Title: Nothing and Everything

Chapter 23

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean walked hand in hand with Jo down the hallway, taking as long as possible to get back to the lounge waiting area for the floor Gwen was on. They’d had a late lunch in the cafeteria, making plans for the long haul while Sam remained with Gwen, dozing at her bedside. Ellen had taken Jack to the motel for a nap and would return later in the day.

Gwen might be here awhile. It was a truth they needed to face. Little progress had been made in her recovery so he and Jo planned. What else could they do? They made a list of things they needed to drive back and get and it was decided that Jo and Ellen would be the ones to go while Dean stayed to watch Sam. Jack would go with Jo.

They stepped into the waiting area. Veronica Bennett was waiting, sitting in one chair. “Ronnie?”

She stood as he approached. “Dean.” Her glance slid to Jo. “Jo. Hello.”

“We were hoping you’d come,” Jo said, releasing Dean’s hand. She’d told Dean she thought there was a good chance Ronnie at least would come to the hospital.

“Is Ham with you?” Dean didn’t see him there. Had Ronnie come alone?

“Yes. He went in search of coffee while we waited for you. The nurse at the desk…Helena. She said you’re usually here at this time?

“Usually.” He gestured towards the hall Gwen’s room was down. “You could have gone in. Sam’s in there.”

She shook her head. “No. We weren’t ever properly introduced. Gwen and I, I mean. I couldn’t just go in there.” She gripped the handle of her purse with both hands. “A young woman named Sophie was here. She said she was a friend of yours. Very interesting girl. Kept us company for a few minutes.”

“She is interesting.”

Ronnie didn’t seem to know what to say, teeth gnawing on her lower lip in a way that was hardly elegant. She’d eaten off most of her lipstick and he realized that her clothes were still wrinkled from traveling. They must have come straight to the hospital.

Ham came through the door and joined them.

“We called the day she was admitted,” Dean said, noting that Ham wasn’t carrying a cup of coffee. Where had he been?

“Had to weigh things,” he replied.

Several hospital staff hurried down the hall. Dean didn’t think a thing of it. The first few times, they’d gotten excited, but it had never been for Gwen’s room.

“We made a mistake with Aaron and it cost us both him and knowing Gwen for over thirty years.” Ronnie threaded one arm through her purse handles and clasped her hands together. “If we all hadn’t been stubborn, maybe Ham could have done something and we could have known her. I want the chance to at least meet her.”

“You may have a wait to meet her while she’s awake,” Jo informed her gently. “She hasn’t woken up since the crash. Doctors don’t seem to know quite what to do. She’s breathing on her own, so there’s no need for a tube --”

Ham’s gaze shifted, expression bearing the slightest bit of smugness before he masked it. “Doctors don’t always have the right answers.”

There was the sound of footsteps running and Sam appeared in the doorway. “Dean! She’s awake! She just opened her eyes and woke up. Docs are taking her in for a scan and I have to get back, but…she’s awake.”

The news stunned them all, at least it seemed that way until Dean met Ham’s gaze with his own.

The older man half smiled. “Girl must have an angel looking out for her,” Ham mused.

In that second, Dean knew that the research he’d done into the Bennett family had born real fruit. The seventh son of a seventh son had the power to heal and Ham was the seventh son of a seventh son. Like who raised her or not, Ham had come through for his granddaughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The tests and scans took hours that Gwen hated to go through, barely keeping her impatience in check. She wanted to see Sam and the others, not spend hours more with hospital staff. When they finally wheeled her back into her room, Sam was still waiting.

“Hey.” He grinned and leaned over the bed, kissing her and hugging her before pulling his chair close. “You’re really awake.”

“I am. How long was I out?”

“It’s the end of April.”

“April? I missed Jo’s birthday!”

“But you’re awake for mine. Best present I’m getting this year.”

She smiled at that, but her smile faded as she thought about the accident. “They said it was a car crash?”

“Yeah. Pretty bad one. Your car is totaled. Not even Dean and Bobby could get it up and running again. We’ll have to get you a different one.”

“I liked that car, too.” There was a big blank spot in her memory. “I don’t remember the accident at all. I remember driving to pick up Mick, not being able to call you back, and being really annoyed by that.”

“Do you remember picking up Mick?”

Gwen thought about it, trying to break through that black spot in her memory. “No. I remember driving by myself, thinking it was so stupid to go get him when he could drive himself, but I’d promised Sophie --”

“It’s okay.” He cut her off with a shake of his head. “I’m sure it’ll come back.”

“Did I pick up Mick? Was he with me?” She saw a flare of emotion in Sam’s eyes, there and quickly gone, too fast to identify what it was. “He was, wasn’t he? Is he okay?”

He reached out and adjusted the covers even though they didn’t need adjusting. “He wasn’t with you when the paramedics got there.”

There was a lot he wasn’t saying and Gwen decided to let it go for now and go back to it when she’d recovered a bit more. “Okay.” She pointed at the carafe of water and cup. “Could you pour me some water?”

He poured her a cup and set it close on the rolling table. Sam slid his hands in his jeans pockets, shrugged, peered towards the door and back at her, shrugged again, and blurted out, “Will you marry me? As soon as I can get it set up?”

Gwen looked up at him. She didn’t have to think about it, her response without a pause. “Yes and yes.”

Sam released the breath he’d apparently been holding with a loud whoosh and grasped the rail on that side of the bed, half bending. “Yes.”

“Are you okay? Sit down.”

“I’m fine. I….” He returned to his chair and drew out his phone. He tapped a finger on it, searching for something. “You have no idea how many times I’d thought about asking and then you were in a coma and I couldn’t.” He held out the phone. On the screen was a picture of a ring. “You like this ring? I thought you’d like it. It’s at a chain place and if you like it I think there’s one here…. I could pick it up for you….”

“I do like it.” She handed his phone back.

“Good, good. I’ll…uh, pick it up then.”

“Good.”

“It is.”

The door cracked, Dean’s voice coming through. “We’ve been waiting out here like half an hour. You two done greeting each other yet?”

“Come in, Dean,” she called.

He stepped in the room and approached the bed. “You look a sight better than you did a few hours ago.”

“I think I probably feel better, too.”

“Awesome.” He jerked his chin at Sam. “Head out so Jo or Ellen can come in. Both if you take Jack for a few minutes.”

She had a few minutes with each of them before Sam was returning and Ellen, the last one in, was leaving.

He refilled her water and sat back down. “You up for more visitors?”

“More?” Gwen took a long drink of water. She felt a little like Sleeping Beauty waking from her long sleep. “I think everyone but Bobby has been by. He out there?”

He took her hand in his, squeezed it. “It’s not Bobby. He’ll be here later. It’s….” He licked his lips, looked at her like he wasn’t sure how to say whatever he had to say. “Dean found your grandparents, Gwen. Aaron’s folks. They’re here and they want to meet you.”

She about dropped the cup before she was able to put it on the rolling table. “Grandparents.”

“Yeah. Veronica and Abraham Bennett. Aaron’s real last name. Bennett. Carys was his grandmother’s maiden name. You were named after her, too. You share a first name.”

The information felt like more than she could handle. She blinked, shook her head, and licked her lips. “I have grandparents?”

“You do.”

“Living grandparents?”

“Yes.”

She swallowed hard and reached for the cup, draining it. “I’ve never had grandparents, Sam. Not that I remember. What do I say to them?”

“How about ‘hi’? That’s always a good beginning.”

It felt like she had a hundred conflicting emotions cycling through her. What if they hated her? What if she hated them? “I don’t know. They want to meet me?”

“They drove several hours to be here and you weren’t even awake then. Ronnie’s about dying to meet you, but they’re waiting for your permission before coming in.”

She glanced at the door. “Do you like them?”

“Don’t know them that well. I’ve only met them twice and the second time was a little heated. They’re not fans of the Campbells that’s for sure.”

“So we have something besides Aaron in common already.”

“You do. Give them five minutes face to face and if you don’t like them, plead fatigue and send them on their way. Or you can talk to them awhile. Find out answers to some of those questions you have. They’re hunters too, by the way. It’s the family business.”

“Like the Campbells and the Harvelles.”

He nodded. “Just like. They knew Jo’s dad.”

So much information to digest. “Dean found out all of this?”

“Five minutes with Ronnie made him curious who she really was. One thing led to another led to her being your grandmother.”

“How long have you known? I mean, you and Dean share most information.”

“Awhile, but…” He looked away and half laughed before sighing. “Ham and I didn’t hit it off and I was reluctant to tell you about them because of him. I was afraid he’d say ugly things to you and hurt you. You’ve been through too much recently to have to deal with that.”

“You were protecting me.”

“A little.” He held up one hand, thumb and forefinger slightly apart.

“A lot,” she corrected.

“Maybe.”

“Definitely.” She smiled, not really annoyed at that. His heart had been in the right place over it. “But they’re here now and you’re okay with them coming in?”

“I am. Ham apologized, which must have been really hard for him to do, but he did it for Ronnie and for you. If you can get answers, Gwen, then take them.”

She touched his cheek, rubbing her thumb along his cheekbone. “Okay. I’ll meet them. Bring them in.”

Gwen sat up a little straighter upon seeing the man who came in the room. It was the man who’d been there when she’d woken. He gave a quick shake of his head and she answered with a slight nod. If he wanted that moment a secret for now, she’d oblige him until she learned why. The woman beside him came forward, tears in her eyes.

“Hello, Gwen. I’m Veronica. Ronnie.” She gestured to the man. “Ham. We’re very glad to be here to meet you.”

“Hi. You’re Aaron’s parents? I hadn’t realized you were both still alive. And Sam tells me you’re hunters, too?” Gwen held out her hand to shake theirs and the ice was broken.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel found Death in the cafeteria, drinking coffee and watching the people. He wasn’t invisible, but rather inconspicuous. Death wasn’t hiding, he was simply…there, a fact of life, noticed only when one wished to or when tragedy forced notice. Wasn’t that how it was though?

“You let me believe she was going to die,” he said without preamble, joining Death at the table to stand beside him.

He set his cup down. “And she will…in due time.”

“Why?” His brows rose and Castiel softened his tone a bit. “Why did you let her live? What changed your mind? When I left that meeting, you had her death planned. You wanted Sam’s pain to catapult him into revenge, like with Jess. You wanted him filled with the need --”

“I let Gwen Campbell live because I can.”

He read between the lines of that statement and sank down into a chair. “She became useful somehow. What have you seen since the meeting that makes her suddenly necessary?”

“I can change my mind about who is slated to die.”

“You don’t.”

His sidelong glance was sly and faintly amused. “On the contrary, Castiel, if it keeps balance and order, I’m more than happy to let someone’s loved one live, even that of a Winchester.”

“What have you seen,” he repeated.

Now Death looked at him straight on. “Does it matter? She was saved. She lives and breathes. Is that not all you need to know?”

He sucked in a breath. Those were the same words he’d said to Dean. “And you’ll use her just like you use the Winchesters.”

“We all use them, Castiel. Even you. Thus it’s been and thus it shall be. You can’t change it. Them. Humans. We all shuffle them around in the name of proper balance and order and in the name of our jobs. The sooner you remember that, the better.” From the chair beside him, he lifted a stack of papers, placing them on the table. “Here. This is all you need to know of the coming days.”

“You’re sharing information?”

Death stared at him. “It’s information commonly found if you look for it. Think about the information, Castiel, and once you’ve thought hard about those little details, come find me and tell me if you won’t aid me. I believe you’ll do whatever you can to bend yourself to my plans.” He pushed back his chair and stood. “I’ll be waiting for your call.” He walked from the cafeteria, pausing a second on the way out to touch the shoulder of a man also leaving the room.

The man collapsed, clutching his chest.

Castiel pulled the papers close and began to read. He had awhile before his quarterly review.

~~~~~~~~~~

As they waited for Sam, Ham, and Ronnie, Dean and Jo chatted with Sophie. She’d returned, but had declined to go in and see Gwen, content to know she was awake and fine.

“Thanks for staying, Sophie.” Dean swept his glance over her. The raw place on her lip had healed, as had the cut on her cheek, but her arm was another story. It wasn’t healing as well as her doctor thought it should. She really was in a bad way and not just physically. A piece of her soul had been ripped away by the creature and Dean wasn’t sure she could ever get that piece back. Her dad, Chris, was coming to work with her while she had the cast on. She’d conceded it might be best for now and made the arrangements.

He’d briefed Chris on a video chat at the motel about her condition immediately after she’d announced he was flying in in three days, making sure to share the suspicions as to what had done that to her. Chris had been silent a long minute, one hand covering his mouth. He’d lit a cigarette, smoked it halfway down and cleared his throat before saying that he understood the situation. Dean had spent an hour talking with him, explaining the sort of behaviors Sophie could display. Chris hadn’t asked how Dean knew what to look for and promised he’d update them if he noticed any of those behaviors.

Sophie shook her head. “I couldn’t leave, not when he used me to get to you all. She’s okay then?”

It was the fifth time she’d checked. The words showed her concern, but her tone was off, displaying that disconnected feeling she’d told Jo she was having.

“She is.” Jo nodded. She was having trouble with the knowledge that part of Sophie’s soul was gone. It easily could have been her. She’d told him how she’d felt a part of her start to splinter away when Sam had come in and she’d lost consciousness. “You can go in and see her. I’m sure she’d like to see you.”

Dean put an arm around Jo. He felt very lucky that she hadn’t been hurt more than she had. “She’s awake and the damage the docs saw to her head is gone along with the worst of the other injuries.” Cuts that had been there were simply gone, as though they’d never been there at all. “She’ll have some recovery time, of course.”

“Good. That’s good.” With her good arm, Sophie tucked her long blond hair behind her ears. “That thing in Mick…. He could have hurt her too badly to come back from.”

“What are you going to do now? You have a plan?” Jo pressed closer to Dean. He felt her hand grasp his shirt.

Sophie looked down at the floor and back up. Tears glistened in her eyes. Dean was glad to see tears, for it reinforced that she wasn’t fully gone like Sam had been. What had made Sophie the woman they’d known was still mostly there, it was just…fractured. He hoped they could find a way to get that missing piece back to her. “Hunt him down, kill it. Somehow. He called himself shadow and darkness, the thing that creeps in and steals souls. I agree with Sam, I think he’s a soul eater, but I’ll do some more research. Dad and I’ll work on it. Either it’ll kill Mick or I’ll have to. Maybe he’ll survive, I don’t know. Maybe he’s already dead and it’s just riding his body. All I know is I can’t let it keep him. One way or another, I’m going to save him.”

Sam stepped from Gwen’s room.

“Pretty tall order, Sophie.” Dean studied her. She didn’t look tough enough to swat a fly, but he knew looks were deceiving. Sophie, like all the current women in his life, had iron in her will. If she said she was going to save Mick, she would. Eventually. “If you need help --”

“Thank you, Dean. I’ll let you know.”

“You don’t have to go it alone.” Jo released Dean and stepped closer to her.

Sophie smiled, sad and sweet, yet not as sad and sweet as it should have been. Wrong. It was slightly wrong. “Old habits die hard.”

“Or you’ll just die.” Sam closed the door so Gwen, and Ham and Ronnie, wouldn’t hear them. He’d taken them in to meet her, accepting Ham’s apology for their argument at the cabin. “Don’t be stupid. Take the help. Call us when you find it, because as much as you want this thing…I want it just as bad. It almost killed my girlfriend. It’s days are numbered.” He glanced at Jo and Dean. “If you’ll excuse me, I have a couple calls to make.”

They watched him walk away. Dean waited until he rounded the corner at the end of the hallway. “That thing made a huge mistake going after Gwen.”

Jo looked up at him. “Dean?”

“If you think I’m scary when I’m mad, you haven’t seen Sam.”

An hour later, when Gwen had announced that she couldn’t stay awake any longer and needed to rest, they adjourned to the hospital lobby. Ronnie, Jo, Ellen, and Sam sat together in one group of chairs, Ronnie holding Jack and murmuring how big he was for his age. She was enjoying talking with them, relaxing more and more as the minutes passed.

Dean stood beside Ham and said in a low voice, “Quite a coincidence, you showing up and her waking up minutes after.”

“Angel.” Ham shrugged. “What else could it be?”

“Not an angel, just her grandfather, trying to atone for not saving his son.”

“You have proof?” A small smile was on his lips.

“Seventh son of a seventh son has the power to heal people. That’s what you meant wasn’t it? When you said you could have saved him.”

He didn’t seem surprised Dean knew about it. “Old wives’ tale, boy. Not a shred of truth to it.”

“Sure.” Dean nodded. “Like how a child born with a caul has second sight isn’t true. Aaron knew about Mia, didn’t he? His sight eventually told him.”

“I think it did.” A confirmation of Dean’s suspicions. Ham could heal people and Aaron had had second sight. He wondered if there were other abilities in the family, stretching back generations. If they went back far enough, what would they find? How would Sam react to hearing stories of those abilities? “I think he was too proud to ask me for help after we’d argued so badly about the woman. He was my son. No shortage of pride between us.”

“So he sought the Trickster, played with fire, and Mia anticipated him.”

“She had him so wrapped around his finger…. Made me sick to see him under her spell.” He sighed. “But I never could deny Nic her fondest wishes. I’d give my wife the world if I could. She wanted to meet Gwen. How could I not make that happen if I had the power to do it?”

“You can own up to healing Gwen, you know. Things we’ve dealt with? That power is nothing weird.”

“It’s a wives’ tale,” he insisted, that small smile remaining.

“Course it is.” He looked at Sam, glad to see him smiling and relaxed. Having Gwen wake up had improved his mood a hundredfold. Of course, having her agree to marry him had improved that even more. Sam was practically giddy.

“I think Aaron would’ve liked Sam. Seems like his kind of man. And he would’ve been proud of Gwen. Jo’s mother was telling Nic and I some stories about her. Sounds like she’s turned into a damn fine hunter.”

“Would he have raised her in the life?”

“Hell, yes,” was the quick response. “Aaron lived and loved the job. There was never another life for him. Said it was a noble calling, that saving a single life was worth the hardship and pain.”

Dean thought he would have liked to have met Aaron.

They parted company for the night and returned the next day and the next. Gwen’s recovery was being called a miracle. Dean didn’t correct anyone and Gwen suffered through more tests to confirm she was well. He spent the days mostly helping Sam with arrangements and when they were nearly ready (just waiting on Bobby’s pastor friend), he approached Ham and Ronnie, taking them out in the hall to speak with them.

“Before we all get too cozy, I should warn you that we’re death on pretty much everyone who knows us. Ask Jo, Ellen, Gwen, and Bobby.”

Ronnie and Ham exchanged a long look and laughed.

“Dear boy,” Ronnie began. “It’s the nature of our job.”

“It’s why we tend to keep our family close, run in clans. Don’t worry about us, Dean. Nic and I’ve had a long run and we discussed this. We’ll risk it. It’s our risk to take.”

“I’d like to hear more about the Bennett family. Might give all of us an understanding of parts of our families we don’t quite get yet.”

“Ronnie’ll talk your ears off.”

She elbowed Ham. “As if you wouldn’t.” Having finally met Gwen seemed to have taken much of the tension and grief from both of them.

Ham’s grin was lopsided and, between the two, he could see a family resemblance to Gwen. It was subtle, not like the blatant resemblance Gwen had had to Mia. This was a resemblance in a gesture, in an expression, in the way they all moved. “You’re the garrulous one, dear. I’m the quiet muscle that sits back and enjoys the show you put on.”

Sometimes, he wondered if he and Jo would be like this if they lived that long: comfortable and still playful after a life together of hunting. “You always been in cursed objects?”

“No.” Ham sobered. “I grew up on ghosties and beasties. My dad grew up chasing wendigos, shape shifters, and werewolves. Some do that: become experts in a certain kind of monster.”

“Yeah, I guess I knew that already. Met a guy once had a hard-on for vampires and only vampires.”

“Objects were easier after Aaron died,” Ronnie said. “They could be snatched up with a minimum of fuss and little gossip from other hunters. It took us off the main radar.”

“Allowed you breathing room?”

“Some.” Ham put his arm around Ronnie. “We still had our share of things come at us out of revenge over the years, but we made it work.”

“Togetherness.” Ronnie looked through the open door at Jo. “Your wife is a lovely woman, Dean. Reminds me a lot of me when I was that age.”

“Oh, is she an opinionated, stubborn hellcat, too,” Ham asked, his brows raising.

Dean couldn’t help but laugh. That description could describe Jo on occasion. “When she’s of a mind to be. You staying?”

Ronnie shook her head. “Not this time. We’ve spoken with Gwen and she understands. Sam as well. This day is to be shared with those closest to them and Ham and I aren’t close. Not yet. I hope to be some day so…. We’ll be in touch. She has questions and we’ll answer them the best we can. Seeing grandchildren is a rare thing for hunters. We’ll be available.”

It was just one of several mentions that had been made about grandchildren and Dean was once more struck by the difference between them and Samuel in that regard. Samuel had eschewed getting to truly know his grandsons in order to get his daughter back. Ronnie and Ham however, Ronnie in particular, were leaving Aaron dead, choosing to know Gwen instead. It may have taken them awhile to make that decision, but it had been made and they weren’t going to back away now. They’d take whatever time they had left with Gwen.

Ronnie stepped forward and Dean found himself embraced in a long hug. “Thank you,” she whispered, and moved back.

“You’re welcome, Ronnie.”

They walked away and he returned to the room. Jo was helping Gwen get ready. She’d done Gwen’s hair in loose curls and tried to make her look not so much like she was getting married in a hospital gown.

“No makeup, Jo. I can hardly wash it off easily.”

“A little mascara,” she coaxed, holding out the wand.

“No.”

“Gloss? Please? Just a little. So you don’t look washed out in pictures.”

Gwen sighed. “Okay. Gloss I’ll accept.”

There was a tap on the door and Jo hurried to put the makeup away and step out in the hall. Dean glanced at the baby carrier. So far, so good. Jack was still asleep.

“How are you feeling?” He leaned against the side of the bed.

Gwen touched her hair, arranging one curl. “Weak. Ready to go home.”

“I hear you.” He looked at her, remembering the first time they’d met and how rocky those days had been. He hadn’t been sure he liked her or any of the other Campbell relatives and he certainly hadn’t trusted them. “You ever think about how far we’ve come since we all met?”

“Sometimes. I sometimes think none of it’s real.”

“It’s real.” Dean nodded. There were a few things he wanted to say before the ceremony started and he cleared his throat. “You make Sam happy, Gwen, and I never thought I’d see him happy like this. You get him and that’s…it’s hard to find that, especially for us. We all appreciate what you’re bringing to this family.”

“Dean --”

He held up a hand. “We weren’t blood related but you’ve proven yourself family and now…. This is a good day.”

She smiled. “Don’t get sappy on me, Dean.”

“Hey, it’s a wedding. Sappiness is allowed.”

The door opened, Ellen looking in. “You ready in here?”

Dean looked over his shoulder and back at Gwen. “Looks like it’s time, Supergirl.”

Gwen nodded. “Ready.”

Bobby and his pastor friend came in first, followed by Sam, who was flanked by Jo and Ellen. Dean swallowed past a sudden lump in his throat. Tradition be damned, he thought. Nothing wrong with the groom being walked down a makeshift aisle to his bride. Jo kissed Sam’s cheek and went to sit by Jack’s carrier and the window. Ellen touched Sam’s cheek and smoothed his shirt, tugging him down to whisper something in his ear that made him smile. She left him there at the bedside and went to sit by Jo.

Dean took Gwen’s hand in his.

“Who gives this woman?” Pastor Terry opened the book in his hands.

“I do.” Dean raised his free hand.

Sam stepped forward and Dean put Gwen’s hand on Sam’s, clasping both of theirs between his.

“She’s all yours, Sammy. God help you.”

Gwen laughed. “Gee, thanks, Dean.”

“You’re a handful.” He winked at her. “I think he likes you that way.” He joined Jo, Ellen and Bobby.

In the back of Dean’s mind swirled those things Castiel had admitted and the certainty that Cas knew something more about Gwen. He had a terrible suspicion that he didn’t want to entertain the more he thought about Gwen’s accident, the creature that had been there, and Castiel’s words.

He was desperate for Dean to leave it alone. This wasn’t like his words to Gwen on her biological family. This was something truly terrible that Cas was afraid of Dean knowing. He’d heard that truth in Castiel’s voice.

All the talk of balance and order. He hated when supernatural beings talked about those things, as it usually didn’t mean anything good.

Would Cas have caused the crash or allowed it to happen just to push Sam into revenge? He’d know that would be the result of Gwen nearly dying at the hands of the creature. Sam wanted it badly for that and for the threat it meant to all of them. Dean could hardly let him go after it alone. It was a betrayal of trust and friendship if he’d engineered the accident or if he’d known ahead of time and stood by, letting Gwen get hurt. He’d know that Sam and Dean would deal with him eventually if they found that the case.

Dean didn’t want to think about it, so he put it aside for awhile and watched Sam become a married man. It was supposed to be a happy day.

Please, he thought, let us be happy for a little while longer.

~~~~~~~~~~

Now that the moment had arrived, Sam was nervous. He hadn’t been nervous when he’d made the arrangements, legal and otherwise. There’d been nothing to be nervous about, the arrangements falling into place quickly and easily. He hadn’t been nervous…until he’d walked in the room and seen Gwen waiting for him. She hadn’t let Jo do much with makeup and he was glad. He liked her without makeup, her skin bare with a touch of natural blush on her cheeks. It was the Gwen he was used to, the one he loved.

The ceremony passed in what felt like seconds until all that was left was to seal their vows with a kiss.

He touched her face as though for the first time, careful, gentle. Sam was half afraid this was a cruel dream and if he moved too fast to kiss her it’d pop and he’d wake to find her dead.

Her lips parted and she smiled. Her hands raised, slid into his hair. “What are you waiting for,” she whispered. “Kiss your bride, Sam.”

In a single second, he envisioned a life for them with those same things he saw Dean and Jo having. The love, the trust, the family. He saw it all, good things that’d always be mingled with the bad, but that was life. It was their life, the life they’d chosen, the life they’d live together. They were hunters, for better or worse.

The only curse he’d thought he’d been under had been in his own mind, the glass Gwen had once told him he was looking through his own fears. It was all in his head and he was ready to leave it behind. A scary proposition. His fears had become comfortable, they’d been with him so long…. He needed to change. He had to make the decision to do it and couldn’t be afraid of the future. Once, he’d heard Jo talking about grabbing at life and taking chances because she’d been dead and it would be a waste to throw away a second chance at life by not living it. Sam thought it was a good plan. To live life. He wanted to really live with Gwen and take whatever time they had together.

It was what these weeks at her bedside had hammered home and he hadn’t understood it until she’d returned from the edge of death. He’d forever regret the life they hadn’t lived together if they didn’t just live it.

He slid his thumb along her lower lip. “I’m done waiting,” he told her and kissed her.

Sam Winchester kissed his wife.

He felt naked, exposed, and vulnerable, but like Dean had told him months earlier, he felt the shackles of the past finally dropping from him.

He felt light.

He wasn’t a monster. Nor was he cursed.

He had a woman who loved him and the life he’d never thought possible after Jess had died.

Sitting back, he looked over at Dean. Dean didn’t say anything, but his grin said it all. Their family of two had grown into far more than they’d both anticipated and in the end, whatever happened, they were truly blessed.

It was about damn time.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel and Abigael stood just out of sight, watching the proceedings and when the ceremony was over, and Sam and Gwen were married by law, they walked from the hospital side by side.

“He refuses to believe it wasn’t us who healed her,” Abby said.

He nodded. “I know. Ham may eventually tell Gwen the truth and then he’ll know.”

“He’ll be upset with us again.”

“It seems our lot now to be at odds with them.”

Abigael took his arm in her hand, drawing him to a stop. “Sam is pissed by what happened to her, Castiel. The rage inside him is almost incomprehensible.”

“That was the intention I assume.” He’d figured out quite a lot from looking back over the pages Death had let him see. Gwen had been needed alive so as not to completely destroy Sam in grief. Losing two women he’d loved would have made Sam unable to follow Death’s own plan for him. Death needed him clear-headed and coldly rational, a state he was already sliding into. He needed him that way because….

Sam would be the one to restore the order that was tipping out of balance. It was slow so far, the creature feeling it’s way into the present times, learning about the world it had woken to, and when it was ready, it’d explode into action. Castiel had read the reports of what it had previously done when loose in the world. It was a bringer of misery and pain to any who crossed it and Sam would play the role Aaron Bennett had once played. He’d be the one who’d gather the hunters needed to trap the creature and he’d be the one who knew what to do.

At least, that was what Castiel read into the information. Death never laid everything out nice and neat. He supposed it could be Dean and not Sam, but it’d be one of the two. That he was certain of.

Only the Winchesters, Death had said.

Death had also been right about Castiel. He would assist him because of what he’d seen in the pages, though he’d despise every minute of it. Castiel had weighed the information and come to that conclusion. He’d help Death.

He and Abigael had to stall Sam and Dean on action until the timing was right. Timing in this was everything and he almost laughed. Wasn’t it always?

A certain amount of destruction had to occur for immediate balance once the creature was caught and returned to it’s prison. A delicate process handled by Fates and angels. He supposed he’d be seeing a lot more of the Fates. They were going to have to work at odds with Sam and Dean, once more manipulating them and events, a thing he’d thought had been left behind. The necessity made him sick to his stomach. He didn’t like manipulating them. There were details Castiel didn’t know, but that was the gist of all he’d learned. An angel’s lot.

He supposed he could talk to Sam and Dean about it, yet knew all he’d get for his efforts was a big, fat ‘leave us out of this’ followed quickly by ‘heavenly plans suck’. They’d want immediate action and it couldn’t be immediate, not for balance. They’d argue that it wasn’t fair and it wasn’t, but much of human life wasn’t fair.

Castiel was getting sick of the words ‘balance and order’.

“He’ll kill us if he finds out,” she said. “We let her get hurt. We stood by and watched.”

“He will,” he agreed with a nod, “but it wasn’t you at the scene. I’m the one who was there and could have stepped in and spared them all this pain.” He could have…if he’d been suicidal. Death would have reaped him in an instant if he’d interfered. The Fates would have seen to that.

While Sam and Dean had come a long way in setting aside their ingrained fears and their lives had changed for the better, more change was coming with the winds of time.

“I thought our role would be better, that we’d protect them, that things had changed, yet we’re still party to manipulating them.” She sounded sad, yet resigned. “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

For the greater good. To save the world from the creature that had been released. Timing. Things had to click into place at the right moment to work. And it did suck.

He was reminded of the challenge of friendship with humans. It required a balance itself and Castiel thought he’d learned the lesson Death had tried to impart to him by tying his hands in regards to Gwen’s death. He had to put his feelings aside and do his job whether Sam and Dean would understand it or not, whether he understood it or not. He couldn’t be a friend in human terms though he wanted to be just that; couldn’t let himself feel what they felt in sometimes unfair circumstances. Balance and order must be maintained and that would require him to step in at times and act. He’d have to act even if Sam and Dean didn’t understand those actions. Even if they thought he was betraying them.

He pinched the bridge of his nose.

Abigael was right. The more things changed, and they had changed for the better, the more they stayed the same.

There would be Winchester wrath and Winchester retribution laid down against all who’d wronged their own.

That day was coming.

That day was soon.

“It’s how it is. We’re angels, Abigael. We’re still instruments of God and heaven and can be used as instruments of Fate and Death. We are still hammers that can be sent to fall upon humanity…or a single man to cause a chain reaction. Job was a righteous man. He didn’t deserve what fell on him, yet he was allowed to suffer.” In the end, Job had been rewarded. That story ended well. Cas hoped there’d be future rewards in store for the Winchesters and not unending pain.

He’d had his quarterly review, a rebuke couched inside words of advice. Some may be guardians, caretakers of certain humans, but they were all still angels. He’d been reminded of that fact. They weren’t sweetness and light, kittens and butterflies. They were fierce. They were righteous.

And they had a job to do. Castiel had a job to do. It wasn’t going to be pretty or fun, but it was his.

“We’ll do what has been decided. We do our job, whether we like it or not. There’s still more for us, and the Winchesters, to accomplish.” He looked at her and saw in her eyes the knowledge of future events, of more things than he would be allowed to know beforehand. She knew what was going to play out. Somewhere along the way, Abigael had become his equal. She’d formed her own connections and Castiel suddenly realized that while they were allies, if he was destined to fall as these events played out, she’d let it happen if it was required. He could die in the coming months.

Even the life of an angel could be cut short if the Fates determined it had to be such.

“I’ll do my job,” she said with certainty. There was truth wrapped in the words. She’d do her job and protect her charges to her own death. She’d protect them from monsters, from humans, and, if need be, from other angels.

Winchester wrath and Winchester retribution.

Castiel hoped he and Abigael wouldn’t be among those that fell for the role they had to play in the course of doing their jobs. Would Sam and Dean understand? Could they possibly understand? “Be careful, Abigael.”

“You too, Castiel.”

He watched her walk away.

God help them all.