Title: Into The Woods
Chapter 8

~~~~~~~~~~

“How do you deal with a difficult woman in the long-term?”

Dean blinked. A second ago, he’d been watching Jo and Gwen doing some goofy square dance in a clearing just to get Jack back in a good mood. The skunk had followed them for awhile on their hike and when it had veered off into the woods, Jack had wanted to go after it. He’d started to throw a fit when they wouldn’t let him. Now, Dean was in a different clearing looking at Balthazar, who was gazing at him with expectation. “‘Scuse me?”

“A difficult woman? Opinionated? Stubborn?” He rolled his eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh. “If only Gabriel were alive. I’d ask him, but instead of his fount of experience to draw from, I have you. None of my brethren are adventurous enough to attempt a relationship of the sort I have with Atropos. You, on the other hand, married a difficult woman. Now tell me, Dean.” He crossed his arms. “Difficult women. Is it best to avoid confrontation or meet it head on?”

“Jo isn’t difficult. I’ll give you the opinionated and stubborn part though.”

“Dean. Please. May I remind you that you’ve referred to your lovely bride as a pain in the ass on several occasions?”

He pointed a stern finger at the angel. “You don’t call her that.”

“Merely reminding you of what you yourself have voiced in the past. Come now. I need your wisdom. I already used your quoting of song lines and found the technique quite satisfactory, but I need more techniques to use.”

“I never told you about that.”

“No. Your life is an open book. I took a glance and took your example. It worked, so I’m willing to listen to more of your human words of wisdom regarding females.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be playing paintball right now?” All the angels in the camping group were. Cas had made it clear that they were going to be spending a chunk of the day in mock battle.

“Focus, Dean. I am open to your wisdom here. Teach me.”

“You’re whacked.” Dean looked around the clearing, wondering what direction he needed to start walking to get back.

“That may be, but I’m in a delicate position right now. I have a volatile, difficult female demanding to know if I love her and where our relationship is going when I have no idea on either of those matters. I’m in a bit of a bind here. She could end me with one vengeful flick of her feathered pen. I need advice.”

“You’re the one got in bed with her.” He glanced up at the sky, but a canopy of leaves shielded his view. Dean couldn’t tell where the sun was. He pulled out his phone and pressed the compass app.

“Your point?”

Seriously? Did Balthazar truly not understand what that meant? “Am I supposed to care if she ends you?” He was inclined to help in that case. With a glance at his phone, he let out a disgusted snort. The app had gone haywire, refusing to settle down on a direction. “Where the hell did you bring me? Which way is north?”

“Just give me a few words of wisdom and I’ll take you back to your bland little stroll with your family.”

Closing the app, Dean put his phone away. “Advice, huh? Okay. Make sure you show her you care about her. You do care about her?” He crossed his arms.

“Of course I do. I simply don’t know if I love her.”

He thought a moment. “Treat her like she’s the most important person in the world. A queen. An empress. A goddess.”

“If I wanted a goddess, Kali is available.”

“Balthazar.”

“Well, it’s true. She’s actively looking for love.”

“Scary. The point is, you want your woman to feel special and doing all that is a start.”

“I spend time with her. I ducked out of several meetings with Castiel this past quarter to meet with her. She should feel special. Castiel isn’t only a friend, he’s technically my boss.” He mimicked Dean’s stance.

“Wow, that’s…touching. Ducking responsibility for a quickie.”

“I never said it was quick.”

Dean sighed. “Do you do things for her?”

A smug smirk tugged his lips. “Do I ever.”

“Aside from that. Bring her flowers, candy? Take her nice places? Give her gifts?”

“Is that what you do for your difficult woman?”

Dean gritted his teeth. “Jo isn’t difficult and if you say that one more time, you can fend for yourself.”

“You keep saying she isn’t difficult when she so obviously is and --”

“That’s it.” He shook his head. “Take me back now. You insult my wife and have the nerve to ask for my help? No. Be an adult angel and deal with it on your own.”

Balthazar snorted and grasped his arm. Dean found himself back in the clearing with Jo, Gwen, and Jack. However, Sam and Sean were now gone.

“What happened?” Gwen picked up Jack. “You were there and then you weren’t.”

“We looked and looked,” Jack informed him. “I found Kitty Two again.”

Sure enough, the skunk was in the clearing. It was lying down looking like it was waiting with them. Dean was beginning to wonder if the skunk was some sort of supernaturally changed being who’d taken a liking to them. It certainly seemed to understand Jack when he talked to it.

“And now Sam’s gone.” Jo closed the canteen in her hand. “What’s going on?”

“Balthazar.” The name should be explanation enough and he saw Jo’s eyes widen.

“Still having problems with Atropos is he,” she asked.

“Ahh…. You know about that?”

“Let’s just say I hate playing therapist. Where did he take you?”

“Some place where the compass didn’t work. I don’t know. How long was I gone?”

“About ten minutes.”

He glanced down at his watch. “I’ll give Sam five before Balthazar decides his advice is useless or ole Balty pisses him off and he demands to be brought back. We got anything to eat with us? I’m kind of hungry.”

Jo handed him a baggie of jerky and he sat on a log while they waited.

~~~~~~~~~~

While Dean’s disappearance was sudden, it didn’t really alarm Sam too much considering there were angels nearby. It was something one of them could do and he doubted much of anything supernatural was going to get by them, especially considering both Castiel and Abigael were there. Still, they made the effort of looking. Instead of Dean, they found the skunk. It trotted right over to Jack and rubbed up against his legs. The boy was ecstatic that ‘kitty two’ had come back.

Gwen pulled a vial from her jacket pocket and sprinkled the skunk with the contents. It didn’t sizzle, so he guessed the animal wasn’t possessed. She shrugged. “Worth a shot.”

“I guess we wait,” Sam asked Jo and Gwen. “Maybe Castiel needed him for something?”

Before they could answer, Dean was back. Sam caught a glimpse of his annoyed expression before he found himself in another clearing.

“Sam, Sam, Sam.”

“What the --” He whirled and saw Balthazar across the clearing from him. “You. What do you want?”

“Dean was no help whatsoever, which quite surprised me given his history with women, so I turn to you now for advice on women.” His glance slid down Sam and back up, lingering on Sean in the backpack against Sam’s chest. “I must be desperate.”

“Help with what?”

“You know I’m involved with Atropos?”

“Yeah, and?”

“How do you deal with your difficult woman?”

Was he implying Gwen was difficult? Where did he get that idea? “Gwen isn’t difficult.”

Balthazar blinked, let out a scoffing breath, and blinked again. “Are you high? Delusional? I know Dean certainly is. He thinks his wife is even-tempered.”

“Jo is and Gwen isn’t difficult.”

“I see you aren’t going to be any help either.”

He wrapped his arms around Sean and considered the angel a moment. “Are you and Atropos having relationship problems?”

“Sshhh!” Balthazar held up his hands. “Don’t say her name so loud. She has that ‘mom hearing’ your wife and Jo have.” He nodded. “Yes, I’m having issues of a sort. She wants to commit and I’m not entirely certain I’m ready for that.”

“I think you should be committed,” Sam said, unable to keep the fervent tone from his voice.

He twitched a brow. “How did you decide Gwen was the woman for you?”

“Well, it wasn’t overnight. It was months of thinking and soul-searching and then when she was a breath from dying I realized I didn’t want to waste any more time if she woke up and she did wake.”

“I don’t have that sort of gauge with Atropos.” He almost seemed sad about that.

“Do you love her?”

“What is love? She keeps asking me if I love her or not and I don’t know really. I love that she’s never quite the same female whenever we meet. There’s always another facet of her to ferret out and enjoy.”

“Sounds to me like you’re hooked.”

“Perhaps I am. However, she’s also opinionated, stubborn, doesn’t forgive easily, and is, quite frankly, an arbitrary bitch.”

None of that appeared to bother Balthazar in the least. “That’s Fate for you. You can’t change her, Balthazar. Can you live with that?”

“Yes, of course I can. I have so far and I don’t want to change her. I like her for who and what she is.”

“Then I think you have your answer. Keep doing what you have been and be honest with her. It’s okay to be unsure of your feelings, especially since you angels are sort of new to it. Talk to her about it.”

“That’s your advice? Talk about it?”

“Pretty much. Honesty in a relationship is best. I mean, if you’re not sure --”

Exasperation slid across his face. “Useless. You and Dean both.”

Sam had to laugh at that. “What sort of advice are you looking for? You’ve been with her this long. You’re obviously doing something right. You admit you’re intrigued by her on a daily basis and care about her. There is no test that’ll tell you if you love her or not.”

“There has to be something. An easier way.”

“Uh…nope. Sorry. Relationships are hard and they don’t always work.”

“Damn.” He waved a hand. “You’re certain?”

“Yeah. You’re going to have to work for this. Is she worth it?”

Balthazar’s face reflected anxiety mixed with determination. He didn’t answer and Sam was suddenly back at the other clearing, where Dean was telling Jo and Gwen about his run-in with Balthazar.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was late afternoon when the angels tromped back to see them. There was no evidence of their day with paint, though Abigael seemed rather smug with herself as she settled in one chair.

“Who won,” Dean asked, searching for the rest of the marshmallows. They’d borrowed the bag the angels had had and he knew they’d been in the food box when they’d left for an after lunch stroll by the water, all sealed up tight, but he couldn’t seem to find them.

Castiel stepped over to join him. “Abigael and Jael successfully navigated their team effort and --”

“I wasn’t even trying,” Uzziel insisted. “We should have a rematch.”

“They caught you daydreaming, huh?” Dean gave up trying to find the marshmallows. “Sorry, family. The marshmallows are gone. Unless one of you put them somewhere else.”

“Why does our food keep disappearing? Where is it going? I don’t buy that raccoons are getting it all.” Jo moved to the container and began to take an inventory. “That box of graham crackers we borrowed from the angels is here, but now the chocolate bars are gone. Do raccoons even eat chocolate?”

“Wasn’t me this time.” Dean denied it with a shake of his head. “I restrained myself.”

The debate on what could have happened to the food continued until Jack let out a scream. It was the ant scream and he ran to Jo, clinging to her leg.

She pried his hands loose and crouched down. “It’s okay, sweetie. They won’t hurt you. We’ve been over this.”

“You were serious at our camp when you said he’s afraid of ants?” Uzziel’s brows rose as he asked the question and he excused himself from the conversation he was having with Abigael.

“It’s normal for a kid to be afraid of something like that.” Dean recognized that his response was a tad testy. “Snakes, spiders…clowns….”

“Ants,” Sam said. “They’re hardly the same as clowns, Dean.”

“A fear is a fear, okay? We’ll just wait and see what your kid is afraid of. Probably something like butterflies.”

“I hadn’t realized….” Uzziel licked his lips. “May I assist?”

“Assist?”

“Help with that fear?”

“Oh.” Dean considered it. Since Jack had gotten over his fear of Uzziel, or whatever the problem had been, he shrugged. “Knock yourself out.”

Uzziel approached Jack and knelt. “May I show you something, Jack?”

Jo glanced over at Dean. “Dean?”

“It’s okay.”

She pressed a kiss to Jack’s temple. “Let’s see what Uzziel has for you, okay?”

Jack put a finger in his mouth and nodded. He didn’t protest when Jo drew him slightly towards Uzziel.

Uzziel sat the rest of the way and reached out to the ground. “Watch.” He put a finger down on the ground. One ant veered from the line and came to it, climbing up it. He raised his hand, the ant scurrying about only on that finger. “See? It’s not hurting me at all. It’s only a tiny bug, very much smaller than either of us.”

Taking a finger out of his mouth, Jack bent to Uzziel to take a closer look. He frowned.

“Ants are necessary in this world’s food chain. What would an anteater eat if there were no ants?”

With a solemn nod, Jack said, “Anteaters look funny.”

“They do to us, but not to other anteaters. Would you like to hold the ant?”

“Like kitty?”

“Sort of. You have to be even more gentle or you’ll hurt the ant.”

While Dean was slightly impressed with Uzziel’s tactics, he wouldn’t put it past Jack to take the ant and squish it. They’d had to remind him a ton of times not to hold the cat too tightly, though the cat hadn’t minded. She’d butted her head against Jack and purred, kneading with her paws.

Slowly, Jack held out his hand. Uzziel touched his palm with the finger and the ant walked down onto it.

“He’ll stay right there in your palm, I promise.”

A slow shy smile formed. “Tickles.”

“Do you see? Nothing to fear.”

Dean stepped back to stand with Castiel. “He’s not bad with kids.”

Castiel nodded and when he spoke, his voice was low. “I’ll be sending Uzziel back to heaven soon. Most likely by morning. You were right about his daydreaming during our match today. His thoughts are returning to Ellen again and remaining there the longer we’re here on earth.”

“His weakness is that bad?”

“It is and he recognizes it. We all have weaknesses. His place is heaven, but he hopes some day he can spend more time here.”

Some day he could. Ellen wouldn’t live forever, though Dean wondered if another woman would take her place as Uzziel’s weakness. “Some of you weren’t meant to be on earth.”

“No. Some weren’t.” He cleared his throat. “Abigael and Jael did well today. I’m considering Jael for the program.”

“I thought he was Uzziel’s assistant?”

“His testing with Balthazar went far better than I’d thought it would. I haven’t told him yet. There’s Uzziel to consider. Jael has been his assistant for awhile and for him to surpass Uzziel and pass the program might cause jealousy. Still, I have to consider if Jael himself is ready for this step.”

Dean glanced across the camp at Jael. He was deep in conversation with Gwen. “Does he have that ambition? I mean, is he happy where he is? If he’s happy, why jinx it? If he keeps Uzziel in check, might be best to keep him there.”

“That’s a good point.” He leaned against the tree trunk. “These are the kind of decisions I make these days. At times I don’t feel adequate for the job.”

“Heaven seems to be running smoothly. I’d say God picked the best angel to run things.”

“Thank you, Dean. I’m pleased you think so.”

He turned to go through the containers again. “Now, tell me about how badly Abigael kicked your ass today.”

It was gratifying to hear what sounded like a chuckle come from Castiel. “It was sad. I think I pushed her too far with the constant attacks.”

As they talked, he continued to search the containers. Where the hell was their food disappearing to?

~~~~~~~~~~

With Dean, Sam, and the boys off doing some mystery task, Gwen and Jo remained at the camp. The angels had gone again, this time for a ‘feelings seminar’ that they planned to drag Balthazar and Atropos to. Uzziel had mentioned he had a special speaker lined up. Gwen briefly wondered who it was. Dr. Phil? Oprah? She wouldn’t put it past him to arrange that in his enthusiasm.

Jo was attempting to read that book she’d started and Gwen wandered restlessly around the camp. She had a feeling that things were going far too well for them all. Was it a sign of how paranoid she was that she assumed a weekend without real trouble meant there was bigger trouble about to happen? That the other shoe had to drop and soon? She didn’t particularly like it when things got quiet.

Gwen crouched down to check the fire. “You need to tell him, Jo. I thought you would the first day we were here.” When Jo ignored her, she asked, “when are you going to tell him?”

“Tell him what?” Her tone was innocent and she turned a page in her book.

“Jo.” She glanced over her shoulder at her.

“What?” She turned the page down and closed the book, setting it aside. “Not my fault he keeps misunderstanding that ‘don’t’ doesn’t mean ‘can’t’.”

“He thinks you can’t camp, like can’t do any of the camping jobs.”

“I am rusty.”

Gwen snorted. “You weren’t when you and I did that four day stint trying to disprove those Yeti pictures that surfaced.”

“That was like four, five years ago. It was before Dean and I got married. I can totally be rusty.”

“You’re not rusty or incompetent or any other words like that. You’re pretty good at this stuff.” Jo was a good camper when she absolutely had to be. Gwen remembered that.

“Don’t tell Dean that. He’ll want to go camping all the time then and his misunderstanding has gotten me out of all these icky jobs.”

“This will backfire on you. You know it will. Honesty, remember? The two of you sharing everything?”

“Yeah, yeah.” She shifted in the chair. “Maybe I’ll tell him who Garth’s new girlfriend is first, sort of do a which is worse thing. My lie of omission or that?”

“Who is his new girlfriend and how did you find out? He never says her name.” She stood.

“I’ve been running every number he calls from. I do that for all numbers I don’t recognize. Don’t you?”

Refusing to be distracted, Gwen moved to the chair beside her. “Spill. Do I know her?”

“You’ve met….”

“Tell me.”

She scratched a finger to her temple. “Becky Rosen.”

“Sam’s stalker Becky?” Had she heard right?

“Yup.”

“How did they meet? And how long have you known?”

“I’ve known since about a month ago when he called from her home phone. She has a landline. I found out, then rather than ask him straight up how they met, I found her professional blog, her personal one, her Facebook and Twitter accounts, YouTube channel, and Tumblr account.”

“You stalked Sam’s stalker?”

“Not stalked,” Jo corrected. “Am stalking.”

“You have too much time on your hands.”

“Can’t do much but computer work while feeling sick all the time, Gwen. It’s a sad fact.”

Gwen sighed. Thank God they were going home in the morning. Maybe they could get home before Dean realized his mistake in thinking Jo couldn’t camp. She’d sort of like to miss out on that fight. “How did he hook up with her?”

“It was love at first sight. According to her personal blog, Facebook, and Twitter feed anyway. She was working some non-Supernatural convention and he wandered through. She doesn’t seem to know he’s a hunter though. They have overnights and --”

She covered her ears. “Ugh! Too much information, Jo.”

“Just relaying what she’s posted.” She drew her blanket up a bit higher. “I’ll keep an eye on them. I’ve got Marissa on the task. I told her Garth is a friend and I’m worried Becky will break his heart.”

“You’re bad.”

Dean and Sam came back with the boys about an hour later, Jack proudly telling Jo that they’d seen a deer and hadn’t even scared it away. He sat on the ground at Jo’s feet and the skunk hurried over to curl up beside him.

Gwen made a mental note to check up on shape shifting creatures that could change into skunks when they got home. There had to be some reason the thing was following Jack all over the place.