from her and opening it. She set a bottle of water and a small bag of carrot and celery sticks on the table. Castiel ate a bite, then asked, “What else is in the bag?”

“Sheets and a couple blankets. I figured you’d forget to change everything once you got started working outside.”

Mindy made the bed while he ate. Once the bed was made, she crossed her arms and contemplated the space. “Mind if I move your furniture around?”

“Help yourself. Where are you moving it?”

“Mmm…. Places in this room so that earlier today will be just a bad faint memory.”

It occurred to him that she was trying to help him through it, like it was a traumatic experience. Castiel munched on a celery stick and pondered that thought. Was it traumatic? Was being pursued by a demon the sort of thing that deserved the gentle care she was showing? By two demons, he corrected himself.

Yes.

He blinked.

It was. He had had a traumatic day. “You’re spoiling me,” he said carefully.

“Yes, but after the day you had you deserve to be pampered.” She turned down the sheets and came back to the table. He could smell her perfume when she bent over and pressed a kiss near his ear. She had a freshly washed clean scent.

“Mindy….”

“Wash up,” she ordered in a whisper, moving to lay out a towel in front of the wash basin and set a washcloth on the stand. “I plan on spoiling you more.”

The slow striptease she performed while he washed was rousing, his body responding quickly to the tempting visual stimuli. The human body really was a beautiful thing, especially a woman’s body, and hers was perfectly proportioned in his opinion.

Mindy climbed onto the bed. “Don’t keep me waiting too long,” she said with a smile. The seductive pose she struck had him hurrying to join her. He let her take control like he usually did. Her kisses were coaxing, her caresses sending pleasure through him. Mindy’s skin was warm and silky beneath his hands, her body pliant, and her perfume a welcome delicate scent.

He let his eyes slip shut as she began to kiss a path down his chest, stomach, and lower. His breath caught in his throat and he took a brief second to reflect on just how well sexual activity could relieve tension before he gave himself over to the act.