Title: That Old Illusion of Free Will

Chapter: Seven

~~~~~~~~~~

Jimmy staggered a little when Castiel left him, feeling like his legs were about to collapse. He took a slow breath, fighting a wave of disorienting dizziness. “I thought that would get easier,” he gasped. He’d assumed he’d become used to that moment, but it seemed to be more difficult every time. Jimmy thought it’d be easiest overall if Castiel never left him, but then he wouldn’t have this life with Jo. It was a trade-off. A life with the occasional physical discomfort or no life at all? A no-brainer really. He wanted a life.

“It won’t,” Gabriel assured him, sitting down in the recliner and leaning back, putting the footrest up. “It’s hard on vessels to leave them and return all the time. Most angels don’t bother with the whole process…. Didn’t,” he corrected himself. “Most didn’t bother. Of course, you’re aware of the overall attitude towards humans, so not leaving a vessel was more for our convenience than any sense of ease on humans. Vesseled up, we could drop down to earth whenever we had to. It won’t ever get easier for you, so unless you want to be a full-time vessel and leave this half life behind, you’ll have to deal with it the best you can.” He gestured at the couch. “Have a seat, Jimmy. I’ve got some news for Jo that we need to decided how and when to tell her.”

He practically collapsed onto the couch stretching his legs out and letting his hands lay limp at his sides. “What is it?”

“Her mom’s alive and kicking as well.”

“What?” That made Jimmy’s head clear fairly fast. “Her mom’s alive? Where?”

“Where else would Ellen Harvelle be but hanging out with Bobby Singer?”

Jo’s mother alive. That brought forth some interesting possibilities for the future. Jimmy hadn’t actually met his new mother-in-law in person. What he knew of her came from Castiel and Jo. He wondered if he’d like Ellen when they finally did meet. Would she like him? She and Jo had been so close that he wanted to like Ellen and have her like him. He’d been lucky with Amelia’s family. They’d accepted him right away as family. “She’ll want to see her.” From the things Jo had said, he suspected it was going to take awhile for him to get on Ellen’s good side.

“Give me awhile to figure out how. I need to come up with a plan. She and Ellen aren’t supposed to interact yet. They’d become a team there by Carthage, but it’s not good for them to be joined at the hip like they were. It’s time for them to have separate lives, different paths. Don’t mention it yet.”

By the time Jo returned, Gabriel had gone and Jimmy resigned himself to wearing the bracelet. He’d wear it because Jo wanted him to.

~~~~~~~~~~

Gabriel was bored of hiding. He’d been hiding out for a very long time anyway and it was becoming tedious. He didn’t feel like dealing out justice to deserving pompous schmucks and watching Jimmy and Jo wasn’t exactly exciting or entertaining most days.

The direction being taken with them was unusual. He couldn’t recall any time in history where they’d literally trapped a couple together for any length of time.

It was what he’d been told to do. Keep them there.

He sat at his usual table at the bar, nursing a drink as he thought about Jimmy, Jo, himself, and how things had turned out.

Dead was supposed to be dead, even for the angels. Even for the archangels. Yet here they all were, alive. Castiel and Jimmy, Jo, himself, and more. Dean and Sam. Bobby and Ellen. Like he’d told Castiel, it was a big club.

He’d actually assumed at first that the vessel Jo was to interact with was Dean Winchester. After all, she was a friend of Dean’s. Why not him? The vessel line situation. Genetics. She wasn’t genetically compatible with Dean to further that archangel line and the lines had to be furthered.

As for Dean, it didn’t surprise him that Dean was back hunting. Zachariah had once shown him -- and Sam both-- that he’d always return to the life. Hunting was a part of him that couldn’t be denied. It was Dean’s calling in human life to be a hunter of the big bad things of the world and protect the average human.

The last of those to be pulled from death was Sam. His ultimate sacrifice had been rewarded and he’d tried to leave Dean alone, living the life he’d finally embraced.

At least, that was what Gabriel thought was happening. He hadn’t actively looked for either of them.

A man came into the bar and approached the bartender. Gabriel was struck by how familiar he seemed. Slender, bearded. He heard the bartender call him ‘Chuck’. The name didn’t ring any bells however -- except in a very vague way. After a moment of observing him, he returned to his musings, this time thinking about Castiel.

He snorted in amusement. If Zachariah were around, he’d be livid to know that Castiel had gotten the job he’d been gunning for: administrator over all heaven. His changes were causing quite a stir. Had to be. To say that angels didn’t like change was understating the issue. Many were set in their ways and change would both irritate and frighten, especially change that wasn’t going to lead straight to paradise.

He wondered if the cap on Castiel’s emotions had been lifted with his promotion. He’d moved up enough classes that he was close to Gabriel’s own official rank and since he himself could feel if he chose….

Gabriel shuddered.

He’d been letting himself feel far too much of late. Castiel had hit it right on the nose and it hurt to admit it. He was hiding now just as much as he’d been hiding before his death, using that initial tether to the town as an excuse to stay. That Castiel could overcome that fear while being of lower rank made him feel embarrassed by his decision to hide. He needed to suck it up, get over himself, and head back out.

Shamed by a youngster, he thought. What is the world coming to?

The man he’d noticed joined him without asking, setting a drink in front of him. “Hello, Gabriel. I believe this is your favorite drink?”

With a blink, recognition washed over him, tears coming to his eyes. “Father.” He wiped those tears away with a hand.

“Please, call me Chuck. I’m incognito at present.” He took the chair beside Gabriel. “Well, it’s quite a problem you created with our lovely couple, isn’t it? Do you realize that if you’d done as you were asked and hadn’t interfered, Jimmy and Jo would have reached this point on their own and without the added drama?”

“I do.” Gabriel stared into his drink rather than look at his father. He was prompted to confess the way he’d been of late, the words spilling forth. “I was…” he gulped, “…prideful, arrogant, disobedient, willful, uncaring. I’m sorry. Everything I’ve tried to do here has gone wrong and when I try to fix it, I’ve made matters worse.”

“Why is that? You know the reason.”

“I assumed I knew better. I ignored orders and I am sorry.”

“I know you are. It does please me that you didn’t choose those options you initially considered that tampered with time, nor the ones you thought of later. Time isn’t a catch-all fix, Gabriel, and even as much as you see, you still don’t see the full ramifications of your actions. Only I can see it all.”

It was difficult to remember that sometimes. He was able to see quite a ways into the future, but there was a point his knowledge simply stopped. It was a fact. “So what now?” He hoped for instructions; for something more than Castiel’s request for aid; for perhaps an official mission aside from the one he’d been given upon his resurrection.

“You’re free to go. You have been for awhile. Tell me, Gabriel, why did you stay? Be honest.” His father (Gabriel simply couldn’t think of him as Chuck) leaned towards him a fraction, gaze piercing, seeing truth he hadn’t yet spoken.

“I like them both,” he admitted. “Jo is a fine example of a woman and Jimmy complements her rather nicely.”

“You’ve become attached to them.”

“I guess I have.” He knew he’d continue to come back to look in on them no matter what his future jobs entailed. He’d watch them, maybe interact with them and with their children. Gabriel wanted to do that. He wanted to know the family they were going to have. In a strange way, he wanted to feel like he was a part of their family since his own had been a disappointment for so very long.

“You wish to take Jo to see her mother.” Lean fingers curled around his own glass and…Chuck… twirled it, the ice clinking, going straight to the matter.

Gabriel took a long drink from his glass. “I explained to Jimmy why Jo and Ellen need to be parted awhile longer, but the words didn’t seem to convey the fullness of it. Jo would enjoy seeing her mother, even if it’s only a glimpse.”

“Take her then. Just remember that they can’t interact. No conversations between them. You’re creative, Gabriel. I’ve seen what you’re capable of creating when you’re really trying. Figure something out. Understood?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Castiel could also use your help keeping tabs on things. He’s reached the point of requiring aid. Go see him.”

“I’d planned to. Will you be returning home?” His tone was hopeful.

The answer was an enigmatic smile. “Some day. In my own time.”

“Oh.”

“Gabriel?”

“Yes?”

“No more sending people into space. Remember, judgment is my job, not yours. Play your pranks if you must, but if you try to do my job again, you’ll have full consequences on that final day.”

He gulped. “I understand.”

“I know you do.” He reached out a hand and patted Gabriel’s cheek. “Relax. You haven’t lost your touch as a messenger. Times have changed. Adapt. You’re very good at adapting.”

Gabriel sat in the bar for awhile longer, then left to observe Ellen’s daily routine. He’d watch her and when he’d ascertained the best time for Jo to see her, he’d inform Jo.

~~~~~~~~~~

Despite walking perfectly well, Ellen still did her exercises and kept her appointments. Her doctor was pleased with her progress, cutting her loose from further therapy without even one remark about the strange powers of the mind. Ellen had expected one after leaving one day in the wheelchair and returning not even a week later on her own two feet.

She thought the search for Jo was going well now. She and Bobby were both in a good mood over it, slogging through lists, dates, locations, and pictures and cross-referencing them. It was a slow process, but Ellen had hope.

In between perusing data, they headed back out into the field. Ellen found hunting with Bobby to be a rewarding experience, nearly as much as hunting with Jo had been. When Ellen had begun hunting with Jo, they’d been discordant together, prone to arguing over little things and letting old hurts get in the way. They’d slowly worked out their issues and created a system that worked well for them. By Carthage, Ellen thought they’d had a good partnership going, both of them knowing their role and settled into it.

Still, Ellen knew her presence may have kept Jo from living like the single woman in her twenties that Jo had been. It was hard to date when mom was always there. The partnership hadn’t been perfect in many ways, but at the time, it had been what they’d needed. If Ellen had to do it over, knowing all she knew now, there were things she’d change.

She would have given Jo more freedom from the very beginning. She would’ve sat her down early on and spoken frankly about the hunting life, accepting that her daughter already knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life. Maybe she even would have gotten out into the field sooner, teaching Jo herself like she’d ended up doing anyway. She would’ve tried harder to treat Jo as the adult she’d been.

The adult she is, Ellen corrected herself. Jo’s alive. I’ll have that chance again some day. God-willing, it’ll be sooner rather than later.

Ellen enjoyed working with Bobby. It was purely a hunting partnership, nothing romantic between them. Lord, no! She couldn’t think of Bobby that way. It was a comfortable arrangement they ended up with and she’d even stopped feeling like a guest in his house. After all, she did the dishes, laundry, and a chunk of the cleaning just like he did. He didn’t tell her to get out or find another place to stay, though he did tell her it was stupid for her to go somewhere else when he had the room, not to mention that he thought Dean might show up again one of these days. Didn’t she want to see Dean?

Of course she did. She wanted to see him and hear all about what his life was now. Hopefully the woman he was with was a good one, one who’d understand exactly why Dean was the way he was. Bobby said the woman was a civilian. Ellen wished Dean the best of luck with that, though a part of her thought that the two didn’t have a prayer. Civilians and hunters never really had the best of lives together. A hunter couldn’t really leave that world and if the civilian didn’t learn to adapt to the changes….

She’d had to make changes when she’d married Bill Harvelle. She’d embraced how things were in his life even though she hadn’t liked those things. Ellen had been the best wife she could to Bill and the best mother she knew how to Jo. She’d adapted to her new life, which was what she was doing now.

Adapting. Changing. Pushing on without her daughter there at her side, but with the hope that Jo would be in her life again some day soon.

Their routine became settled and familiar, the days seeming to fly by.

~~~~~~~~~~

When Jo actually took an afternoon to look at the books on pregnancy at the bookstore downtown, it occurred to her that she’d figured out her state far quicker than most women. It had made sense to her that she was pregnant. After all, she’d skipped her period and she was like clockwork. What else could it be? She and Jimmy had been like bunnies since that day of her mini-breakdown, using anything as an excuse to head to bed. Not that they actually made it to the bedroom every time….

The home test had confirmed her self-diagnosis and her body just didn’t feel…normal.

But the books she skimmed through made it seem like she shouldn’t have realized for another month. Was it because she had babies on the brain anyway? Every baby she saw looked cute and a trip to the chain superstore for groceries had begun to turn into a trek down the baby aisles, making mental notes of things she thought they were going to need.

She bought a couple books and made an appointment to see one of the doctors Chuck had recommended. He couldn’t see her for another couple weeks and she thought that was fine. Jo didn’t really care to see a doctor anyway, she just knew it was the right thing to do at this point.

The pictures from their wedding were finally ready, Jo picking them up, choosing the best shots of both of them, together and singly, and framing them. She put a couple in the living room and several on the mostly unused dresser in their bedroom. She liked the shot of them on the gazebo the best. They’d been waiting for the photographer to direct them, both anxious and trying not to show it. He’d snapped the picture without telling them and it turned out to be her favorite one out of all of them. There was a picture of them during their dance and their kiss from the ceremony. The rest she put into a photo album that she set out on the lower shelf of the coffee table. If they ever had guests, they could look at the album.

Slowly, Jo was making the house feel like home, adding things to give it personality. A candle here, books there. Little things that made her feel comfortable.

Day by day, little by little, her clothes became tighter. Things that fit loose one day were tight by the end of a week and her favorite t-shirt could no longer contain the curves of her breasts, the fabric strained to the point of discomfort. Her bras didn’t fit either and getting her jeans fastened was an adventure.

Jo got ready for bed and laid on her back, waiting for Jimmy to join her. She rested a hand on her stomach, thinking about all those things she’d been reading in the books and wondering what she was going to be like as a mom. Would she be a good mother? Would she make the right choices?

~~~~~~~~~~

Jimmy took his time locking up the house and getting ready for bed. He liked the changes Jo had been making in the house. It was beginning to feel like a home -- their home. It made him feel like they had a normal life.

He turned off the light and climbed into bed beside her.

She wasn’t asleep, sliding close, body warm against him. “I’ve been thinking,” she started in a soft voice.

“Yeah?” He rolled onto his side, face beside hers on the pillow, adjusting the covers with one hand.

Jo took that hand in hers, placed it on her stomach. “You know it’s scary, the thought of having a baby.”

“I know. Been there.” His lips did a tour of her face, gentle touches. “But it’s also one of the best experiences you’ll ever have. You won’t be alone, Jo. I’ll be right here.”

“The voice of experience.” She twined their fingers together. “I keep wondering if I’ll be a good mom.”

“I think every woman who wants to be a mother worries about that at some point.”

She glanced at him, lips parting. Jo took a deep breath and asked, “Did Amelia,” in a low, hesitant voice.

He thought back, recalling Amelia’s worries on that topic, and smiled a little. “She worried a lot about it. Were we raising Claire right? Did Claire like having her for a mom? Did I think she was a good mother?” Jimmy shifted closer, dropping a kiss on Jo’s bare shoulder. “I think every child is different. Every set of circumstances, every woman. Do you think your mom did a good job with you?”

“Hell yeah. I wouldn’t be who I am today without her. Not to say we never fought or anything, because we had some real knock-down, drag-outs, but I loved her. Even when we were fighting, I knew she loved me and that she’d do anything for me.” Tears glinted in her eyes and she blinked them away. “She even died with me. It was supposed to be because I couldn’t move my legs, but really, under it all…even if I’d been able to move, she would have stayed because she didn’t want me to be alone in the end.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that Ellen was alive, but as Gabriel hadn’t returned from wherever he’d gone yet, he let the moment slip by. “Do you really think you wouldn’t be the same way for your own children?”

She raised a hand and cupped his cheek, thumb stroking. “Thank you.” Jo slid down, resting her head on his chest. In minutes, her breaths had slowed, body relaxing.

He sighed. Amelia had been terrified for a long time that something would happen to Claire. She’d worried about every thing that could go wrong for an infant, yet as Claire had grown, Amelia had relaxed. She’d stopped looking at what could be wrong and looked instead at what was right. Jimmy closed his eyes, and succumbed to sleep himself.

The next morning, he woke to the sight of Jo standing in her underwear in front of the full length mirror on the bathroom door. Sitting up, he watched her. She turned to the right, frowned at her reflection, then turned left and did it again. Facing front, she adjusted her bra. No matter how she adjusted, she had cleavage that caused an appreciative stirring in his groin. Her glance found him in the mirror.

“My bras are too tight.” She squinted at her reflection. “I mean, I can get them fastened but,” she gestured at her chest, “the cups overflow.” Next, she motioned to the stack of jeans tossed on the chair. She must have been trying on clothes for awhile because he noticed more than jeans strewn about. Skirts, shorts, and other clothes were on the floor. “None of my jeans will fasten except the really low-rise ones, and they aren’t exactly…flattering at present. I have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear except pajama pants and yoga pants. I don’t do yoga, Jimmy. Why did Gabriel put yoga pants in the closet?”

“So you’d have something to wear when your jeans got too tight?” Getting up, he went to her and slipped an arm around her, hand on her belly, pressing her back against him. She definitely had a curve there where before she’d had none. He’d noticed it about a week ago. He’d also seen the pregnancy test package in the trashcan in the bathroom. Jimmy pressed his face to her neck and closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of her perfume and waiting for the words he knew were coming.

“I may not know too much about being pregnant, but I do know that you don’t usually start showing in your second month.” Her hands covered his. “I can’t be showing already. It’s impossible. I’m not eating any more than I usually do and the baby can’t be any bigger than like the size of a…a…pea pod -- if even that. So why do my clothes not fit? It makes no sense.”

He rested his chin on her shoulder. “Maybe you’re not two months along.”

Her gaze met his in the mirror. She started to smile, but it faltered. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Some of the things Gabriel had said and done made sense now. The insistence that they hurry up and have sex, the stress on pregnancy during that long conversation on hunting, and more. “It means I think you’re further along.” It was likely she was. He knew very well she could be.

Pulling away, she reached for her robe. “I can’t be further along. I haven’t been with anyone except you and it’s only been a couple months.” Jo drew it on and tightened the sash at her waist. “I’m not further along.”

“Yeah, you can be.” Jimmy rested his hands on his hips. This was going to get messy. He could already tell. “Gabriel,” he called, hoping he’d pop into view immediately. Of course he didn’t, leaving Jimmy to try explaining. “Trust me, you can be.”

“No.”

“Yes.” He waved a hand towards the hallway. “How about we go out in the living room, sit on the couch? I’ll make some coffee…. Scratch that. You shouldn’t have coffee anymore.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I want to know what you mean by ‘I can be’ when we didn’t start having sex until about two months ago.”

He debated telling her or yelling for Gabriel again and chose to yell. “Gabriel, you son of a bitch, will you get down here? You started this, you can damn well do the explaining!”

“Explaining? What’s there to explain?” Jo shook her head even more, eyes widening. She appeared to have thought of something that alarmed her. “No. No, no, no, no, no, no. No! He didn’t! He didn’t mess with my memories.”

“He sort of did.” ‘Sort of’ didn’t actually cover it. ‘Trampled and rearranged without restraint’ was far more accurate, but he didn’t think she’d care for that description.

“He didn’t….” She gulped in a breath. “You arrived here on July seventeenth. Is that right?”

“I did. On angel air.” She liked to call his time as a vessel ‘flying angel air’. He thought it was funny. That she could find and share humor in his situation with Castiel made him feel better about it.

“Okay. That was about four months ago, which is long enough to….” Her hands pressed against her stomach, lips making an ‘o’.

Jimmy nodded. “Yeah. Some women start showing about then, others a little later, but…yeah. Four months is about right on average I guess.”

She turned her back to him. “Tell me we didn’t have sex that day. Please, Jimmy. Tell me it was longer than a few hours before we did it.”

He moved to her, hands raising to touch her arms and drawing back before touching her. “I can’t do that, Jo, because we did. We…really…did. A lot, in the space of several hours. And it wasn’t a few hours before we did, it was probably only minutes after meeting. I’m not very clear on that bit of time.”

Her shoulders hunched. “Minutes. Nice. He turned me into a bar slut. I’m really feeling that whole ‘special’ label right now.”

“Jo, you are pregnant and you’re starting to show. Gabriel messed up and he tried to fix it --”

“You mean he tried to cover it up.” Her laugh was a bit on the hysterical side. “The truth will out, even for an angel. So,” she turned back to him and started counting things off on her fingers, “he must have suppressed my reluctance for anything casual and your objections to it. At least I’m assuming he did that to you. Then he tried to cover it up, and manipulated us and….” She laughed again. “Gosh, we have such good times with him around. What’s next? Do we get to be in another time loop, because the first one was giggles.”

“He tried to fix it.”

She held up a finger, wagged it at him. “How long have you known? I mean about all of it.”

This would be the point where he was going to end up on the couch for awhile. “I don’t want to argue with you.”

“You don’t want to argue? Just answer the question.”

He looked down at the floor and with a breath to brace himself, said, “I’ve known since the night I told you I’m the last vessel.”

“Mmm. That long? Um-hmm. I thought marriage was about trust? You should have told me.” She sounded upset, though not as outraged as he’d assumed she’d be.

Jimmy looked back at her. “And say what? Gabriel thought it’d be a good idea for us to have sex so he made it happen back in July? That would have been a good idea?”

“Yes.”

“No.” He shook his head.

“No?”

“No. I begged him to take the memories of you away from me a second time --”

“A second time? Jimmy….” She made a noise of exasperation.

“This isn’t coming out right,” he told her. “He didn’t let me remember, Jo. I spontaneously remembered and rather than compound his mistake with further tampering, he let the memories stay.”

Her expression shifted and for a second, she even looked a little green. “I’m gonna be sick,” she whispered, turning and hurrying into the bathroom.

Jimmy followed, kneeling beside her and slipping an arm around her to brace her. With his other hand, he held her hair back, though the heaves appeared to be dry ones.

She coughed. “Don’t touch me.”

“Okay.” He didn’t release her until the heaves ceased and her body relaxed. “Want some water?”

“No. I hate throwing up.”

He didn’t point out that she didn’t actually throw up. “You feeling up to coming back out and discussing this a little more?”

She leaned back against him. “I just want to know what happened. Is it too much to ask? I want to know. It involved my body.”

Jimmy helped her to her feet. “I think it’s a reasonable request.”

They emerged from the bathroom to find Gabriel in the middle of their bedroom, his arms crossed.

“You really want to know what happened, Jo? It won’t change anything and once you know, I won’t take that knowledge away. I’m done messing with time as far as you two are concerned.”

“Yes.” Jo loosed herself from Jimmy’s embrace. “I want to know everything Jimmy knows about it.”

Gabriel nodded. “Okay. Don’t complain that I didn’t warn you.” He snapped his fingers.

Her expression didn’t change quickly, it was more in tiny increments. She raised a brow, “huh,” licked her lips, “oh, um,” looked at the floor while pursing her lips, “I…sorry about your back, Jimmy.”

“It’s okay. Didn’t even have the scratches there later.”

“And the whole…neck…” She wiggled a finger at her neck.

“Gone too.”

“Yeah. Well….” Jo crossed her arms. “So, four months then. That’s a little less time to process it than I’d thought I’d have.”

“It’s still plenty of time to get ready,” Jimmy assured her, rubbing a hand along her back.

Gabriel glanced at the clothes on the floor and chair, then at Jo. “Ready for your first pieces of maternity wear?” Jo didn’t answer him, but as usual, it didn’t phase the archangel. He pursed his lips, snapped his fingers and informed her that she now had comparable items to her favorite jeans and shirts that would expand as needed for her growing belly. “But I didn’t come today to upgrade your wardrobe. I have some good news for you, Jo, and some not so good at the same time.”

She glanced up at Jimmy. “What news?”

“It’s about your mother.” Gabriel stepped close. “She’s alive like you are, Jo, and I can take you to her, but there’s one condition….”

Shock reflected on Jo’s face, replaced quickly by pleasure that slid into sadness as Gabriel spoke, telling her of the need to be stealthy in the visit. She nodded. “Okay. Whenever you can take me, I’ll be ready.”

They chose Thanksgiving for the date of the excursion.

~~~~~~~~~~

When Gabriel arrived to pick up Jo, he found her on the couch with Jimmy. She was lying down, her head on a pillow on Jimmy’s lap, sound asleep. Jimmy was awake, a hand resting on her side, feet propped on the coffee table, and a book in hand. He looked up at Gabriel’s approach.

“She’s been ready since a little after eight. I told her that ‘late’ probably meant two or three in the morning, but she didn’t want you to have to wait while she finished getting ready.”

“What’s there to get ready for? She’s popping in, getting a look at Ellen sleeping, and coming back here.”

“She got ready like it was a date. Shower, jewelry. I talked her out of putting on make-up.”

He shook his head. “A lot of women run away from their mothers. Jo would run to her.”

Jimmy turned down one page in his book and set it aside. “No, she wouldn’t run. It’s always been Ellen finding her. Jo never went home, Gabriel. She was determined to make it on her own, be independent of Ellen. Ellen tracked her down, made her an offer to partner up. Jo wants to see her, but I think she’d said goodbye to Ellen during those months right after she woke up here. Those strings are cut.”

“We’ll see how cut they are when we’re in that room,” he said in a cynical tone. Jo wasn’t nonchalant about this visit. She’d gotten dressed up, for crying out loud. She was even wearing her charm bracelet. Gabriel raised his voice. “Rise and shine, Joanna Beth. It’s time to see mommy.”

“Wake up, honey.” Jimmy shook her gently. “Gabriel’s here.”

How cute, Gabriel thought. He’s moved on to using endearments with her.

Jo opened her eyes and yawned, hand raising to cover her mouth. “What time is it?”

“Almost two-thirty.” One of Jimmy’s hands touched her face, smoothing her hair back.

She turned her head on the pillow. “You’re sure she’s asleep?”

“Has been at this hour every night for a month.” He put his hands in his jacket pockets.

“You watched her sleep?” Jo sat up, swung her legs over the side of the couch, and frowned. “That’s creepy, Gabriel.” She looked at Jimmy. “Hey, didn’t Cas used to do that to Dean?”

“He did,” Gabriel answered for him, “but it was done out of normal angelic curiosity and patience. We don’t sleep and it fascinates us that humans do. We don’t understand what it’s like and in an attempt to understand, we study.”

“Do you watch us?” She stretched, chest thrusting out.

He glanced at Jimmy and back. “I decline to answer on grounds that it may incriminate me.”

Jo stood up with a roll of her eyes. “I already knew you were a degenerate and pervert, Gabriel. Just by saying that you incriminate yourself.”

“I’m hardly immoral or corrupt and my sexual behavior --”

“Is deviant according to Castiel,” she interrupted. “Angels aren’t supposed to be sexual.”

Biting back a smile, he cocked a brow at her. “Are you ready to leave yet, or are we going to argue about my sex life?”

She tucked her hair behind her ears. “We’re leaving.” Bending, she kissed Jimmy. “Be back in a bit.”

Jimmy picked his book back up as Jo moved around the coffee table to Gabriel.

He looked at her. “You ready for this?”

“I think so.”

“Just relax. We’ll be there in a blink.” Gabriel touched her shoulder and took them to Bobby Singer’s house.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jo gasped as the bedroom her mother had taken at Bobby’s was suddenly around them. She took a deep breath, letting the familiar smells soothe her. She could smell the scents of the meal her mother had shared with Bobby. It was the same smells that were in Jo’s own house at present. Turkey and dressing, fresh rolls, pumpkin and pecan pie. It made her feel close to Ellen, knowing they’d had mostly the same meal. She wondered if it was only Ellen and Bobby, or if there’d been others present during the day. Dean maybe?

It was quiet, dark. Gradually, her eyes adjusted to the dark and she could see her mother asleep.

Ellen was on her back, sprawled out and snoring just a little. Jo moved to the bedside. She wanted to wake her, hug her, and feel the comfort of her mother’s arms around her. She wanted to hear Ellen’s voice telling her it was going to be okay.

She didn’t wake her, nor did she attempt a hug or touch at all.

For one, Gabriel had been explicit in his instructions. No talking, no touching. Nothing that could wake Ellen.

For another, she wasn’t sure she was ready to talk to her mother. After all, she’d thought Ellen was dead, had reconciled herself to not seeing her again on earth, but here she was. Alive. And Jo didn’t know where she could even begin speaking. So much had happened that Ellen hadn’t been a part of except in Jo’s mind.

She glanced at Gabriel. He’d moved to the window and had his back to her while he looked outside. Surreptitiously, Jo unhooked one of the charms from her bracelet and set it in the circle of her mother’s watchband on the nightstand. When Ellen woke, it’d be there, a tiny bit of Jo there with her.

It probably wasn’t a good idea. Jo did it anyway, then turned, and went to Gabriel.

“I’m ready.”

There was surprise in his eyes. “So soon?”

“I’ve seen her. That’s why we came, right? So I could see she was alive and well?”

He crossed his arms, suspicion glinting for a long moment before his hand lashed out, grasped her wrist and raised it. “Let’s count those charms, shall we?”

“Let go,” she tried to jerk her arm back, but he held on to it. “Look, you said she knows I’m alive. She needs hope, Gabriel. She needs assurance of some kind or she gets moody and impossible and I wouldn’t wish her that way on anyone, let alone Bobby. The charm will reassure her.” His grip loosened a fraction. “When I left home I occasionally sent her postcards, usually after something had happened, partly to reassure her I was still out there and partly to ground myself, to feel I had a place and person to go back to if I had to.” Jo swallowed hard. “Please. Let her have the charm.”

After a hard stare, he nodded. “It’s on you if that leads to trouble.”

“It won’t.”

“Don’t promise what you can’t deliver.”

They were suddenly back at Jo and Jimmy’s house, Gabriel still holding her wrist. Jimmy was standing, just reaching to turn off a light. Jo found herself thrust at him, Jimmy catching her.

“Take your wife,” Gabriel spat. “She’s a devious creature.”

Jo turned. “Gabriel?”

“What?” His lips tightened into a thin line.

“Thank you.” She moved forward before she could rethink doing so, arms raising to hug him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “I really do appreciate you taking me to see her.”

He pulled away. For a split second, Jo saw discomfort mixed with delight in his eyes. “Just remember what I said. If anything happens….”

“I understand.”

Gabriel vanished and Jo turned to Jimmy with a smile that grew wider as she relived the visit in her mind.

“So? How’d it go?”

“I’m glad I went. Knowing she’s out there…. It’s comforting, you know?”

“I do.”

It felt to Jo as though she’d overcome some sort of barrier, though she couldn’t figure out what it could be. “Let’s go to bed. I’m tired.”

Jimmy turned out the light and slipped an arm about her. “You’ve had an exciting night. No wonder you’re tired.”

Jo let him lead her down the hall and into their bedroom. She slept well that night and woke refreshed the next day, ready for whatever was coming their way.