Title: That Old Illusion of Free Will

Chapter: Six

~~~~~~~~~~

When Meg’s anger subsided, she went to the diner down the street and drank coffee while she thought about the turn of events.

It was a sign, plain and simple, that she was on the right track. She was the one who was going to find the vessel. Although, calling him ‘the vessel’ was so impersonal at present. He was Castiel’s vessel. She didn’t have an actual name for him -- yet. She’d have to work on that.

Had he been empty before? Why would Castiel leave his vessel?

Try as she might, Meg couldn’t think of any reason the vessel would be left alone unless Castiel, the yummy angelic morsel, had been called back to heaven for some reason. Even then, why wouldn’t he take his vessel with him? It was a puzzle she fully intended to put together.

She decided to ask around in her usual persuasive manner about any empty vessels that had been previously discovered. She’d gather a list -- if there even was one -- and begin cross-referencing such things as drivers license photos, among other tricks.

Vaguely, she recalled there’d been a vessel that had gotten away a couple of years earlier….

Meg pulled out a map of the state and a marker and put an ‘x’ on her location. Castiel’s vessel had been traveling. The bags were a dead give-away. But was he traveling a long distance? Was he with the woman? Was the woman a vessel, too? Or merely a piece of ass he’d picked up for a good time? She thought it might be too good to be true if she found two empty vessels. Still, one never knew. Those sort of things just seemed to fall into her lap.

She tried to recall the vehicle he’d gone to, failing in that regard. Her focus had been on him, not the truck.

No matter. She’d stumbled across him once, it was only a matter of time before she found him through other channels.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jo woke with a mild headache. She wondered if Jimmy had any idea about the real reason for her tears the night before. They weren’t all from not hunting. Sure, she’d shed a few for not actually getting to the location she’d chosen, but the bulk of her tears had been from her own reaction to perceived danger.

Rolling onto her back, she looked at Jimmy’s side of the bed. The pillow was dented still from where his head had been and the covers were scrunched up at the foot of the bed. Reaching out, she touched the sheets. They were warm, meaning he’d just gotten up.

With a sigh, she turned her attention to the ceiling and back to her own musings.

She’d been scared, more scared than she’d been in a very long time. Her fright as a beginning hunter and from the night before was a different sort than she’d had as a seasoned hunter. It was that pee-your-pants terror that could paralyze. Not that she hadn’t been terrified as a hunter. She had. Frequently. But she’d known she’d do her best on all fronts.

This time…she’d felt different. Unprepared. Wrong.

“I’m losing my freakin’ mind,” she whispered, then heaved a long sigh and tossed the covers off. She dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, trying to ignore the pangs of nausea that welled up inside her. Why shouldn’t her stomach be upset along with the headache? Somehow, it seemed fitting.

She padded barefoot down the hall and found Jimmy in the kitchen. He already had a cup of coffee poured for her, handing it to her with a wary glance as she joined him at the counter. “Thanks. I’m sorry about last night.” He didn’t say anything, putting flour and other ingredients into a large bowl. Jo took a sip of the coffee, then set it down, feeling like she had to try to explain further than she had the night before. “There was something out there, outside the motel. I felt it. Something evil, malicious, just waiting.”

He poured milk into a bowl and started stirring the contents. “I didn’t feel anything right then -- except a little hurt when you shoved me away.”

“I know. Jimmy --”

Jimmy moved away with the bowl, going to the stove and setting the bowl beside it on the counter. He adjusted the griddle on one side, sprayed it with oil, and turned on the burners beneath it. “Forget it.”

“No, I won’t.” She followed him, hand on his arm, trying to get him to turn to face her. When he did, Jo slid her hands up his chest until they were on either side of his neck. She brushed her thumbs against his skin. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“You said that.” His hands grasped her forearms with a light touch, as though he was about to set her from him. “The pan’s going to overheat and the pancakes will burn when I put them on.”

“You’re pissed at me.” She could see it there in his eyes, a lingering remnant of those hurt feelings he’d had. He was still hurting and trying to suppress it.

He glanced upward, then at the stove before answering. “No, I’m frustrated. I thought we were going to have a nice evening and it blew up. I was hoping….”

She knew what he’d been hoping for and before the demon’s presence outside, she’d wanted to fulfill that hope. “I thought we were going to have a nice evening, too. Believe me, I was looking forward to it…” she took a step closer, so that their bodies brushed, “…and to getting to know you better in a more personal sense.” Stretching up on her toes, she pressed a kiss to his jaw. The stubble on his jaw tickled. “A very personal sense.” Jo punctuated each word with another kiss.

He released her arms, hands sliding along her sides and down to her hips. “There’s always tonight. Or this afternoon.” Jimmy squeezed her hips, drawing her closer. “Or we could head back to bed now….”

His lips had just touched hers when Gabriel’s voice intruded.

“Well, now that you’ve made up, let’s have breakfast. I’m a sucker for pancakes.”

Jimmy released her with what looked to be a long-suffering sigh. “Angels,” he muttered. “Pain in the….”

Jo watched him open a bag of chocolate chips, drop a healthy amount into the batter, eye it, then add more. She retrieved her coffee and went to the table, sitting across from Gabriel.

~~~~~~~~~~

For the most part, they all ate in silence, Jimmy waiting until he’d finished before attempting to have a serious conversation with the archangel. “So what now?”

“What do you mean?”

Jimmy slid his plate aside. “Well, we’ve established that we’re both stuck here now. Do I have a job to go to? Castiel never said and neither did you.”

“Do you want a job, Jimmy? You didn’t really care for your last one. Selling ad space? Thrilling. Stimulating. Totally mentally challenging. You can tell everyone you took really early retirement if you want.”

“Uh-huh. About the money. Where did it come from? And the 401K? Different social security number?”

“You don’t want the money? Or compensation? We want you and Jo happy and content here. If it takes money to achieve some of that, we’ll make it happen. But if you want a job, we can do that, too. Work from home? I’ll set it up and make sure you have the skills and knowledge for it. As for the social, you’re a new man with a new life. Jo’s a new woman. When you say or write your old number, it’s seen and heard by others as the new one. Makes it easier for you. You don’t have to learn a new number.”

“Maybe we want to learn the new ones.” Jo finally slid her plate aside, her food half eaten.

“Can we not argue everything, Jo?” Gabriel’s tone was tired.

Her response was a half-hearted shrug.

“It doesn’t feel right not to have a job.” Jimmy took a drink of coffee. “I’d like a job, even if it’s only part-time.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.” He needed a routine that was familiar. Maybe not the same, but similar, lending a feel of normalcy to their lives when their lives were anything but normal.

“If you insist. What do you want to do?” Gabriel forked another pancake onto his plate. “If you won’t accept the early retirement option, you need something comparable to what you had. The hospital has a couple jobs you might like, working with account collection, maybe? Shall I surprise you?”

“I need something to do.”

“Sure. Consider it done. How about you, Jo?”

Her smile was sweet. “I have a job, thank you. You won’t let me do it.”

Gabriel stared at her a moment before pouring syrup on his pancake. “Will you take a minute and think about it? Stop the attitude and think about what hunting is, what you do when you hunt.”

She drew one knee up, foot resting on the chair seat, and wrapped an arm around her knee. “Hunting is doing a bit of needed good for the world.”

“More specific.”

“Okay.” She pursed her lips. “It’s going after the bad things and putting them down.”

“Is it dangerous?” He cut the pancake.

“It can be.”

“How often is it dangerous? I mean, just the regular, run of the mill jobs, not the demons.” He shrugged and took a bite, like it was a casual query.

Jimmy began to clear the table, watching them out of the corner of his eye. Gabriel had changed tactics with her it seemed. He was leading up to something, letting her work through it.

Jo was quiet for a long time, then cleared her throat. “It’s usually dangerous in some way. Ghosts can be violent, circumstances can get out of control….”

“Okay. It’s not a nice, calm profession. You know the things that can go wrong.”

“Yes.” She touched her left side, rubbed the spot she’d told him should bear ugly scars yet didn’t. Sometimes she had nightmares and he’d lie beside her in bed, holding her while she whimpered from the memories. It hadn’t happened often, but it had happened a couple times. “Things can always go wrong.”

“How smart is it to go on jobs when you’re pregnant?”

“Stupid, but I’m not --”

“If you were, would it be a good idea to go out? Just answer the question.”

Jimmy finished putting the dishes in the dishwasher and refreshed his coffee before sitting back down at the table. He’d let the pan cool before washing it.

“Gabriel….” She shook her head, expression indicating she thought it was a silly question. “I wouldn’t go out while pregnant. I just want to do something until then.”

“Keep in mind that you can be pregnant and not know you are. Would you risk that chance?”

Jo leaned her head back. “No, but --”

“If something were to happen to you before you could get pregnant, what would happen?” He shoveled in another few bites of the pancake and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

She sighed. “Fine. I get the point. You don’t need to beat a dead horse. No hunting until after a baby.”

“Now, let’s discuss last night.” He held up a hand. “Before you protest, we need to talk about it. It’s important.”

With a small soft sigh of his own, Jimmy crossed his arms. The conversation appeared to be focusing on Jo now. Not that he was complaining.

“You know what it was that was out there then?”

“Of course I know what it was. It was a demon. My timing was impeccable. If I’d been a moment later, I’d have had to put you two back together again. I mean that literally.” Gabriel ate the last few bites of the pancake and sat back. The plate disappeared. “Your reaction last night in that motel room was a normal thing, Jo.”

“Bullshit. I’m a hunter, Gabriel. I froze.”

“Do you think dying like you did had no affect on you? You were given a killing wound by something you knew was there and couldn’t see. It’s not surprising that you’d freeze when you felt danger outside.”

Gabriel’s expression was open and candid. He was definitely trying for the sensitive approach. Jimmy sipped at his coffee.

“It’s been months. I should be over it.”

“Says who? If it makes you feel better, Dean goes all terrified and shaky when facing the hounds. He has a moment of pure panic before that training drilled into him kicks in.” He crossed his arms on the table top. “He has nightmares, too. You’re not the only one. He relives every second of when the hounds came to drag him to hell, and that was how long ago now? So, Jo, if you think a few months is going to push your hound experience under the bridge out of sight, you’re kidding yourself.”

“I’m a hunter.” The words were stubborn, her tone faltering. Pain flickered across her face.

“No, you were a hunter. Joanna Beth Harvelle was a hunter. That woman died doing her job to the very best of her ability, giving her life ultimately for her friends and the greater good.” Getting up, Gabriel went to her, kneeling before her and taking her hands in his. He raised her left hand slightly, thumb rubbing the two rings on her ring finger. “You are Jo Novak now and you have to make a different path for yourself within your circumstances. I have no doubt you’ll find some way to get yourself back in the good fight without field work, much like your mother. You’re very much your mother’s daughter.”

Jimmy could see the words and realization sinking in. Her gaze became sad, shoulders slumping a little. She was facing a truth she’d avoided and it was hurting her to do it.

“Now, nothing says you can’t work to keep your field skills sharp. It’d be the smart thing to do, but as for hunting itself, you’re simply not emotionally ready. Your death is still too fresh.”

“Dean went right back to it,” she pointed out.

“You’re not Dean Winchester. Besides, he’s got more than a few issues and a little PTSD isn’t really going to slow him down. You, on the other hand, were raised in a more stable environment. You’re a different person, Jo. You need time to recover.”

“I just want to go back to who I was.” Her voice broke halfway through the sentence.

Sobs were imminent. Jimmy could see her lower lip starting to tremble and went around the table, drawing her into his embrace. “You can’t go home again, Jo. Believe me, I tried.”

She leaned her head against him, turning her face to him. Her breath was hot against his stomach through his t-shirt. He felt her shoulders shudder with the beginnings of the sobs he’d predicted and held her tighter. “I want to.”

“I know, but home isn’t there anymore. You’re not that person anymore. Everything has changed and you have to adapt. It might not be what you want -- hell it usually isn’t -- but maybe….” He sighed. “Maybe that change is what you need underneath it all.”

He stroked her hair with one hand. When Gabriel released her hands, she turned completely in her chair, her arms going around Jimmy, those sobs now wracking her body.

“I’m here. I know exactly what you’re feeling. I’ve had varying degrees of it twice now.”

Gabriel stood. “Call if you need me,” he whispered and was gone from sight, leaving them alone.

Jimmy held her until her sobs subsided and when they had, he carried her into the living room, sat on the couch, and held her some more.

~~~~~~~~~~

The news of Jo being alive and well was enough to push Ellen from the wheelchair.

Well, that coupled with Bobby’s sudden wide eyes and excited tone a couple days after Castiel’s visit. “Get your sorry ass out of that chair, Ellen. Now! Get up!”

She’d been considering that action anyway, just standing and taking whatever came from it, determination welling inside her to finally be done with the wheelchair once and for all. She’d spent enough time wallowing in her pains. Bobby sounded like he’d figured something out and Ellen pushed herself to a standing position.

For Jo. For herself. For the reunion she wanted now that she knew for certain that Jo was alive and well. If Castiel thought that suggestion to forget Jo was going to discourage her or stop her, he had another thing coming. He’d merely given her enough oomph to push the search and her own recovery to new levels. This was going to happen, come hell or high water. She was going to walk, going to find Jo, and to hell with Castiel’s suggestion. When she found Jo, she was going to give Castiel a piece of her mind.

She took one step, then another, wobbling a little, yet finding her balance quickly enough.

There was no pain, only a feeling of exhilaration at taking those steps.

Ellen walked like nothing had been wrong and she’d never been so weak as to need the chair to begin with. By the time she reached Bobby, they were both grinning.

He made a face, a scornful frown that was patently false. “You were already healed, idiot. No wonder he was surprised to see you in that thing.”

“And said he couldn’t heal me.”

“Bingo. With me, he couldn’t heal me because he didn’t have the ability to heal anyone but himself right then. With you, he couldn’t heal what didn’t need healing. I knew you were stubborn, but damn, Ellen.”

“It’s called having a strong will. Guess that doctor may have been right. It was all in my head.” Her pleased grin faltered. “Cas also told me to forget Jo, Bobby. I can’t --”

“Did he mean it, though? You think an angel knows reverse psychology?” He shrugged. “Because it worked on Dean all the time. Tell him he couldn’t do something and he’d be out there proving you wrong before the words were fully out of your mouth. You do have that same sort of stubborn streak he does.”

She sighed, looked down at her legs, touched her thighs with her hands. “Why didn’t he just say it straight?”

“Once an angel, always one. They like to talk around things. Drove Dean nuts, along with the rest of us dealing with angels. And maybe Castiel wasn’t allowed to tell you outright.”

Ellen decided to forget it, not let herself wonder. She was up and walking. Maybe Cas had used reverse psychology on her and maybe not. Bobby did know Castiel better than she did. Maybe he was right. “Whatever the case, Bobby my friend, we’re going to celebrate.”

They went out for lunch and while Bobby did some shopping of his own, Ellen bought a few clothes that fit properly, enjoying that new sense of freedom and optimism surging through her.

The search was back on and this time, they were going to look at it with new eyes. Jo had a new last name. Ellen pondered that and when they sat back down to make more calls, she had a few ideas on how to proceed.

~~~~~~~~~~

The room was small, the furnishings sparse. A couch, chair, a couple tables and a throw rug. Still, Castiel supposed it had a welcoming air. The curtains, though worn, were in a cheery print and the couch he sat on was soft. Across from him, in the overstuffed chair, Amelia Novak sat, her legs tucked beneath her, a cup of hot tea in her hands. To a live human, the liquid in her cup wouldn’t exist. To Amelia, it was real.

Somewhere, a clock ticked. It had been ticking for quite some time now while they’d sat quietly together.

“This isn’t the home you shared with Jimmy,” he said.

Amelia smiled. “This was our first apartment. When we got married, we had very little money. No tv, barely enough to cover expenses, but we managed. We talked a lot back then, played board games in the evenings, like Scrabble or Clue, and got our books from the local library. I always worried about paying the bills, but Jimmy….” She laughed. “He’d think for a few minutes, then leap. Back then anyway.” She set her mug down on the table beside her. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

Castiel studied the room once more, then shook his head. “I don’t know.”

It was an honest answer. He wasn’t sure at all why he’d asked Amelia if she’d speak with him for a few minutes. Perhaps….

He’d missed companionship. Without Jimmy, he couldn’t speak to Dean or anyone else save other angels and the angels didn’t understand him or like him. To them, he was a strange puzzle made more so by his promotion and attitudes. He didn’t think he could even befriend Gabriel. Gabriel seemed more interested in feminine companions of the sexual variety than in anything else.

What he missed was sitting quietly in Dean and Sam’s motel room while Dean talked or Dean and Sam talked. He missed listening and occasionally participating in discussions. He missed their presence with him and that human interaction.

Cas blinked. I’m lonely, he thought. How did that happen? He couldn’t recall feeling loneliness like this before.

She clasped her hands together. “Oh. Jimmy’s not here, is he? I mean, you’re showing me his appearance, but he’s not with you. He’s down on earth.”

“Yes.” He felt a strange relief at having a topic to discuss. “Jimmy is on earth. I thought it’d be easier for you if I didn’t show my true form. Less frightening.”

Her brows rose. “That was thoughtful of you, Castiel.”

“Yes.” He opened his mouth to say more and couldn’t think of anything. Why was he having such difficulty? The idea to speak to Amelia had seemed like such a good one.

“How is he? Is he happy? Has he found the next Mrs. Novak yet?”

He stared at her with a frown. “That question was flippant. Why?”

She reached for her tea with a sigh. “Castiel, I’m dead. We discussed this the last time you were here. I’m fully aware that some time has passed since then and I didn’t intend to sound flippant. I really do want to know. Has Jimmy found the woman who’ll be his second wife yet?”

“I misread your tone?”

“You did.”

“Oh.” Castiel wondered how much he should tell her. He couldn’t think of any other angels who’d taken the time recently to sit and talk with the dead. It had happened, he did know that, just not since God had left heaven. “He’s remarried. It’s been approximately a month since the ceremony.”

“You’re worried about it, about him and…?”

“Jo,” he supplied for her. “Her name is Jo. Joanna.”

“What’s worrying you about them?”

He squeezed his hands into fists on his legs. “I worry for their safety.”

“Of course you worry for Jimmy’s safety. He’s your vessel.” Cynicism colored the comment.

“I don’t worry for that reason.” He stood, then bowed his head a little. “Not solely anyway. I worry because there are things…. Jo was a hunter before they met. She does have knowledge and I’m certain she’ll instruct Jimmy for their mutual protection. There’s an angel, an archangel, at their current location --”

“Maybe you have a cause to worry then.” Her tone became sharp, the comment a pointed one.

He took a few steps one direction, then the other, beginning to pace. Amelia and Claire had been betrayed by their angel protector. He remembered that with a pang of guilt. Castiel forced himself to stop pacing. Pacing solved nothing. All it did was expend energy. It was a useless activity and a human one. “That angel has been dealt with. The one with Jimmy and Jo is trustworthy. Strong-willed, opinionated, and something of a law unto himself at times, but thoroughly trustworthy. He would not have been resurrected if he weren’t.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am. It’s not only Jimmy and Jo though. I can’t locate Dean. He’s not with Lisa and Ben and I’m nearly certain Sam escaped Lucifer. I appear to have lost the phone I procured and would need Jimmy to both get and use a new one. Earth is a mess, heaven is a mess --”

“You’re stressed.” Amelia’s lips twitched. “I don’t believe it. I never thought an angel would feel stress.”

She was right. There was an exceedingly large amount of stress in his life at present.

“Don’t you have other angels to help you? I thought heaven was full of angels.”

He needed more help than he currently had to deal with the stress. He needed a vesseled angel to delegate tasks to and it certainly wasn’t going to be Raphael. Raphael had avoided being anywhere near Castiel since Cas had begun work in heaven. That meant that he needed Gabriel’s assistance one way or another. “Thank you, Amelia. I apologize for taking you from your family and friends.”

Amelia stood. “I have eternity, Castiel. A few minutes here and there aren’t anything in comparison.”

He left her then, feeling slightly better. If Sam had escaped, there was a good chance he’d contacted Dean about the state of the world. The two could be back hunting. That was likely where Dean was. Did he need to take Jimmy and search from a human standpoint? It would probably be more than the few days he’d promised Jimmy that their missions would take.

Castiel considered the action in relation to his other duties at present, weighing it fully. Dean was a friend and so was Sam, but with the Apocalypse done and their roles over, they weren’t in heaven’s plans that he was aware of. Since he was presently highest in administration, he ought to be aware of any specific plans for them. The plans in place were for Jimmy and Jo and the survival of the general vessel line. That was a prime concern. He had to protect that plan and those involved, not head off with Jimmy on a mission designed to alleviate his own curiosity and concerns.

He had duties. He thought Dean would understand the call of duty.

He’d wait awhile, work on heaven, decide how to approach Gabriel, then check to see if Dean and Sam had surfaced. If they hadn’t, then he’d consider more direct, personal action.

~~~~~~~~~~

It seemed to Jo that her mini breakdown drew them closer faster than anything. That intimate evening they’d both been hoping for happened that night. She’d expected a big build-up and drama, maybe even some awkwardness, but there was none. They simply went to bed and didn’t stop when they hit their usual stopping point in the course of good night kissing and cuddling. Their coming together felt like a natural, normal conclusion to the end of a day together.

Jo settled further into life with Jimmy.

He went to work, going to a job Gabriel had procured for him, one that was comparable to what he’d had before on the pay scale. As for the hours, it was a steady Monday through Friday workweek, with hours that still gave them plenty of time together. She enjoyed having a few hours during the day to herself again, concentrating on basic everyday living first, then her hunting skills second.

Within a month, she noticed signs that indicated she’d already become pregnant. Jo headed to the bar -- not to drink, but to wait for Jimmy. He was meeting her there. They planned to have a meal completely devoid of nutritional value and pass a few hours playing darts and shooting pool. She’d been delighted to discover that while he was a little rusty, he was decent enough at pool to make winning difficult for her.

She sat at the bar, nursing a soda and thinking about pregnancy. If she was pregnant, it had been quick to happen. Bizarrely quick. Was she ready? Could she even see herself with a baby? She needed to pick up a test, then find a doctor if it was positive.

Jo rested a hand on her stomach, trying to picture herself holding a baby. While she could easily picture Jimmy holding a baby, it was more difficult to imagine herself doing so. Difficult, yet not impossible. She tilted her head a little, imagining herself in a hospital bed, with a baby in her arms and Jimmy beside her.

There. It started to come together in her head. Jo smiled, a small one that was little more than a hint of pleasure.

“No booze tonight?”

Chuck was on her left and Jo blinked, a bit startled. Had he been sitting beside her long? “Chuck, hey. No, no booze tonight. Where’ve you been?”

“Around. You, I’m guessing, have been busy with the new husband. How was the wedding?”

They chatted about it, Jo giving him the details he seemed to want and sliding into her concerns about her physical state. It wasn’t the first time she’d divulged personal information to him. She knew in her gut that she could trust him with anything. “I mean, am I even ready to be a mother? Seriously, Chuck. It’s all moving faster than I thought it would.”

“You’ll be fine. And you have months to get used to the idea.” Standing and leaning over the bar, he snagged one of the pads of paper behind the counter and a pen. “I know a couple very good doctors. They’re both family physicians, so you can go to them for everything. No need to have a different doctor unless you want one.” He wrote the names down on separate pieces of paper. “One male doctor, one female. Take your pick. I’d trust either one and if you ask around, you’ll find the general opinion of both is excellent. Plus, both are accepting new patients. I’d get yourself in the door with one just in case. A basic physical wouldn’t hurt either you or Jimmy.”

She took the papers from him and slipped them in her pocket. “I’ll check them out. Thanks.”

He stretched out a hand and touched a finger to her bracelet. “Given him one of those charms yet?”

Jo put her elbow on the bar and raised her wrist. The bracelet had been a gift from her mom. Even though Jo had been wearing an amulet already to protect against possession, Ellen had insisted she have other jewelry options in case a necklace wasn’t appropriate jewelry. She’d given Jo the bracelet for Christmas, that last Christmas they’d been alive together. It had been specially made by a jeweler Bobby knew. She touched the charms, then the one he’d indicated. “I don’t know if he’d wear one.”

“Why wouldn’t he? If you ask him to, I’m sure he will.”

They talked for awhile longer, but by the time Jimmy arrived, Chuck had disappeared. Jo suppressed her disappointment. She’d wanted to introduce them and was beginning to think that wasn’t ever going to happen.

The thought of giving Jimmy a charm against possession hadn’t occurred to her before because what happened with Castiel was possession. Wouldn’t it interfere with that? She spoke to Gabriel about it, asked him to procure a charm or amulet for her and explained the reason. He told her it wouldn’t interfere and brought her a bracelet of the sort Sam or Dean would wear, an amulet worked into the leather strands. The design of the amulet was different than the designs she had, but she didn’t question Gabriel. He wouldn’t intentionally hurt Jimmy.

It wasn’t a large bracelet. Jimmy could wear his watch over it if he kept the band loose and it’d be hidden.

He was unsure about the gift, looking it over, holding it up. “You want me to wear a bracelet?”

“It’s for protection, Jimmy. Your watch will fit over it.” She demonstrated, unclasping his watch, putting the bracelet on his wrist and sliding the watch back over it. “See?”

“It’s a little uncomfortable like that.”

“Please wear it. I’d feel better if you did.” She deliberately used her feminine wiles, batting her lashes and pressing a lingering kiss to his knuckles.

Jimmy sighed. “Okay, I’ll wear it.”

Jo smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t that Jimmy didn’t trust Jo. He did. She had the best intention in giving him the anti-possession amulet. He understood her reasons completely. The demon outside the motel room had frightened her and she didn’t want to turn around some day and discover a demon in his place. He didn’t really want to wear the piece of jewelry, but Jo asked him to and she never asked him for anything.

However, Jimmy’s concern was that Castiel wouldn’t be able to come inside when he needed to as long as he wore it. So he called Gabriel while Jo was grocery shopping, explaining his concern and handing the charm to him.

Gabriel took it, looked it over with an amused little grin. “Potent charm. Construct is sound. Whoever made this did solid work and I do mean solid. This is pure mastery.”

“Would it keep Castiel out though instead of only demons?”

He glanced at Jimmy. “One way to find out.” For the span of about ten seconds, he winked out of view, but then he was back, handing Jimmy the leather and charm bracelet. “Put it on. I explained the concern to Castiel. He’ll be here in a moment.”

When it was on his wrist, he had a second to realize Castiel was there before he was surrounded by heat and it was obvious that his concerns were unfounded.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel left heaven when Gabriel called, the charm not hindering his take-over of Jimmy’s body in the least, though once inside, he could feel the power of it there. He raised the wrist, looked the bracelet over. “This looks like something Dean would wear. The design of the amulet isn’t one most humans would know however. Did you create it?”

“Me?” He pointed at himself. “There’s that possibility. Jo never specified where she wanted me to get it and I chose one that was angel friendly.”

“Why didn’t you reassure Jimmy instead of calling for me?”

“I didn’t think he’d believe me if I simply answered the question. He needed to experience for himself that it’s not a barrier between you.”

Castiel lowered his wrist. “I was coming to see you anyway.”

Gabriel’s brows rose and he crossed his arms. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”

He stared at Gabriel, then began to speak. “Sam Winchester was liberated from Lucifer’s prison. I’ve found evidence that is conclusive. He’s back hunting. Dean has disappeared and I believe he is either with Sam or will be soon. Ellen Harvelle was also returned to life.” He continued, laying out the matters that were bothering him until Gabriel tilted his head back a little and interrupted him.

“Are you asking for my help, Castiel?”

He tried not to shift with the discomfort he was feeling. There was no need to display any more human action than he had already in recent days. “I would appreciate any assistance you could give in restoring order. I can’t finish it alone. Without Jimmy full-time, I’m limited in what I can do on earth. You have no restrictions regarding your vessel so I would require you to take watch of earthly matters.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Gabriel looked around the living room. “I’d love to help, but…I’m still bound here.”

“Are you?” Castiel took a quick tour of the town and scrutinized the boundaries set up. When he returned, he suppressed a smile. “Jimmy and Jo are bound to this town by only your doing at present. You, however, aren’t bound by any. Your binding ended….” He squinted, attempting to ascertain the exact date by the dissipation of the power. “It ended on the day of their marriage. You’re a free angel, Gabriel, and have been. I believe you’re aware of that fact.”

Gabriel’s expression was almost comical. Chagrin mixed with surprise and annoyance. “You can see that.” It was apparent by his tone that he’d not expected Cas to be able to see that he wasn’t bound.

“I can. You’re hiding here. Why?”

“Do you care?”

He thought about it a moment. Did he care what Gabriel’s reasons were for pretending he couldn’t leave? He decided he did care. He needed to know the reason since he needed Gabriel’s aid. “Yes.”

“Dying is a sobering experience.”

“I’m familiar with it. I am a death ahead of you. I understand the entire experience.”

“But I’m an archangel, Castiel. We’re not used to being expendable.”

If he were human, he’d become upset with the implication that he himself had been expendable. However, he knew what Gabriel meant by that. Castiel had begun his existence so far lower on the power and hierarchy scale compared to Gabriel that he had been considered expendable. Archangels were the best and brightest. It had once been unfathomable that any of them would ever die. “You’re afraid. You’re afraid to return to duty.”

Gabriel didn’t dispute the charge.

“You told Jo her reaction to the presence of the demon was normal. Your reaction now is normal. I, too, was frightened to revive that first time. Do you think dying had no affect on you? You asked Jo that question. Turn it to yourself. Dying affects anyone, angels included. Archangels included. I believe you stay because you identify with her and with what she’s been feeling. The questions, the fears --”

“Quite the psychoanalyst now, aren’t you?”

“You’re comfortable with her, with them, sitting safely out of sight. Perhaps you occasionally look out to hear the latest gossip, yet you return here every time. You’re still running away and hiding.”

“So what if I am?” He shrugged. “It’s a cushy little gig, Castiel. Protect the two of them, make sure they have a chance.”

“You acted directly once, Gabriel. You faced Lucifer knowing full well you could be killed. That’s not the action of an angel willing to sit on the side forever.”

“That was the old me.”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think your fear will pass soon and you’ll begin to search for a way back into the fight.”

Castiel left Jimmy and Gabriel and headed back to heaven, comforted himself to know that Gabriel felt all those same things he himself had felt. He wasn’t alone in it.