Title: Consequences of Action

Chapter: 13

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel came through the beads in a rush, desperate to see Jo. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, brush in hand, dressed in the loose cotton chemise she’d taken to wearing at night. Her face was blotchy and swollen, showing clear remnants of how hard and long she’d cried.

She looked at him, gaze a little sad. “You forgot the birth control and didn’t tell me.” Her voice was husky and low.

Going to her, Castiel knelt on the floor in front of her, touching her thighs with tentative pats until he was sure she wasn’t going to shove him away. Then, he placed his hands on her legs. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Was that the reason you ran?”

“You let me think it failed.” Jo bit her lip, set the brush aside, and leaned back on her hands, not protesting his touch, but not leaning towards him like she usually did either. “Why? Why didn’t you say something? The next morning? Or anytime?”

“I didn’t think to,” he admitted, and it was the truth. He hadn’t thought to say anything to her because the odds of her getting pregnant were supposed to be steep. “And by the time you told me you were pregnant….” He shrugged. “I didn’t see any reason to tell you. I mean, you were already pregnant. Did the how matter?”

To his surprise, her lips parted and a snort of laughter sounded. “Damned if Risa wasn’t right. You’re such a man, Cas.”

He got the feeling that wasn’t a compliment at present. “I am sorry, Jo. I should have told you and that omission obviously caused you some great distress.”

“Oh, that wasn’t the only reason I left for awhile.” Jo shook her head and sat up.

“What was the other one?”

“Dean.” She said it as though he should have realized it. “He read it all, Cas. Tell me that freaks you out a little too, that he now knows private things about us; things that we thought and felt and….” Jo sighed. “I’m getting the feeling it doesn’t bother you like it does me. Why not?”

“It makes me uncomfortable, but you must understand, that discomfort is from a human perspective. Privacy is different for an angel. Very different. Chuck’s work is important and eventually, all of his writings will be found and read by many people. I don’t think about it and Dean didn’t mean to embarrass you. He has love for you Jo and he wouldn’t hurt you on purpose.”

“That’s what Risa said.”

“You weren’t supposed to know he’d read it all. He never intended you to know that or to feel embarrassed by realizing his knowledge and he never once used that knowledge to hurt you, did he?”

“No.”

“Is it too terrible what he knows?”

She leaned her head back, gaze roaming across the ceiling. Finally, she pursed her lips, shrugged her brows and looked back at him. “I suppose not, since I can’t prevent it having happened and he never said anything about it. As long as he continues not to say anything, I guess I can live with it. I’m not happy about it, but I can try to ignore it.” Jo rested her hands beside her hips and shifted position a fraction. “So, can you look me in the eye and promise me there isn’t anything else you haven’t told me?”

Castiel caressed her knees a moment, then got up to sit beside her. The situation with Jimmy was one she needed to be aware of. “I can’t do that.”

Her stare became hard and cool. “Start talking. I mean it. Talk now.”

“It should wait until tomorrow when we’re both thinking clearly.”

“No. Now. I can’t go to bed with you thinking there’s another big bomb waiting to be dropped on me. I can’t take much more, Cas. I’ve faced my fears and my weird little idiosyncrasies, spoken vows, had Jimmy’s daughter show up, learned Chuck’s a prophet and that my life is literally a book that’s being written…. Anything else too major might just break me at this point.”

“Okay, okay.” He bowed his head, watching her out of the corner of his eye. “Jimmy and I discovered a little while ago that I’ve developed the ability to let him surface fully for short periods, maybe fifteen minutes at most at a time.”

She blinked, then frowned. “I don’t think I can even begin to process that right now. What the hell does that mean for you? For him? For me?”

“I know. We’re having difficulty ourselves. I don’t know how or why it’s happened, if it’s a prelude to my powers returning or what. But Jimmy will be able to visit with Claire without me repeating everything he says to her. He can have a little bit of life that’s life.”

“Geez, Cas. What’s that mean for you and me?”

“Not exactly sure yet.” He and Jimmy hadn’t really gotten as far as discussing the situation between them in conjunction to Castiel’s relationship with Jo. They’d discussed what it could mean otherwise, such as Cas regaining his angel mojo, and begun to talk about Claire. Jimmy was looking forward to talking to Claire without having to go through Castiel.

“Is he awake right now?”

Jimmy didn’t answer his queries, so he assumed not. “I think he’s asleep. Switching back and forth seems to be harder on him than it is on me.”

“Okay.” Jo covered her mouth with one hand, then removed it and turned to face him, drawing her legs up under her. “Here’s my thought on you and me and him with this new situation. I’ll talk to him when he’s in control, but that’s all. It was one thing for him to wake up in certain moments because it was all the life he had, with no real control. He couldn’t do anything separate of you.” Her tongue slipped out and wet her lips. “It’s another thing for him to be in control sometimes. That means he can be separate of you for brief periods. Now, I like him so far, but like we talked about, it’s you I love, not him. It’s you I want to be with. That separateness…. That’s a line, Cas, right? You’re two separate guys. I won’t…I can’t….” She glanced away. “He can have conversation and nothing else from me. No kissing, no touching, no…nothing else. Got it?”

“Yes.” He understood what she was saying. She wouldn’t be intimate with Jimmy. He didn’t tell her there was thus far a chance Jimmy could be awake without Cas knowing about it. Jimmy could surface, but Castiel still didn’t know when he was awake or sleeping unless Jimmy said something. That power wasn’t present -- so far. “I’d have it no other way in this situation. You’re mine, not Jimmy’s. He knows that.”

She released a long breath, her shoulders relaxing. “Good. As long as that’s clear.”

Raising a hand, he cupped her jaw, rubbed his thumb along her cheek. “I’m sorry, Jo, for all of it. You’ve been far more patient than I deserve.”

“Well, I’m still pissed with you,” she admitted. “And with Dean. And, hell, you should have told me about Chuck. All this time, I thought it was sort of creepy how he knew things and now I’m really creeped out by how much he knows.”

“Are we okay now?”

“I think so, but let me sleep on that. We may need more discussion tomorrow.”

They went to bed, though it wasn’t evening, Cas holding her as their exhaustion from the emotional turmoil of the day pulled them both into sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

Punishment was looming near. Zachariah had little time to waste, whether his plan was ready or not. If he didn’t go now, he’d never have the chance to flee.

He had to stop this. He had to make paradise come before He came home and there was only one way to do that. He’d slip into 2009 and give Dean Winchester a hopeless view of 2014, one where God didn’t return and everything was near death. It was a genius plan, one he was sure his ’09 self would approve of. He’d show Dean a future that didn’t really exist:

A Dean still running from woman to woman, not the Dean down there now who’d found love, contentment, and even a sort of peace as the world fell apart around him.

A Castiel who never began to cope with his depression over the loss of his angelic identity and never discovered love himself with that meddling, irritating Harvelle girl.

Nor would Zachariah show Dean any hint of Jo Harvelle, especially not that she was breeding with Castiel. The thought of that alone gave him shudders of horror. He couldn’t imagine wanting a physical relationship with a human, let alone her. She’d almost ruined everything by working to convince Sam to say ‘no’. Luckily, Sam had walked right up to Lucifer and given his consent with a cocky tilt to his young, obedient brow. Lovely, obedient Sam….

Honestly, it didn’t surprise him too much that Castiel had become that familiar with human females. He was that sort to begin with, with a spark of unbridled curiosity. Zachariah had thought that spark was suppressed, initially impressed by how well Castiel had done in Anna’s unit, but then he was proven wrong about it. It wasn’t suppressed, merely lurking patiently to rise up at the most inopportune time. Even after being disciplined, Castiel displayed the annoying tendency towards individuality, continuing to question and search for answers to his questions. He hadn’t been content with his orders, thinking for himself, deciding for himself what was reasonable instead of following those orders like he was supposed to. Discipline had not taken the inclination from him. It had only appeared to increase his propensity towards it.

Risa would simply be a jealous one-night stand and not Dean’s wife who, if Zachariah was right, was going to be the next to show up pregnant. It was like dominoes. If left unchecked, those humans would all be breeding again and overflowing the earth. A catastrophe.

He’d show Dean a world with no hope save him -- as long as he went back to 2009 and said ‘yes’. Zachariah was confident he could get Dean to accept Michael early. Then he -- Zachariah -- would have everything he’d ever wanted. Paradise. With himself at the top of the pyramid.

He’d beat God to the punch. Without Him home, there’d be no judgment.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Zachariah has fled to earth.”

Gabriel looked up, the blond woman beside him disappearing. In pieces, the rest of the room Gabriel had created also disappeared until the remaining furniture was the bed he lounged on. “And? Weren’t we expecting that move?”

“We were, but I’ve just been informed that Raphael’s vessel is dead.”

“Meaning I get to finish his job.” A roll of his eyes conveyed Gabriel’s thoughts on that as he sat up.

“You’re perhaps better suited to follow Zachariah anyway.”

“Are you implying that Raphael is not the best at surveillance? I’m simply shocked, Mike.”

“He did try, however. He was…upset to discover his vessel was no more.”

“You didn’t think to check on that before assigning him? Good going. You’re getting forgetful in your old age.”

“Do you think you could have done better? With all of the matters I must consider at present, I’m frankly surprised I’ve not forgotten more.”

“Okay, okay.” The scene began to return. The rug, the night tables, the blond. Gabriel laid back down.

“Gabriel!” Michael couldn’t help the annoyed tone to his voice.

“What?”

“I need you to do this now.”

The scene disappeared once more. “What’s the rush?”

“We’re running out of time. Look for yourself if you don’t believe me.”

He watched Gabriel stand and his expression change from boredom and annoyance to concern as he viewed the little information they had regarding what was going to happen. Without stepping in right now, what was coming was unstoppable. Gabriel frowned. “You didn’t see this before?”

“Would I have tarried if I had?” He’d neglected to look forward and he should have. This need to hurry now was all his fault. He’d been so busy dealing with current matters that he’d not taken in all possible factors. He’d assumed they had plenty of time and they didn’t.

“What a way to screw up, Mike. This goes beyond the average screw-up.”

“You needn’t tell me. I’m aware of my mistake.” He was supposed to be the one to remember everything and yet he felt like he was lurching from one matter to the next. “I’ve little time to convince Dean Winchester to accept me.”

“Better get cracking them. He’s one stubborn SOB. I’d guess you’ve got, like, a day, maybe two at most.”

“I’m…aware of that.” He took a few steps towards Gabriel. “I need to ask…. You were a messenger once and you’ve dealt with him before. What approach would you recommend for me to take? I wish to display to him from first personal contact that I will have a care for him.” He’d been told to, promised he would.

Gabriel paced a moment, suddenly very serious, more so than Michael had seen in a long time. “Go into his dreams. You’ll need to project and remain here for that, otherwise your presence could harm his wife and that certainly wouldn’t bring on trust from him. You harm her in any way and we’re all sunk. Watch the volume of your voice, ask him if it’s too loud. Be polite, and most of all, don’t let your distaste of humans show. He’ll know. Dean’s not stupid. The guy has more smarts than you think he does.”

“You almost sound like you admire him.”

“I’ll admit to liking him. He’ll be stubborn and you might have to reveal something to him in proof of your intentions, so be prepared for that before you approach him.”

He started to leave in order to prepare himself for speaking with Dean, but Gabriel’s voice stopped him.

“Michael? Good luck. I’ll give Raphael what he’ll need to replace me in my final task and then I’ll follow Zach.”

“Thank you, Gabriel. If all goes well….” He shrugged. “If it doesn’t, then…..”

Gabriel nodded. “Yeah. I know. Love you, too.”

Michael prepared himself and when he was as ready as he’d ever be, he searched out Dean Winchester’s consciousness, waiting until the best moment to enter his dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel didn’t expect to think about lunch and materialize at the dining hall, though in retrospect he should have. For a second, he thought he’d blacked out on the walk, but then he tried again.

And it worked.

He still couldn’t do the other things he’d once been able, but this he could do. Teleporting himself and letting Jimmy surface. Cas smiled.

Why now? Would his other abilities return as well given time? He did feel stronger and more calm than he had in years.

Just because he could, he did it several more times, grin widening with each successful try until, on the final one, he heard a gasp and crash. Turning, he saw Mya standing there, a box on the ground at her feet, items spilling from it.

“What are you?” Her eyes were wide and frightened.

“Human.” Perhaps he should have been a bit more careful.

“Bullshit,” she spat. “Humans don’t disappear like that, nor do they feel like an electrical tingle on my skin or static in my head. What are you, Castiel?”

Crouching, he placed the items that had fallen from the box back into it. “I was an angel once.” The fear in her eyes deepened and he shook his head. “Don’t be afraid, Mya. I’m not one anymore. There’s no reason for you to fear me.”

“The story is true? The whole vessel-angel thing…it’s real then?”

“Yes.”

She studied him. “You still have power.”

“No, not really. I can sense things sometimes and apparently my ability to teleport has returned.” Which meant his wings were there. Following that logic…he was no longer as far on the human side as he’d thought. A confusing realization. Would his emotions go away next? The idea of losing the love he had for Jo frightened him. He didn’t want to return to that nearly emotionless state. Slowly, he stood. “I didn’t mean to startle you or frighten you. I apologize.” Cas turned to go -- walking this time.

Her hand lashed out, gripping his arm, the fabric of his jacket bunching in her grip. “You’re not the only one.”

“Excuse me?”

Mya released him, wiping her hand against her thigh. “The other night I woke up with the same feeling I get around you, only it was far worse. I couldn’t move, think, could barely remember to breathe and then it was just gone. So if what I feel is angel, then there was another one here in the camp in the middle of the night.”

Who had it been? Someone powerful? Or did angels of average power cause that reaction in her? “Did you see the angel?”

“No. Does…does Jo know?”

“Yes. She’s known all along what I was. I was still one when we first met.” He left her standing there, thinking about what she’d learned. In light of his situation, Castiel thought he needed to share one more thing with Jo. He went to their cabin.

Opening one trunk, Cas removed items until he reached those at the bottom. While that suit Jimmy had been wearing was long gone due to rips and tears that couldn’t be repaired, not to mention the mud, blood, and grass stains, Castiel had kept the coat.

Please tell me you’re not going to try it on like an aging superhero longing for the good old bad days.

No, I’m not. Relax.

Good. Because if you do that, I’ll have to start yelling. It’s the past. Leave it there.

It was a symbol of who and what he’d been and what he’d never be again. From a human perspective, he could see why Dean had called them all dicks. None of them had been particularly likeable. He wondered why Dean had persisted with him.

Maybe because you were different even then? Even when you were going with the flow, you didn’t go with the flow. Face it, Castiel, you’ve always stood out in a crowd. Even Anna singled you out.

Sometimes standing out isn’t a good thing. He unfolded the coat with gentle fingers and found what he’d been searching for, right where he’d left it.

What’s with the knife?

I want to show it to Jo, tell her about it and how to use it.

It’s a knife. What’s to explain?

It’s my duty knife, Jimmy. Like a service revolver. I want her to know what it does to angels in case they start showing up with bad intentions.

A human can kill an angel? That seems somehow wrong.

Castiel set it aside and began putting items back. Jimmy hadn’t been awake and aware enough to know much about that knife. As long as one of our knives is used, a human can kill an angel. It’s difficult for a human to get one. Nearly impossible.

How do you know it’ll work?

Dean used it once in a last ditch effort to stop one of Zachariah’s buddies. I don’t know who was more surprised when it worked: him, the angel, or me. We’d always been told that only an angel can kill an angel. Closing the trunk, he picked up the knife and stood. I’ve learned a lot of things I thought were true were false.

He set the knife on the table, grabbed a pack of cards and sat down to wait for Jo to return.

~~~~~~~~~~

Even with the ritual, Zachariah could no longer bend time. He raged over the injustice of that and wondered which one of his brothers had dared to touch his powers. He muttered all the way to Dean Winchester’s pitiful little camp. If he couldn’t thwart one thing, he’d stop another.

First, he’d kill Jo Harvelle and that abomination inside her, and then he’d deprive Dean Winchester of his precious wife. He wouldn’t do it directly. No, there were always humans that were very easy to manipulate. He suspected it’d be easy to find one that continued to have the hots for Castiel despite his relationship with Jo. After all, the sort of human life he’d lived for awhile wasn’t exactly chaste.

Zachariah looked forward to seeing Castiel’s face when he found Jo and the child dead. Or dying. Either would be lovely. Castiel had been a thorn in his side for far longer than Castiel could even remember. It was inconceivable that being made human hadn’t broken him completely.

And Dean. Uncooperative Dean. Why should he have happiness when Zachariah’s dreams were smashed? If he’d only done what he was supposed to, none of this would ever have happened.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean was having a pleasant dream about Risa and three children. In his dream, Risa was extremely pregnant, playing with two small children, a boy and a girl. The children were perhaps four. The boy looked to be slightly older than the girl, slim and taller than she was, with eyes a vibrant blue that didn’t look natural. The girl had that adorable pudgy look some young children have, her long dark hair loose down her back. Both children were laughing and Risa, too, was laughing, her smile showing no strain that was often present these days.

His dream self walked towards them.

Dean.

The voice rang in his head, interrupting his dream. He recognized the voice without having ever heard it before. Michael. It was loud, a little too much at first, then toning down to something a bit more pleasant.

I wish to speak with you, Dean. Can you hear me? Dean? I’m trying not to hurt you with the volume. I’m…inexperienced with this sort of communication. Please. Can you hear me?

His dream self turned, looking for the source of the voice even as the dream scene dissolved into nothingness. Oh, so now you want to chat? Where’ve you dicks been?

There were…extenuating circumstances to our absence. I apologize if you thought I wasn’t listening. I was trying to listen and was unable to hear for a long while. It was not of my volition. The volume, is it bearable?

Sure is. What do you want?

There was silence for a long moment. To help you.

Dean laughed. Tell me another one. I can use the laughter.

Michael’s voice was impatient. I’m being very serious. I couldn’t come when you called for me for the simple fact that we were being disciplined. A veil was over the earth and I couldn’t hear you until after the fact. As the oldest, I’ve been charged with ‘cleaning up the mess’ we made, starting with Lucifer.

Dean snorted. I begged, pleaded, and you didn’t answer. Forget it.

He sighed. The Colt you’re pinning all of your hopes on won’t work. He’s one of the things it won’t kill. You can’t kill him, Dean, but I can take care of him.

Take care of him, he repeated. You mean kill him.

No. I’m not allowed to kill him.

Why?

Because we jumped the gun. We pushed for the end before God had even scheduled it. It’s not on His timetable, so Lucifer must be re-imprisoned. It’s too late for you to do it, but you and I together have the ability.

Isn’t that just peachy? No.

I’m prepared to offer you anything you ask of me.

Anything at all?

I promise.

Magnanimous of you.

It is, actually. Michael sighed again. Dean, may I manifest as a version of yourself? I find it difficult to interact with you without a dream body for you to relate to.

Me talking to me? No. Creepy, dude.

An annoyed growl. Very well. I shall adapt. John Winchester appeared. He was the young John Dean had met once, not the older, worn, tired one. He raised his hands. Will this be acceptable?

Still creepy, but I think I can live with it.

Excellent. As I was saying, I’ll give you whatever you ask for, and I’ll make certain you’re in perfect health upon leaving your body.

Why should I trust you?

Why shouldn’t you?

You have to ask that question? Seriously?

There was silence for a long moment, Michael frowning. Fair enough. I suppose few of us have engendered trust in our meetings. His shrug was almost helpless. We need you, Dean. Not to bring paradise, but to re-imprison Lucifer before he fully destroys the earth and makes it uninhabitable for survivors. We have a timetable. The clock is ticking down to the very last moment possible to stop it all. In two weeks, he will cause an earthquake that sets off a chain reaction along all the fault lines across the globe. What happened to Illinois is nothing. This will be global. One quake will trigger the next until a full third of the earth is essentially gone. That’s the fail point, Dean. He must be stopped before then.

And if we don’t?

The end comes. Chuck’s writings are done, Castiel, Jo, their child, you, Risa, everyone in the entire world will have a short while longer to live. The heavens will fall to the earth, locusts will eat your crops, disease will spread faster, the water will turn sour and undrinkable…. Need I continue?

He turned away, thought a moment, then turned back. Why not just let it come?

Do you love your family, Dean? Not only your wife, but your friends as well. Castiel, Jo, Chuck. Do you love all of them?

Of course I do. He loved them with differing levels of that feeling, but he did love all of them.

Well, I love my family, too. Even when they’re disobedient and willful, I still love them and I don’t want to lose any more than I already have. You lost Sam to Lucifer. Imagine losing hundreds of siblings you dearly love forever, never to see them again.

You feel that pain? He could imagine it with ease, the unceasing waves of grief, attacking over and over. It surprised him that Michael felt it. He thought angels didn’t feel the way humans did.

Some of us do feel emotions. Archangels, the class directly below us…. Emotions for the rest were capped to varying degrees depending on the job they were given to perform. I do know and understand grief. The extent of it that I’ll feel when judgment comes…. I will nearly drown from it. Michael watched him with an expression of defeat, as though he was anticipating refusal and was trying to keep his hopes from rising too far. We have a chance to stop it, to stay it. I have the chance to maybe save some of my brethren, convince them to ask for forgiveness. I have to try. Please, Dean.

The archangel’s gaze pleaded. He seemed terrified by that word ‘judgment’.

Before paradise there must be judgment. It’ll come for all, even us. We forgot that part. When our Father returned home --

He’s home? He’s back up there?

Yes. He made it clear where our choices have brought us. There are consequences to both paths, Dean, and when I weigh them both, I find I’d prefer to attempt stopping this end of all. Even angels have consequences to our actions. We all, humans as well, must face what we’ve done and ask for forgiveness. If we stop it, we can ask freely for forgiveness and have it given for that asking. If this continues, mercy is done. Final judgment upon all will commence. All will be judged.

Why did you wait this long to see me? I mean, if judgment is hanging so close over all our heads.

I had to take care of a few things before I could even think of approaching you. You have a single day to make your decision. Any longer and I don’t believe we can finish our altercation with Lucifer in time. Meet me at Castiel’s favorite rest stop with your answer anytime in the afternoon.

How do I know you’re telling the truth?

Tomorrow there’ll be a hailstorm at nine forty-five in the morning followed by a tornado. You will lose five of your people from the hail and while the tornado won’t touch down in your camp, you’ll see it coming, feel the power of it, and watch it miss you. Stay inside your camp, Dean. Keep your people inside the fences and you’ll only lose the five.

Dread slid along his skin. Who will we lose, he asked, but Michael had already disappeared.

He woke and climbed from bed. After dressing, he woke Risa, extracted a promise from her to stay inside, then hurried from cabin to cabin, ordering his people inside until afternoon. Some questioned, most didn’t. He stayed awake the rest of the night, waiting for the storm.

When it came, it was a doozey, the sky a sickly green, the hail huge, immediately followed by the rumbling of the tornado Michael had told Dean about. Dean could see it approaching in the sky, probably what would have been classed as an EF5. It was immense, terrifying to behold. The hairs on his arms stood up, tension keeping his shoulders tight. He watched it lift up back into the dark clouds, a massive whirling overhead and ran to the window on the other side of the cabin to see where it went and what it did. The swirling of the clouds was almost hypnotic.

Risa’s nails dug into his arm. “It’s going to miss us,” she whispered, half in question.

He didn’t answer, leaning forward, watching for when it would touch back down. As long as it got to the hill, it’d miss them completely. The clouds passed over the hill and as it slipped from sight, he saw the funnel descend once more.

“Oh, thank God,” Risa said, sinking to the floor and drawing her knees up. She pressed her face to her knees, her relief almost palpable in the air about her. “It missed us.”

Michael had told him the truth.

Dean stepped outside to see who had been caught outside, hoping and praying it wasn’t anyone he loved. He braced himself for whatever he found.

With relief, he discovered those he loved lived and was immediately ashamed for the relief. They’d lost Carrie, Jane, Hank, Ryan, and Nick and no more. Only the five and all to hail. He was saddened to discover that Carrie and Ryan had died when hail punched through the roofs of their cabins. While they’d heeded his warning, they’d still died. Five total.

Michael was waiting. Did he say no and let the world finish dying along with everyone he loved? Or did he say yes and maybe have a shot at ending this? He didn’t expect Michael would keep his word. He didn’t expect to come through that fight anything other than a drooling, pathetic mess. Very few angels had been anything near decent, but the desperation he’d seen in Michael’s expression and heard in his voice had been very real.

Dean weighed both options. He agonized over what he knew. Could he say no realizing that the joy Cas and Jo felt over their baby was going to be destroyed? Could he say no understanding that Risa would die sooner rather than later, without experiencing that same joy Jo felt? Could he say no with the knowledge that it really was down to him now to attempt to save them all?

At the same time, could he say yes, walk away now, and return the way he suspected he would? Could he leave them all with only the shell of him remaining knowing he’d saved them by doing this?

The decision was not an easy one. If anything, it was far more difficult than it had been that time he’d called out. Then, he’d cried out from desperation. Now, he made an informed decision based on many factors, desperation simply one of the many.

“God help me,” he whispered as he reached for his jacket.

Dean kissed Risa, told her he loved her and that he was going to make the rounds again, and slipped from the camp. He had a meeting to get to.