Three: Lunch

"Um...Cher?  We all like to eat lunch."

"No." Rogue was spread-eagled in the doorway, blocking the way, hands in a death grip on the doorjamb.  Her beautiful face was set in determination.

"A loaf of bread and a package of lunchmeat?"

"No."

"One bag of chips?"

"They're mine, Remy."

"Hand us out anyt'ing you not int'rested in eatin'."

"No."

"Cher..." His stomach was gnawing a hole in his backbone.  "Please!"

"Ah'm lookin' fer somethin' salty and sweet, understand, Swamp Rat?  Ah know it's here somewhere an no one's gettin' anythin' until Ah find it."

"Why not?"

"Cause one of you hairy apes might try an' steal it!"

"Only 'cause we hungry, Cher."

"Eat out!"

"Jean hid de car keys.  All of dem."

She clasped her hands together over her heart and rolled her eyes.  "Oh, wah.  My heart, it's bleedin', Sugah."

Remy turned his head, shook it at the other three men.  A chorus of groans came down the hall, but Rogue still held firm.

"Starve.  Ah need salty and sweet, Remy.  It's a major priority right now.  Ah need it so bad ah can almost taste it."

He refrained from suggesting she simply mix the cheesecake and potato chips together.  Last month he'd gotten a black eye for a similar suggestion.

"Do you understand?  Salty.  Sweet.  Together.  Not salty alone.  Not sweet alone.  Salty and sweet." She turned, went to the fridge and opened it, dropping to her knees before it.  "Salty..."

Rogue glanced at the doorway, found Remy gone and glanced at the bottom shelf.  Beer.  Logan's' beer.  The good stuff.  Mmm....beer.  It was like salty.  Sort of.  Rogue opened one can and took a long swallow. "Good." She guzzled it, then reached for another. "Need salty...."

~~~~~

"We out of luck.  She ain't movin'." Remy sighed heavily.

The men had moved into the rec room to plan a military assault.  Kind of.

"Any luck on those keys, Cyke?"  Wolverine asked.

Scott shook his head.  "Jean's got them in our room somewhere.  She's locked the door and is super-cleaning."

Bobby opened his mouth, then ducked behind the couch with a yelp.

Three heads turned.  Jubilee walked in carrying a five-pound box of assorted chocolates that was half-empty.  It'd been full that morning.

"Darlin..." Chocolate is food, Wolverine thought, or at least that's was Jubilee maintains.  "Could I have..."

"Jest one, P'tite."

"Yeah, Jubilee, just one."

Bobby stayed still on the floor behind the couch, not daring to breathe.

Jubilee peered at them suspiciously.  "Why don't you get your own from the kitchen?"

Collective "uh's" from Remy, Scott and Logan.

She held out the box, then pulled it back.  "Midol?"

They cringed.

Her lips tightened into a thin line.  "Some bitch took mine and won't fess up."  She popped two chocolates into her mouth and turned to go.

"You..." Scott started, swallowed when she turned back.  "You got into the kitchen?"

"Uh-huh.  Rogue made me sandwiches, but I ended up throwing them away.  I just wasn't hungry after all."  She ate another chocolate and strolled down the hall.

"We're starving and Roguey makes Jubie sandwiches?"  Wolverine crossed his arms.  "What did we do wrong?"

Scott sighed.  "Nothing, but we have penis'.  That's a strike against us right there, especially at this time of the month."

Remy reached for the phone.  "We order four extra large super combos and a Hawaiian and give Rogue de extra.  Sound good, mes Amis?"  He ordered.  "Forty minutes tops."

"I'll meet them at the gate."  Scott volunteered.

"We'll all go."  Bobby said from the floor.  "Is she gone?"

"Get up, Drake.  Quite bein' such a pussy." Wolverine patted his pocket.  Damn.  Cigars.  That's what he'd been after earlier.  "We can't all go.  Jean'd kill us."

"I run interference in case any of dem object."  Remy moved towards the front hall.

"Fuckin' Mission Impossible."  Wolverine muttered, rolling his eyes.