Mine Alone

Author: kasey8473

Summary: Padmé would be his. Anakin knew it without one doubt.

Rating: PG-13

Timeframe: AOTC

Disclaimer: Star Wars is the property of George Lucas. No disrespect is intended with this story.

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In the darkest hours of the night, she was mine.

When the sadness of my dreams threatened to overtake me, I forced my thoughts on to her. My angel. I would lie still in the dark, holding the image of her serene beauty in my mind until my mind cooperated fully, weaving blissful fantasy interludes between us.

The two of us. Her and I. Together. Alone.

Over the years, my imaginings have changed. At first, she was a comfort, slender arms holding me against her, wrapping a blanket about me to keep me warm. A substitute for my mother, gentle and calming. Padmé's melodious voice soothed the aching pain of loneliness inside me and I would turn my face against her as I had with my mother, drinking in the pleasant scent of her perfume.

I would dream of her and feel a peace upon waking, as though just by thinking of her I could feel her with me.

But then I grew and recognized that her beauty pleased me on deeper levels, that her voice touched a place inside me that made my stomach feel faintly ill. A good ill, never the bad kind. A nervousness, a shaky sensation. I no longer thought of her like I did my mother.

I watched her on the HoloNews, those brief moments when she was asked to comment on some movement or another in the Senate. She was so assured, so absolutely certain of her convictions. Passionate about her causes. She was so enthusiastic, so alive. Even halfway across the galaxy, I was drawn to her again and again.

I loved her.

More time passed and I was made aware of the exact nature of what I was feeling. The emotional. The...physical. How could I not? On some worlds, discretion is not common and I have eyes to see what goes on between men and women. I know what happens in the dark hours of night.

She was in my thoughts.

To see her again was joy, was pain, and I was surprised to see a flicker of the same awareness I had of her in her eyes. She looked at me and recognized me. Me! Not as the little boy she knew, but that I had grown. I was more than what I was and I'd made her aware of that. I'd made her uncomfortable and I decided it was a good sort of discomfort. It was good for her to see me as I am now.

She needed to see that I am ready for a deeper relationship. I am ready to be everything she could possibly want or need.

For years, I have thought of her, dreamed of her and now I am getting to her. She responded to my kiss and though she claimed it was she that gave it, it was I that leaned down to her. I felt her skin beneath my fingertips and her mouth against mine. She wanted that kiss. I felt it. She desired that kiss. Her thoughts were not guarded right then. She wished it to continue....

But she pulled away and I do not understand why. She wanted more. Why deny herself the very thing she wanted?

I want her, need her. Each moment that passes only strengthens what I feel. I am cold, I am hot and I wonder if she remembers that I once told her I was going to marry her. I still know that we will be together. After all this time, that certainty is still inside me. Even now, I know it will happen.

Why did she wear that dress? Did she purposefully mean to torture me? Her shoulders bare, the curves of her breasts thrust upward and very nearly spilling over the edge of her bodice. Her waist tiny and the curve of her hips emphasized. That image will be with me forever, feeding my fantasies more than she can ever imagine.

I told her my feelings, saw her uncomfortable once more and pressed on. Surely she'd reciprocate, but no, she did not. She lied to me, I saw it in her eyes. She was rational, my angel. So rational. But she feels something. It's there and there will come a time I'm certain where she will not be able to deny it. We are meant to be. Perhaps not now, but some day. It will happen.

She will be mine. Mine alone.

I nodded, and left her by the fire.

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Mine Alone

Chapter Two: Padmé's view on Anakin.

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Honestly, I had not expected him to come back into my life and not as a handsome, determined man. I guess that, even though I should have known he would grow up, I still pictured him as a child. It surprised me to see him grown, tall and handsome. Attractive. I felt an unexpected burst of pleasure in response to him and a discomfort from the naked appreciation in his blue eyes.

He did not bother to cover it up. He never bothered. I would look up and see him watching me, studying me, noting every little thing about me. He made me conscious of myself and I found myself wondering what he was thinking. Did he look at me and imagine things in his mind? Did his own thoughts tread to the same intimate areas mine began easing towards?

I must admit that I began dressing with veiled speculation as to if he would like the clothes. A little more skin here, a slit on my skirt that revealed the line of my leg. Perhaps I intentionally teased him a bit, enjoying in my feminine power over him. But I never thought he would do more than watch. I did not think he would lean down to me and kiss me with such tenderness. His kiss held such sweet passion to it, coaxing me to release my own restraint.

My own reaction horrified me even as it excited.

I called that kiss mine, tried to tell him I gave it, absolving him of blame. He's a Jedi. He should not be kissing women or doing anything else with them. He told me himself a Jedi cannot love, not that sort of love. That kiss replayed in my thoughts, over and over and I.... I yearned for more.

That yearning swelled as the tide, yet never retreated as a tide does. I wanted more kisses, more touches, his hands sweeping along my skin with tantalizing slowness. I wanted what I could not have. I wanted him.

He told me his feelings, a breathless rush of honesty that I was unprepared for. We'd been dancing about one another so well that I thought we could continue it without having that talk about our feelings. But he spoke and he laid himself bare before me. What could I do? I could not give in. I could not lean forward as I wanted so desperately to and kiss him before he'd finished speaking. There was much I could not do and only one thing I could. I am a rational person. Really, I am. I had to hold tight to that and so I did. He reacted as well as can be expected for a man who has chanced all and told of the things in his heart.

He stood, gave that proposal that tempted me. It tempted. It teased and tormented, ringing the room and I imagined where we would end up were we to do this.

I knew if he took a single step back towards me, my resolve would crumble and I'd run into his arms. I would let more kisses pass between us, meeting his hungry mouth with mine. But it would not end there. A kiss is not enough. I would allow him liberties I have allowed none to take and we would end the night joined together, drowning in that chaotic whirlpool of desire. One night would not be enough and we would keep returning to it until we would drown, destroyed by our own lusts.

One single step was all I needed.

What is happening to me?

I am a Senator, an upholder of right for my people and he, he is a Jedi, doing the same for the galaxy. It would be wrong to know his touch and, confusingly, so very right at the same time. It would be wrong. What would people think? A worldly Senator corrupting a virtuous Jedi? Or would they imagine a persuasive Jedi using mystical powers to coax an admittedly chaste woman into loosening her moral stance?

But he did not take that step, turning instead and leaving me there. I thank the heavens above that the room was dark and he had not been able to see the trembling that gripped me. If he had seen, what I knew could occur would have. Anakin would not have hesitated. He would have seen the truth and come to me, brushing aside my false protestations. Ripping apart the lie I told us both.

Then to see him so undone from the loss of his mother. I wanted to hold him to me, to wrap my arms around him and comfort him. Take the sorrow and cast it aside. He told me the truth of what had happened, how he'd killed those animals.

They were animals, too. I'd heard the stories Beru, Cliegg and Owen told all night as we waited for him to return. I'd learned that the Tusken Raiders looked like men and weren't at the same time. They were savage monsters. Animals.

And poor Shmi's body bore that out. The cuts, the bruises. They hurt her, then let her heal and hurt her a bit more. The agony she must have gone through. I cannot imagine such pain, such utter hopelessness as she must have felt as the days passed and there was no rescue. The despair. How did she bear it as long as she did? How does a woman live with despair and still find hope to keep her alive until it is safe for her fall into death?

He cried in my arms, finally turning towards me, his face pressed against me. I stroked his hair, his cheek, and my heart grew that much fonder of him. He grieved. He regretted and he pulled himself back together. My Anakin.

I thought I could love him and keep a safe distance between us. That lie I told myself.

We go to die now, in this arena. I cannot hold back. I have to tell him. I love him. For this moment before we die, I will admit my feelings. I cannot keep silent when I may lose him. If, by some miracle, we live through this, I will not hesitate any longer. That is my vow. I will grab at happiness with both hands. I will pledge myself to him and be forever his.

His alone.