When Angels Weep

Chapter 11

~~~~~~~~~~

The words were casual, as they'd always been, brief mentions here and there of visitors to the apartment when he wasn't there. Male visitors. His Master mentioned that quite a lot in recent days, always so surprised by Vader's reaction. Didn't Vader know that his wife...entertained? Oh, no reason to be grumpy about it was there? Perhaps she was merely planning a surprise for him as a wife sometimes did. He shouldn't have said anything. It wasn't important.

Old suspicions arose inside him, those insecurities he'd constantly harbored that Padmé did not really love him after all. He told himself he was being ridiculous. She did love him and yet.... The idea that she was carrying on with some other man would not leave his head.

"What is bothering you, Vader," Palpatine asked in an oily voice. "Surely not my little slip of the tongue? Is it something else?"

"It's Padmé," Vader confirmed.

"Ahh." Palpatine gave a wise nod of his head. "She was already on your mind then. Tell me what the matter is."

Vader paused, then shook his head. "I'd rather not talk about it."

His Master leaned forward in his chair, not acknowledging Vader's preference. "Tell me, did you inform her of your departure tomorrow?" At Vader's nod, Palpatine continued. "And what did she say? Did she hold you close and tell you she'd miss you as she has always done?"

No. His wife had not held him, nor had she told him how very much she was going to miss him. Why not? Was she planning to...entertain? He shifted in his seat, the line of thought making him uncomfortable.

"Or did she appear unconcerned by being parted from you for an entire week?"

Unconcerned. Yes, that described her reaction exactly. She was far too calm. Nonchalant. He recalled a time when she'd tried to entice him to stay a little while longer when they'd both known duty called him.

But not this time. This time, she merely nodded, her expression cool, as though she wouldn't miss him at all.

"I'm sure she'll miss you terribly. She is, after all, a most devoted spouse."

Whatever the conversation was after that, he didn't know. He tuned everything else out, his thoughts returning to Padmé and how she entertained men when he was away. How she wasn't going to miss him. And how she didn't really love him at all.

Anger stirred, ever glowing embers sparking to flame.

~~~~~~~~~~

In his chair, Palpatine allowed a small smile to turn his lips. Really, Vader was quite predictable when it came to Padmé. Anakin had fallen for the same ploy once before. That playing upon his fears of betrayal, on his jealousy.

Of course, Padmé had few visitors at all anymore and Palpatine was quite aware that she was never alone with anyone. But Vader didn't know that and Padmé's innocent actions would appear to damn her.

He'd been fishing with that question of her reaction to Vader's trip. Oh, how well it had worked! So, she showed no emotion. How interesting. He'd have to ponder the meaning of that awhile.

Palpatine dismissed Vader, letting the boy stew in his fears.

~~~~~~~~~~

Anakin paced the room, his breaths harsh. After a moment, he spoke once more, his voice strained from the shouting he'd already done. "Don't you even care that I'll be gone an entire week? A full week, Padmé, not a few hours. You used to care."

Padmé sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose tiredly. Ever since he'd come home tonight, he'd been going on about this trip and her reaction to it. "Anakin...."

He paused in his pacing to stare at her. The hurt and pain in his eyes bewildered her. She didn't know where it had come from, where his idea that she was running around on him had come from. "You claim to love me and yet what sort of reaction do you show for my being gone more than a day? Nothing. No reaction at all except a nod. A nod, Padmé. Nonchalant, as though you could care less. I remember when you would throw your arms around me and tell me a minute away from me was an eternity. You'd beg me not to leave." A knick-knack went flying, thudding against the wall.

His lower lip was quivering from his effort to hold back his emotions. Padmé hugged herself. She didn't want to get into this with him, not again. Not another accusation. Not another minute of this argument that had already gone on too long as it was. She felt a tension headache forming, relentless pressure along her brow. "I will miss you, Anakin. How many times do I have to say it?"

"You'll miss me? Really. Before or after your meetings with friends?" He snorted. "You think I don't know? You think I'm not aware what you're up to when I'm not here?"

"Up to? Anakin, you're talking nonsense!" Padmé shook her head. She was fast losing her own temper with his relentless questioning on the topic. "I have never been unfaithful to you, not once!" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I've never considered it. Ever. You're my husband. I took vows to be faithful to you alone and I have been."

"I know you have a friend," he said, ignoring her words. "That is what he's called to be polite, yes? A friend, as though a man who'd sleep with another man's wife is any sort of friend."

"You know it's not true. You know I'm not..." Her sobs welled up, covering over the rest of her sentence. Her own anger was near to boiling and those tears she shed were from it, not sorrow. Why wouldn't he listen to her?

Anakin rolled his eyes. "Crying is blackmail. Stop it, Padmé."

Down the hall, one of the babies woke and began to cry.

"You stop it," she shouted, fists balled with her frustration. "I've done nothing to warrant accusations and you know it!"

"Dormé is meeting a man," he returned. "She's been meeting him all this week. Tell me that isn't suspicious. Chaste Dormé who never sees anyone suddenly meeting with a man." He spread his arms wide. "I'm set to leave and all week she's been out seeing him, always coming back so secretive. Who is he? An intermediary for another? Is she arranging trysts for you now like she once did for you and me? Is she trying to take you from me now?"

"No. There's no one. You know that, Anakin!"

He strode to her, hands cupping her face tight, hurting. Padmé pried at them, nails digging in, drawing blood on his real hand. "You almost convince me."

"Let go of me." When he made no move to do so, Padmé stopped prying at his hands, instead she reached up to claw at his face. Anakin leaned back, deftly turning her so the she was helpless with her back to his chest. "Let go of me," she repeated through clenched teeth, still struggling though his grip was immobilizing, the embrace bruising.

The child's cry was now a piercing wail. Anakin's lips caressed her temple. "I will never let you go, Padmé."

The pronouncement held meaning on a deeper level than this embrace, made quite clear when he shoved her hard enough from him that she stumbled against the divan.

"Take care of Shmi before she makes herself sick again."

She turned her head, staring up at him. She wanted to continue, to make him listen to her for once, but Padmé knew she needed a moment to calm herself. Not only that, but he needed a moment. At the rate this was escalating, she'd be choked to death on the floor by bedtime and that certainly wouldn't do now would it?

Padmé made her way into the children's room and concentrated on soothing her daughter.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dormé was certain she was going to be caught. Zoras was certain she wasn't. In his roundabout way, he assured her that she shouldn't worry so much. Their meetings appeared to be those of secret lovers. Why, all the man following her would find of Zoras was a harmless fake identity. She should relax.

But she couldn't. Her constant wariness of Anakin was draining. She no longer slept much at night, her mind refusing to relinquish the sensation of her throat closing and of Anakin's unrepentant stare.

"Tomorrow, yes, we'll meet tomorrow, hmm? Your employer and the rest will, hmm, be ready to leave, yes? The one she flees will be leaving, yes?"

Anakin was going on a longer trip this time. Palpatine had ordered Anakin to oversee the beginning construction of a battle station and report back in a week. Her lady had accepted Anakin's announcement in the same manner she'd accepted previous announcements. With a nod.

They were leaving. Finally. Dormé kept her distance from Anakin, not wishing to give away anything of their plans. No fear of that in reality. Anakin was far more focused on his wife than on her handmaiden.

"The one she flees?"

Dormé turned her head, looking up at him. She forced herself to smile and lean closer to him, giving the impression to the man who followed that she wanted time alone with her companion. Zoras' glance was sly. "Yes?"

"She flees the Jedi, yes? The one who, yes, slices and, hmmm, kills? I'm not stupid, little handmaiden, hmmm. I know who she is. Pretty little, yes, Senator from, hmm, Naboo." Before Dormé could become alarmed, his expression softened, some of mercenary coolness fading away. "My wife, yes long gone, hmm, was from Naboo. Tomorrow, you go safely, yes, away."

He left her at the entrance to Padmé's favorite café, pressing a kiss for show so close to her mouth that from a distance it would look as though he'd kissed her. She had to grit her teeth to keep from wiping it away right then, managing to wait until she was back in the apartment. Dormé swept her thumb across the spot of flesh. Her heart skipped a beat when Anakin's voice came from around the corner, husky, as though he'd been screaming.

"What are you up to, Dormé? Kissing strange men in public?"

Taking a few steps, she found him standing by the window, his arms crossed. He turned to face her, his expression unreadable. She didn't know if he was angry or indifferent or anything else. She undid her cloak and shrugged. "I had a dinner engagement. Padmé approved it. She said you'd be back not long after I had to leave."

Anakin gave a soft laugh that raised the hairs on the back of her neck. "You didn't have dinner with him." His gaze found hers.

She swallowed hard. Anakin crossed to her, disregarding the notion of personal space. He stared down at her, eyes narrowed, so close she felt as though she was going to topple backwards if he leaned closer a single inch. For a long moment, he didn't speak, relishing her discomfort.

"You didn't have anything to eat with anyone or even by yourself. You didn't duck into a restaurant at all. A few minutes in a couple of shops and that was it. Mostly, you just walked with your...date."

Dormé remained silent, forcing herself to breath slowly. The apartment was so silent. Still. Where was Padmé? And the children?

"What are you up to," he repeated. When she didn't answer right away, his brows raised. "Dormé," he prompted.

Her hands began to perspire and she grasped her cloak tightly. "Nothing. I needed a couple hours to attend to personal matters and Padmé--"

"You were hired to be a bodyguard among other things. Since I am now in charge of security arrangements, you will now report to me, not my wife. If you need time off, you will ask me. No more of this leaving when you feel like it. Padmé has been far too lenient with you since Ellé and Moteé died."

Dormé straightened her back. "My lady hired me, Anakin, not you. I will report to her alone."

His slow grin was taunting. "Ahh, but I control the finances. Report to me or you will not be paid."

"Then I'll work for free."

The blue of his eyes was very bright. His lips tightened. "Tell me about the man you met."

She shook her head. "It's not your business." Inside, Dormé was trembling. Still, she defied his order.

"Everything that concerns anyone living in this apartment is my business. I want his name and particulars. Now. You'll give them to me."

"Leave her alone, Anakin," Padmé said from the doorway, her voice sharp. Tension rose in the room, unpleasant and rough. Dormé stumbled back from Anakin. Something had happened while she was out and she wasn't sure she wanted to know what. "You're upset with me, not Dormé."

"Wrong," he corrected. "I'm upset with both of you. Keeping secrets. Dormé running around Coruscant with a stranger. People visiting when I'm away."

She saw Padmé roll her eyes in frustration. "Say what you mean, Anakin. Men, not people. Men. Phantom men, because I don't have male visitors when you're not here. I'm a faithful wife who loves her husband even when he's accusing her of running around on him. Ask her. Ask Dormé. Tell her what you accused her of when she wasn't even here to defend herself. Hmm? Why don't you just ask the droids? Ask the security staff you've had spying on us every waking hour for months. Surely one of them is trustworthy." Padmé paused to take a breath and Anakin jumped in.

"Ask Dormé? Very well, my love, we'll do it that way. Dormé." His attention returned to her and she flinched. "Are you helping my wife to cheat on me?"

"What? No!" She shook her head, the movement emphatic. "I'd never..."

"You'd better not be lying to me."

Padmé answered him. "No one here is lying to you, Anakin. The only one who's lying is the one filling your head with this garbage and we both know who that person is don't we? Your favorite politician, the one you murdered Jedi for--"

Padmé took several stumbling steps backwards as Anakin's head turned towards her. He pointed a finger at her, then balled his fists and gave a low guttural cry. There was the sound of glass exploding somewhere in the apartment and Anakin turned on his heel, striding from the room.

After a moment, Padmé sighed. "Please don't ask."

Dormé didn't. She could guess now what had happened.

~~~~~~~~~~

Vader stormed the Temple, the one place no one cared if he vented his anger and frustration. Most of the elegant rooms were no longer so, artwork broken and splintered on the floors, machinery long destroyed. As long as he hadn't harmed anything Palpatine considered important, he was given leave to do as he pleased with the Temple. And so he had.

When his anger became too much for him, he came here. Vader had gone to each room, looked through belongings and destroyed many of them. He'd let his anger take a hold of him.

"No," he shouted. "No, no, no!"

A chair went flying, breaking to pieces from the impact with the wall and leaving a dent that wouldn't be repaired. And so, Vader worked through the rage that now gripped him until it finally abated and he fell to his hands and knees, panting, crying, hiccoughing. He felt...drained.

Anakin opened his eyes, barely able to focus though the sheen of tears. All around him he heard that staticky babble of voices, that same noise whenever he came here. A puzzling thing he couldn't tune himself to. He'd tried everything he could think of to bring those voices into clarity and each try left him frustrated. Occasionally, he could make out a word or two, or even his name, but never more than that.

Sometimes he felt a presence with him, sensed it like the presence he often sensed in the apartment with Padmé. It teased at him. He knew he should know it and like the voices, clarity escaped him. Something kept him from knowing.

Anakin choked, tasting bile, and swallowed hard, wiping the back of one hand across his mouth. What had brought him here today? Many things. More killing, more demands of Palpatine's and insinuations that his wife entertained visitors when he wasn't around. His own idea that Dormé aided her in deception.

But there was never any male presence in the apartment anymore aside from that phantom one. Not to mention that security told him whenever she left and followed her the entire while she was out. The only one who ever met with anyone was Dormé and she'd been seen with a tall thin man that called her 'my dear' in a loud drawling, booming voice.

He sobbed.

His children hated him. What other conclusion could he draw from their constant reactions to him? Aside from that one time holding his son, the two children had continued to scream when he was around.

His wife feared him. He'd seen that emotion reflected in her eyes more times than he could count since Mustafar. It was always a quick flash, but he knew it was there. Padmé feared him.

"How did this happen?"

How did he go from being a beloved husband to being a man his own family tiptoed around? When had he ceased to be what he should have been for them?

The babble increased, a whirling din that seemed to echo in the large chamber. There was a surge of the Force and then he felt it. It. A presence, familiar to him. A presence known. It was comforting and grating at the same time. Anakin's head raised, left hand trembling. The voices coalesced, became one clear voice, a whisper through his emotions.

No. It couldn't be.

Obi-Wan's voice.

I'm so sorry, Anakin.

He could almost see the sadness on his former Master's face, the blue eyes resigned as he stood over Anakin, staring down at him. Was this a memory? Was he remembering a time in the past, because he saw Obi-Wan standing before him, his body see-through and shimmering with faint light. He looked like a holoimage.

I've failed you, Anakin. It won't happen again. I promise you, my brother.

Anakin's tremors increased, shaking taking over his entire body as anger and regret warred inside him for a foothold. His mind was not his own, he knew that now, but as long as he could hang on....

Your eyes are closed.

The remaining unbroken objects in the room began to rattle with movement, a crack beginning to split the wall furthest from him. The tapestries adorning the walls fluttered as though whipped about by an invisible hand. Obi-Wan's image slowly backed away and Anakin almost swore he saw a sheen of tears on the figure's cheeks.

I'm sorry, Anakin. You are blind.

The voice split back into several now, crescendoing louder and louder. Anakin grabbed at his head, rocked back and forth.

"No, no, no!" Anakin's breaths would not level out, panicky and quick. "You're not real! I killed you! I killed you all!"

Silence, like all sound had been shut off. The Jedi Temple became as a tomb, dead and icy, that presence gone. There was nothing there. No sense of peace lingering about the building. It was dead. Truly. The Jedi Temple was now only another building to him. Anakin collapsed fully onto the floor, resting his flushed, wet cheek on the tile. He was cold, so very achingly cold. Alone.

And he'd killed them all. One by one these past weeks, he'd hunted down those who'd remained alive that he'd called friends and colleagues. One by one, he'd killed them all.

Slowly, as he cried, Anakin pulled tighter, deeper into his own mind. In his anguish for what he had done, he gave Vader room to grow and like a parasite inside him, Vader grew.