Ruminations
by GemL
Summary: As he rests on the Death Star, Anakin/Vader considers Princess Leia.
Timeframe: ANH.
Rating: k+ or PG
Disclaimer: Star Wars is the property of George Lucas and Twentieth Century Fox. No disrespect is intended with this story.
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Darth Vader has captured a key player in the rebellion. Aboard the Death Star, Princess Leia of Alderaan is securely locked in the detention block. Now, Lord Vader has retired to rest and meditate. Deep within his subconscious, a long repressed presence cautiously awakens....
These resurfacing memories....
Something about her has stirred the deeply buried memories, and those memories hurt. This insolent spitfire, this...this Princess Leia, of Alderaan...such an unself-conscious assurance of herself....
His Padmé, Queen and Senator, had possessed that same unconscious quiet assurance. There was something of a resemblance also, a look about this girl that touched a raw nerve deep within his sub-conscious, an ache for the child he'd never know, the child he'd arrogantly destroyed without thought for anything but his own power and importance, destroyed as he'd angrily used Vader's now infamous chokehold to halt the words Padmé uttered, the words that Vader/Anakin refused to hear, to throw her aside, as if discarding a toy.
She'd limply fallen in a broken heap....
Something like a shudder ran through Anakin/Vader's mind....
He'd turned to and eagerly embraced the Dark Side to save her from the horrible fruition of his prophetic visions. Instead, he'd used that power to kill her, Padmé, his beloved wife, and their unborn child...the child who would have been about the age of this fearless young woman. Would his child have shown such spirit?
The arrogance of Vader/Anakin surfaced momentarily. Of course he would have, his son would have been fearless and loyal! Could the son of Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader have been anything less?
Then, if Vader's face could smile, he would....
That girl though...he could almost respect her, to wish she could have been his child, his and Padmé's. It would be too bad to terminate her, if the Emperor so desired. She was a worthy adversary -- for someone without the powers of the Force, that is....
Beautiful, fearless...and doomed.
There would be no escape for her, as there had been none for him. What the Emperor desired came to be...always!
Once, Anakin/Vader had dreamed of his own escape, to become Emperor himself, with Padmé and his son at his side....
But with the loss of both -- and unthinkably, at his own hand! -- that dream vanished and completed Anakin Skywalker's metamorphosis into Darth Vader, Sith Lord. Despair at his own heedless actions, unexpressed grief, and self-blame had turned the joyous young Jedi into this angst-ridden and ruthless apprentice to the Emperor....
As if sensing his presence in the thought of his minion, the Emperor chose that moment to initiate contact. Vader pushed Anakin back into the secret recesses of his mind....
"Yes, my Master, I await your bidding."
