Title: Lessons Lacking and Learned

Act V:

Cas watched Dean and Jo dance and tried to ignore the stare Ellen had directed his way since the music had started. Her speculative expression was making him nervous. She made him nervous and he’d spent enough time with her today that he knew she knew it; that she was enjoying it. Here he’d been thinking his nervousness around her was gone and it reared up again. Was that normal?

She was sitting next to him, her chair scooted beside his in the sort of closeness Dean kept telling him was inappropriate, her arm along the back of his chair. If it was inappropriate, then why was Ellen doing it? Very confusing and contradictory information. Her leg pressed against his.

It would be very easy to let go of the shot glass and set his hand down on her thigh.

He didn’t think she’d mind.

Instead, he raised his shot glass and drank the whiskey she’d just poured. It burned a little going down, but he liked the taste and the warmth it gave.

Ellen leaned over. “You know how to dance?”

He flicked his gaze to the nearly empty dance floor, then back at her. “There doesn’t appear to be the need for much skill. I believe I can manage to sway in that manner.”

“What’s say we dance a few then?”

With a nod, he followed her onto the dance floor. Once there, he could see Sam in the next room shooting pool.

“Hands on my waist,” she told him, “and don’t step on my feet.”

She moved close, slipping her arms up, clasping her hands behind his neck. A glance at Dean and Jo showed them clinging together in an embrace more suited for behind closed doors. Dean had one hand square on Jo’s rear. Occasionally, the two would kiss. Cas didn’t think that was the sort of dancing Ellen had in mind, so he kept his hands right at her waist where she’d told him to put them. They swayed through one verse of the song. He managed not to step on her feet.

Tipping her head back a little to look him in the eyes, she asked, “You gonna relax any time soon, big boy?”

“I’m relaxed.”

Her tongue slipped out, wetting her lips. After a moment, she stepped a fraction closer. “I beg to differ. You’re tense in all the wrong places.”

Castiel considered that statement a moment. “There’s a right place to be tense,” he asked.

The humor grew on her face until she chuckled. “Sure is, but I’ll admit this isn’t the right location for the tense place I have in mind.”

“I’m uncertain what that means.”

Her hands gave a gentle nudge to the back of his head and he bent so that her lips were close to his ear. Ellen’s hands unclasped, her arms raising to hold him in an embrace, her body brushing his. She explained her remark in a way that made his throat dry and when she was done, she didn’t step back. He swallowed hard.

Her lips touched his ear, breath hot, tickling. “Put your arms around me.”

He did, wrapping one arm about her waist, the other slightly higher, splaying his left hand along her hip, the right by her shoulder blade. Doing so made it easier to keep swaying in time to the music. Cas rubbed his thumb across the fabric of her shirt by her shoulder blade. The fabric was soft and he noticed he could feel the strap of her bra through the thin material.

“How do you like dancing so far?” Her right arm shifted, fingers moving along his shoulder to the nape of his neck, caressing softly, sliding into his hair. The touch caused a slight shiver of sensation to work down his back.

While the movement of her hand didn’t seem planned or even conscious, he recalled her statement earlier about taking charge and thought it was probably both planned and conscious. “It’s…enjoyable.” The room was getting warm, or rather he was getting warm, his shirt beginning to feel a bit damp.

“Give me a better word than that, Cas. As a descriptive word, it’s bland.” Her left hand joined the right in his hair, thumb sweeping back and forth behind his ear.

“Pleasant?”

She drew back a fraction, cheek brushing his. He caught a whiff of her perfume. “Try again.”

Cas considered all possible synonyms before thinking further on this experience. In seconds, he’d hit upon a word he thought she’d appreciate. With a slight smile, he copied her teasing manner, dragging his hand down the line of her spine with deliberate firm slowness and turning his head a fraction so that his mouth was nearly against her ear. “Titillating,” he said, adding a bit of breath. Her response was pleasing.

Ellen’s back arched, breasts pressing to his chest and arms tightening about his shoulders. “Mmmm. Say that again.”

He repeated the word the same way. “Titillating.”

“You’ve got a way with words, Cas.”

They finished the dance in silence and when it was over, he released her. She slid her hands down his arms, then stepped back.

Ellen put her hands on her hips, drumming her fingers for a few seconds. “We’d better go somewhere a little less dark and cozy for awhile.”

“We should? Why?”

“Because I need to cool down.” One brow quirked up.

He studied her a moment, then inquired, “Are you warm?” She didn’t look warm. “You don’t appear to be flushed or perspiring.”

She laughed. “Warm is one way to put it. Come on. Let’s get out of here. Dean and Jo don’t really need chaperones.”

~~~~~~~~~~

His day had been one of the best he’d had in a very long time, Dean reflected, holding Jo tight against him while they danced. Doing laundry with her had been an experience to say the least. He was pleased to discover she wore satiny bikini panties and had a few g-strings as well. Her bras were tiny scraps of lace.

All afternoon he’d been imagining her wearing nothing but a g-string and a sultry smile.

He turned his face down into her neck and nibbled there for a moment. She smelled enticingly of vanilla and musk, the sort of scent that brought to mind soft sheets and massage oil. Three dates, huh? Did she really think he had that kind of willpower? He was going to need plenty of alone time if she expected him to wait that long.

Her lips touched his collarbone, feathered along it, then traveled along his neck and jaw to meet his mouth. The kiss was just enough to send his libido sky high and when Jo returned her head to his chest, Dean glanced around them. He did that every so often to see where Ellen was and if she was paying attention to them. This time she wasn’t. She’d moved onto the dance floor with Castiel.

“Are they dancing or just standing there talking,” Dean murmured in Jo’s ear, indicating them.

She raised her head from his chest and looked. “Dancing it looks like.”

“Hard to tell. Cas has personal space issues anyway.”

“I didn’t have any problem with him. Besides, he’s got his arms around her now. He looks a little nervous….”

Dean slid one hand up her side, turning her so that side was away from Ellen’s view. Not that Ellen was looking at them at all. She appeared to be focused on Cas.

“You really want to feel me up with my mom watching?”

“She’s dancing with Cas. She won’t notice.”

“That’s what you think. She’s got eyes in the back of her head.”

He noticed she didn’t protest otherwise though. Just to be sure, he kept an eye on Ellen and Cas. “Is he flirting with her?”

Jo shifted in his arms. “Sure,” she told him in a voice that indicated she wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying.

“No, I’m serious, Jo. I think he was flirting with her.”

“Good for him.”

The song ended, the next one beginning, but when Dean returned his attention to where Ellen and Cas had been, they weren’t there anymore. Nor were they back at the table. A longer look at the table showed that Cas’s coat was now gone.

He would have wondered where they went if Jo hadn’t started kissing him again. Dean decided it didn’t matter. What mattered right then was that he had Jo right where he wanted her.

Well…almost. The next two dates were going to be the longest of his entire life.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ellen took Cas to an all night restaurant, where they had even more coffee. Coffee appeared to be her non-alcoholic drink of choice. She was a skilled, yet subtle interrogator, asking him about various matters she was curious on. He could see where Jo had gotten her technique. She’d obviously honed her skills by watching Ellen.

“That suit is the same one you’ve had on since you took Jimmy as a host?”

“Yes.” He took a drink of the coffee, rolling the liquid about his mouth in an attempt to truly taste it. The tactic had worked with the food earlier and did again. The coffee was hot, with a bitter taste that Ellen claimed was ‘nutty’. As he had no personal descriptive words like that because he’d not eaten before today, he took her word for it.

“You’ve no changes of clothes.”

“No.”

“You don’t do laundry.”

“I’ve no need. The clothes remain fresh and if I’m injured in a way that leaves marks on them, the marks are fixed as my healing powers fix my body.”

Taking one of his hands in hers, she traced the veins on the back with one fingertip. “Jimmy’s body.”

“Technically only mine now since he moved on.”

Her sigh was wistful. “What I wouldn’t give to never have to do laundry ever again.”

“Dean laments laundry as well. It’s an on-going complaint.”

“I’m sure it is.” Ellen released his hand and crossed her arms on the table, gaze touching his features in an intense stare. “So tell me about this deal you mentioned earlier. The one with your brother.” The switch from light-hearted to heavier conversational fare was so sudden that he blinked.

For the second time in as many days, he told someone other than Dean or Sam about his punishment choices. Ellen listened and when he was through, she finished her coffee before saying anything. All playfulness was gone from her manner now. Indeed, her stare began to take on that of a person studying a puzzle they greatly wished to figure out.

“The deadline is tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Any certain time?”

“He’ll be waiting in the park all day. I must give my decision sometime between dawn and dusk.”

She glanced at her watch. “At the earliest, I have about six hours to convince you to stay.”

Lowering his gaze from hers, he opened a packet of sugar and dumped the crystals into the cup, stirring with a spoon to mix the two. “You wish me to stay?”

Ellen laughed, a throaty sound that reminded him of the purr of a large cat. She didn’t answer the question. “You were this close,” she held thumb and forefinger close in illustration, “to being human when Lucifer was sent away. What didn’t you like about being human?”

“Everything. The physical encumbrances --”

“Explain.”

“This body has a weight to it when my powers are nearly gone that isn’t there when I have them. It’s like being trapped in a small room, unable to physically leave. Powerless, I’m unable to leave this body save through bodily death. Movement is frustrating because every one is by necessity excruciatingly slow. Humans aren’t fast creatures, Ellen. You need vehicles to enable quickness, whereas, in the space of a blink, I can be halfway across the world.”

Understanding was in her eyes. “I see. What else didn’t you like?”

“Being powerless. Feeling as though I’d been abandoned by my brothers and sisters.”

“Mmm. Was there anything at all you did like?”

“No.”

Ellen sat back and poured more coffee. “Then I’d say you’ve decided already.”

“I have?”

“Yup. You absolutely hated being human, Cas.” She doctored her coffee with sugar, stirred it.

“Yes.”

“So be there at dawn and head for home.”

“I should.”

When she returned her attention to him, he saw a shrewd gleam in her eyes. “Why didn’t you go with your brother right then and there? Why are you still here even having this conversation with me?”

He stared at her. She was right. Why was he still here? Why was this decision so hard to make?

“You’re lying to yourself, sweetie. There was something you liked about being human; something you liked enough to make you think about your options. What was it?”

Cas opened his mouth to answer and didn’t know what to say.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was late when Dean left Jo’s room. She was true to her word, not letting him anywhere near her pants. Her shirt though, had been another matter. Mmm…Jo’s naked breasts….

He smiled at the remembrance, took two steps towards his own room, and heard a voice that had him back at Jo’s door, pounding on it.

“Hello, Dean.”

Gabriel.

Sudden fear that this was all an imaginary construct of that angel filled him and he refused to acknowledge Gabriel until he saw Jo again.

She opened the door to his knock, amusement etched upon her features. “No, talking in my doorway less than a minute after you left doesn’t count as a separate date. We discussed this, Dean.” Her amusement slipped away as she looked up at him, concern taking it’s place. “Dean, what’s wrong?” Her hands stretched out, warm on his skin, gently caressing.

He still didn’t know if she was real. Gabriel was very good at creating illusions that felt real and engaged all senses.

“Tell me you’re real.”

She frowned, thumbs stroking along his cheeks. “Of course I’m real.”

The fear wouldn’t ease.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

He dragged her against him, holding her so tightly that he heard her gasp.

“Dean, I can’t breathe. Let go, okay?” Jo patted his back, rubbed in soothing strokes. “Sweetheart, I just heard my ribs cracking. Ease up.”

Gabriel’s voice sounded once more. “This is purely a social shout-out, Dean. I’m only here on family business.”

Jo squirmed in his arms until she could see around him. “Gabe? Hey, how’ve you been?”

“Busy, Jo. Very busy. You’ve no idea how busy.”

“You know him?” Dean rested his cheek against her hair.

“For years. He used to come by the Roadhouse. Why?”

Oh, this just kept getting better and better. “I…just didn’t know you knew him.”

“Circles we run in, it’s kind of inevitable we’d know some of the same people.” She leaned back a little. “As much as I’m enjoying this togetherness thing we’ve got going, I’d really like to go in and go to bed now. I’m kind of tired.”

Reluctantly, he released her, kissing her a final time. Once her door was closed, he scowled at Gabriel. “You’re not taking her away from me.”

“Taking her away is the last thing on my mind. I told you: I’m here on family business. I only stopped you to say ‘hello’.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“All of this,” he spread his arms, gestured with his hands, “is one-hundred percent real.”

“And you’re here why exactly?”

“I’m here for Castiel. Surely you didn’t think heaven had forgotten him?” He put his hands into his pockets.

Dean snorted. “We should be so lucky.”

“He was given two possible reprimands to decide between.” Gabriel smiled. “He’s already chosen his consequences. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

“You’re making him choose his own punishment? How enlightened.”

The angel’s expression didn’t change. “Enjoy your life, Dean. You won’t see me again.”

“That a promise?”

“Trust me.” His smile slipped into a smirk. “I’m one of the good guys, remember?”

“Just so you know, that’s not a statement that makes me feel better.”

And then Dean was alone on the sidewalk.

~~~~~~~~~

Cas sat beside Ellen on the bed, knees drawn up and arms resting on them. She was getting tired. He could see it even though she was trying to hide it. Every so often, she’d attempt to smother a yawn, her body trembling with the effort.

She hadn’t made him take off his socks like Jo had, only his coat and jacket. Nor did she un-tuck his shirt or remove his tie.

“You’re emotionally attached to Dean and Sam both.”

Their shoulders and arms touched. She’d laid out so many reasons for him to take the ‘human time’ as Gabriel put it, that he wasn’t sure he’d enough time to consider all of them.

“Given what you’ve been through with them, it makes sense.”

Ellen enjoyed being human. She enjoyed the slow moving, the food, the physical encumbrances. The way she described being human made him want to be here longer.

“He told you it’d last a single human lifetime, yes?”

“He did.”

“And you’ll have a couple powers remaining?”

“Yes.”

“Cas, if you ask my opinion, it’s not a judgment punishment. It’s a gift, given to you to see your attachment to Dean and Sam through to the natural conclusion if you so choose. One lifetime makes no sense otherwise. Why that unless there was some specific reason for it? The number of years would see them to their deaths and you through that and through time to know any children they’ll have. It’s the only thing that makes absolute sense to me.” She sat up and turned, moving onto her knees to face him. “Think about it.”

Could she be right?

He laid his legs flat and scooted up a bit more, readjusting the pillows behind his back. Her spin on the choices was not one he’d thought about previously. “Perhaps.”

“And,” Ellen scooted closer, knees beside his hip, “we’ve established that you like the layers of human friendship; that you know there’s more to friendship you’ve yet to experience and would like to. You like the complexity of the emotions you’ve felt, though some continue to puzzle you. As with the friendship thing, there’s plenty more to discover. Believe me, Cas, you haven’t plumbed the depths there by any stretch.”

“I would feel much in the proposed mostly human state,” he mused aloud. “I would eventually understand even more. I would…get it.”

“While we’re on the subject of feeling things,” she said, taking his face in her hands, “let me give you a final thing to feel and think about.” Her thumbs caressed his cheeks. “Something more than friendship.” Her mouth touched his, the kiss she gave him going beyond appealing and into seductive, his body responding to that pull, stirring in pleasant ways he was beginning to be quite familiar with.

Ellen broke the kiss before he was ready for it to end, lips nibbling along his jaw. His tie was pulled off, tossed away. Cas moved his hand, setting it beside her knee. Slowly, he touched her leg, squeezing, sliding his hand up to rest it at her waist. He liked how the curve of her waist felt under his hand.

“You thinking yet, sweetie?” Her voice had gone husky. She grasped his hand, maneuvering it beneath the fabric of her shirt so that he touched bare skin. Soft. Warm. Enticing.

“I…yes.” He couldn’t stop thinking -- of what this could lead to.

She reached for his shirtfront, undoing the buttons and parting the fabric, tugging the tails free from his pants. Eyes on his, Ellen used her fingertips to draw little circles across his abdomen.

It tickled.

He skimmed his fingers along her side, reached her bra and hesitated, gauging her reaction. In his mind was a picture of what he wanted to do, but would she let him? As if in answer to that wondering, her free hand returned to grasp his, moving it that last bit so that he was touching her breast.

Cas let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“That’s where you want it. Get a nice good feel, hmm,” she whispered, then lowered her mouth to his chest, pressing slow kisses across and down, her tongue swirling against his skin. He wanted to close his eyes to savor the sensation, yet didn’t want to look away at the same time. Ellen’s hair spread across his skin.

His lips parted. “Oh….”

She reached the waist of his pants, slanted a mischievous look up at him, and began to kiss a path back to his mouth. With a final passionate meshing of lips and tongues, Ellen pulled away and slid his hand from her, leaving him wanting more kisses and touches.

“Why,” he gulped, “did you stop?”

Ellen settled back beside him, maneuvering so that his arm was around her and she could rest her head against his shoulder. “Because you should be thinking, Cas, not doing. Not yet, anyway. Just think about what you felt a minute ago, really give it a good once or twice over.” She raised a hand, covering her mouth as she yawned. “Sorry. I’m a little tired. Had a poker game last night going until about three and then I couldn’t sleep long. I was awake at dawn.”

He cupped her shoulder with his hand. She was human, she needed rest, and he did have thinking to do. “Can you sleep sitting up like this?”

“Not really, but I’m comfortable for the moment.”

Brushing his cheek against her hair, he squeezed her shoulder. “You’re lying.”

“Perceptive.“ A laugh left her. “Yeah, I am. I’ve got to lie down, sweetie. For a few minutes.” She tilted her head back a fraction, touched his jaw with her fingertips. “Stay?”

Castiel shifted position, sliding onto his back and drawing her down with him. “Go to sleep, Ellen,” he told her. “Rest.”

Ellen fell asleep quickly. She wasn’t restless, lying as still against him as he himself could lie. He spent two hours in that position, reaching his decision far quicker than he’d thought he would after the sensory information she’d given him. There was even time to spare.

With the decision behind him, he felt lighter, relaxed, and even anxious for dawn to come so that he could find Gabriel.

He let his glance ring the room, attention falling to the dresser. There was a stack of five books there. A part of him wanted to get up and look at them, maybe read for awhile. He held off the urge for half an hour, until his curiosity with the stack of five books got the better of him. He eased away from her, careful not to wake her, then went to the dresser and began to look at each book. Three appeared to be of the romance variety Jo had told him Ellen liked. Two by Kathleen Woodiwiss (Shanna and A Rose in Winter) and one by Bertrice Small (Love Wild and Fair). The other two were fantasy novels. Moira J. Moore (Resenting the Hero) and Spider Robinson (Callahan’s Lady).

With a glance at Ellen, he took the three romance novels to the table and sat in one chair. The blurb on the back of each book didn’t tell him terribly much, so he chose A Rose in Winter and started reading. An hour later, he set that book down and returned to the dresser for Callahan’s Lady. As he read the first couple chapters of it, his brows rose.

“Creative. Very creative.” Dean would like this book, he decided, and kept on reading as Ellen slept.

The sky began to lighten.

Castiel set the book down and began to put his clothes in order. As he strove to knot the tie in a semi-decent manner, something he had trouble doing, Ellen woke, stretching and pushing herself to a sitting position.

“Cas?”

“Ellen. It’s dawn.”

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, taking a long drink from the water glass on the nightstand. “And?”

He didn’t answer, instead pulling on his jacket and coat, watching her. Her curiosity and concern was reflected upon her face, quite easy to read.

Cas left to meet Gabriel.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ellen opened her door, curious as to Castiel’s decision and what would happen if he’d chosen to go with his brother. Would there be a flash of light, or anything in that case? Or would he just not be there anymore? He’d not told her which he’d chosen before leaving her room.

Across the street, she saw him materialize several paces from a man on one bench and walk the rest of the way to him.

She squinted. The man was Gabe.

Gabe? What the hell?

Her mind turned in furious circles over that. It was obvious Gabe was the one Cas was meeting, as there was no one else in the park. There wasn’t even anyone else that she could see out and about on the road or in the parking lot. Gabe was his brother. Gabe.

Turning, Ellen reached for her shoes and slipped them on before heading across the street. Halfway there, Gabe disappeared and a lot of things suddenly made sense.

Gabe’s timely appearances. His eerie knowledge of events that she and Jo had thought was psychic ability. She thought about everything Sam had told her the past couple days about angels and wondered how she and Jo had apparently rated a powerful angel checking in on them over the years.