Title: That Thing Called Fan Fiction
Summary: Extremely AU Takes place after ‘The Monster at the End of this Book’. Ch. 1: For fun, Dean messes with the Supernatural fan girls using badly written PWPs.
Chapter Title: It’s All in the Adjectives
Chapter: 1
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: Supernatural was created by Eric Kripke. No disrespect is intended.
Notes: I adore absurdism. This work is entirely in the spirit of fun, so please take it that way. Any similarity to real user names is completely coincidental. And -- I do realize if you look closely at the titles of the Carver Edlund ‘books’ the entire Roadhouse storyline episodes -- and the Bela episodes -- were not among them. I obviously like Jo, so I added them in. As for Bela…needed female characters….
~~~~~~~~~~
After plowing through most of Chuck’s books…okay skimming them, and carefully going through the history on Sam’s laptop, Dean felt he had a handle on the whole fandom thing and it was bigger than he’d first thought. Those chicks on those forums were all nuts. So were the guys. Especially those who liked to think they were Dean -- or Sam. Curious to learn a bit more, he clicked a few links and discovered people really did write stories about them. Besides Chuck. Bizarre. There was even a section at a fan fiction site that had stories in it. And not just about himself and Sam, but Ellen, Jo, Bella, Bobby and more.
Kind of freaked him out at first.
But then he started reading. Some of it wasn’t half bad, but others? He wondered just how bad a story had to be before the fans rejected it.
It was raining the afternoon he got his first idea.
~~~~~~~~~~
Title: Jo Does Dean
Summary: The title says it all. Really.
Rating: M, for lots of sex and I mean lots
Reviews for ‘Jo Does Dean’:
--“Your story premise is stupid and cliché. I want the time it took to read it back.
sam4ever”Private message to sam4ever --
“sam4ever -- Your review is stupid and cliché. I want the time it took to read it back.
TheRealDean”~~~~~
-- “OMG! OMGOMGOMG! HOT!
deanrocksmysocks”Private message to deanrocksmysocks --
“Thanks. I thought so too. Love your user name!
TheRealDean”~~~~~~
-- “Like Jo would behave like that. It’s obvious you have no real insight into the female psyche, because while she was flirting with Dean, she seemed to expect him to make a solid move first. I really don’t see her as the ‘hey baby let me bang you on the hood of your car’ sort of woman. Or the type to get off on having other people watch. What makes you think she has a tattoo? Especially one there?
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“It’s my story. If I want her to have a tattoo there she will. Deal with it. In fact, if I want her to be the sort of woman who gets a Brazilian wax, I will.
TheRealDean”Private message to TheRealDean --
“I just don’t see Jo as the type to get a protection tattoo. I think she’s more of a jewelry woman, myself. An amulet on a slim silver chain perhaps? Or a charm bracelet. Besides, what woman willingly gets a tattoo there? Tell me that. A Brazilian wax? Have you ever had hot wax in the groin area? Not exactly pleasant, let me tell you.
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“You want names and phone numbers, sweetheart? As for the hot wax -- are you offering to get kinky? Because I could so get into that if you’re a hot chick.
TheRealDean”Private message to TheRealDean --
“You’re a pig.
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“Hey, you were the one expecting romance and ‘insight into the female psyche’ in porn.
TheRealDean”~~~~~~~~~~
-- “More! More! More! Soooo hot! Sexy! U writ good!
Sexysexyreader”Private message to Sexysexyreader --
“Thanks. I appreciate that. It’s reviewers like you who make me feel pride in my work.
TheRealDean”~~~~~~~~~~
-- “You suck! Your story sucks! You botj suck!
Jo-is-a-ho”Private message to Jo-is-a-ho --
Jo is not a ho and you suck, along with your spelling.
TheRealDean”~~~~~~~~~~
The first story a hit, at least he thought so, Dean mixed things up a bit. He switched a few sentences around, added a few details that could get him kicked off the site if anyone reported him, and uploaded a second story. Then he sat back and waited for the reviews to come in. This promised to be entertaining.
~~~~~~~~~~
Title: Dean Does Jo
Summary: Again, self-explanatory. Read it!
Rating: M, for tons of graphic sex
Reviews for ‘Dean Does Jo’:
-- “While this is better than your last attempt to write PWP, I have to take exception to your portrayal of Jo as a raging nympho who has nothing better to do with her time than screw Dean on every surface available, even if it was made plain that she wanted him. In my experience, those hotel tables aren’t really that sturdy. Also, what makes you think she has a piercing there? What woman in her right mind would do that?
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“What makes you think she isn’t and doesn’t?
TheRealDean”Private message to TheRealDean --
“She’s never been written as a nympho or with a piercing there. I’m a bit curious where you got that idea for her.
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“She hasn’t been written that way until now. It’s my story I’ll write her as I want. If I want to make her jump Sammy, I will. I won’t, but I could. I think Jo could get wild. I agree about the tables though. They collapse far too easily.
TheRealDean”Private message to TheRealDean --
“Why do you think she could be wild?
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“Okay, JBethH. I’ll bite. The girl ran off after two men she barely knew and didn’t bat an eye at spending who knows how long in a mostly empty apartment building with them. Seems a little wild to me sweetheart.
TheRealDean”Private message to TheRealDean --
“Determined, maybe. Stubborn, maybe. I don’t think it makes her wild, though. She ran off, as you put it, to hunt with two men she trusted.
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“She behaved like a schoolgirl.
TheRealDean”Private message to TheRealDean --
“Schoolgirl? Jerk. No, not a jerk. I was right before. You’re a pig.
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“Thanks. That’s sweet of you. Want to meet for drinks later? What are you wearing?
TheRealDean”Private message to TheRealDean --
“You could be the real Dean with remarks like that.
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“I’m touched by the comparison.
TheRealDean”~~~~~~~~~~
-- “Why Jo? You should write Wincest. It’s hotter.
deansamissexy”Private message to deansamissexy --
“They’re brothers. Did you maybe miss that part?
TheRealDean”-Private message to TheRealDean --
“It’s still hotter.
deansamissexy”Private message to deansamissexy --
“It’s incest and it’s wrong. You’re a freak. You do know that right?
TheRealDean”~~~~~~~~~~
-- “Do you take requests? Do you write character death? Because I’d love to see one where Dean falls for Jo and she dies and he has to deal with it and he cries a lot. I love it when Dean cries! Would you write that? It’d be so cool! Thanks!
deanfannumberone”Private message to deanfannumberone --
You have issues. See someone for that, okay?
TheRealDean”~~~~~~~~~
-- “So, out of the women available in canon, you picked Jo. That’s interesting. Why Jo? What makes Jo so appealing? We should talk about this in depth. It’s obvious you have some issues. Your writing clearly displays a lack of maturity.
analystwannabe” Private message to analystwannabe --
So, out of the fics available, you picked this one. That’s interesting. Why this one? What makes this one so appealing? We should talk about this in depth. It’s obvious you have some issues. Your review clearly displays a lack of maturity.
TheRealDean”~~~~~~~~~~
Pleased with the response he received from that story, Dean set about writing a new one, this time not paying any attention whatsoever to decent grammar or spelling. He found cobbling together soft porn to be fun and relaxing. Sam kept giving him odd looks, but that hardly bothered him. The ideas were flowing now! He posted the next story within a couple days.
~~~~~~~~~~
Title: Adventures in the Backseat
Summary: Lots of sex.
Rating: M
Reviews for ‘Adventures in the Backseat’:
~~~~~~~~~~
-- “I wasted time on something that isn’t even Wincest? Backseat is suggestive of it. Might want to change the title or summary to reflect this.
boththeboys”Private message to boththeboys --
“Backseat as in the car, moron.
TheRealDean”~~~~~~~~~~
-- “OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!
sexysexyreader”~~~~~~~~~
-- “While I’m pleased to see you branching out from Jo and assassinating the characterization of other female characters, I wonder how Ellen would feel about being the older woman who takes Dean in hand -- literally -- and teaches him a few things he didn’t already know.
JBethH”Private message to JBethH--
“Imagine me snickering, because I am. What older woman wouldn’t want a young stud like Dean in the sack? I think Ellen could really get into it. Rowr!
TheRealDean”Private message to TheRealDean --
“Rowr? Ahh, I get it. Cougar reference, meaning sexy older woman. But don’t you think she considers him a son? I got that impression. Couldn’t that be considered emotional incest? Hey, aren’t you the guy who posted a flame on the Wincest board the other day?
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Besides, they started it.
TheRealDean”~~~~~~~~~~
It quickly became boring reading the same sort of reviews over and over and composing replies to them. Dean waited for the sorts of reviews a few of his readers sent, like that JBethH chick. He liked her. She didn’t appear to write anything herself, had no personal website listed, nor was her email public, but she had a ton of stories and authors in her favorites sections. He perused the list, doing a quick check on each author she had listed. The descriptions of one author’s stories caught his eye.
SamIam5283.
After reading two of the shorter stories, Dean decided to keep him on his alerts. There was something strange about that author. He knew too much.
~~~~~~~~~~
Title: Bela Does Dean
Summary: So much sex it’s not even funny.
Rating: M of course
Reviews for ‘Bela Does Dean’:
~~~~~~~~~~
-- “Awesome hate sex! Can’t wait to read more from you!
BelaBelaBela”~~~~~~~~~~
-- “I’d love to read more Bela stories from you. This ones made of awesomeness!
Belasababe”~~~~~~~~~~
-- “This is the exact same story as ‘Jo Does Dean’. You just changed ‘Jo’ to ‘Bela’. You didn’t even change her hair color.
JBethH”Private Message to JBethH --
“Sure, but changing the names really changes the connotation of every little detail, doesn’t it? There’s such a difference between Jo and Bela as characters.
TheRealDean”Private Message to TheRealDean --
“*snort* Not as you write them.
JBethH”~~~~~~~~~~
Dean spent even less time than he had previously on his next offering, not bothering to try to think about how Jo might react to his semi-plot -- not that he’d given it much thought thus far. As far as his purposes were concerned, Jo was a character, not a flesh and blood woman he knew in real life. Besides, wasn’t like she’d ever come across these stories anyway and if she did, wasn’t like she’d know it was him writing them.
~~~~~~~~~~
Title: Jo Does Dean, the Sequel
Summary: The good times continue.
Rating: M sex
Reviews for ‘Jo Does Dean, the Sequel’:
~~~~~~~~~~
-- Wow. Your writing has actually regressed and is worse than that first PWP you posted. It’s amazing really. You continue to assassinate Jo as a character to a fascinating degree. So, in the time between the first story and this one, she’s started working as a stripper? And she refuses to give Sam a lap dance, but gives Dean a freebie?
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“Always a pleasure to hear from you sweetheart. Your reviews warm my heart. I couldn’t carry on without your gentle words to guide me.
TheRealDean”Private message to TheRealDean --
“Smartass.
JBethH”~~~~~~~~~~
Title: Dean Does Jo Again
Summary: There’s a slight chance there’s some sex in this story.
Rating: M
Reviews for ‘Dean Does Jo Again’ --
~~~~~~~~~~
-- “I have no words. Absolutely none.
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“That’s a first. Want me to come give you a sponge bath to make you feel better?
The RealDean”Private message to TheRealDean --
“You’ve taken fantasy to such a new level in this PWP that it makes me wonder if you know the difference between fantasy and reality.
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“A new level? So you’re saying I’m a prodigy then? Awesome!
TheRealDean”Private message to TheRealDean --
“That’s certainly one word you could use. Disturbed comes to mind as well.
JBethH”Private message to JBethH --
“Stop with the compliments already. I’m blushing.
TheRealDean”~~~~~~~~~~
-- “I don’t get it. Is this like a repost or a sequel?
perpetuallyconfusedfangirl”Private message to perpetuallyconfusedfangirl --
“Don’t strain your brain, sweetheart. It’s a sequel.
TheRealDean”~~~~~~~~~~
After a few more stories, where all he did was switch names back and forth, and ignored other details, Dean settled in to lurk. There was something about both JBethH and SamIam5283 that was bothering him, but he couldn’t quite figure out what.
